Tidal30 Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 (edited) I've see a lot of threads like the one I am making, this seems to be a pretty common problem with opposite sex close friends. I shouldn't even be all too surprised I fell into this situation. Six years ago I met a girl at a college party. We flirted with each other and hung out a few times, but nothing every happened. Months later we ran into each other and we just clicked. Problem was at that time we were both in relationships. As time went on we became very close friends, and discussed extremely personal stuff, things we wouldn't dream of telling others. Despite the amount of time we were talking to each other and seeing each other, everything remained just friends. Throughout this stretch, I was just fine with that, She constantly called me her "BFF" and I just accepted it and went on with my dating life. She seemed to really enjoy having me as a "BFF". We hung out a lot, texted a ton, and helped each other out with pretty much everything the past 5 years. A lot of friends thought we were dating at times and just not saying anything. I've been on and off dating the past few years. I have had some relationships but something happens, like the last girl has to move for work and ends the relationship. She on the other hand has been in a relationship for a little over 2 years, and despite some issues, she seems happy. Prior to that she was in the phase I am in now. Last few months, I have been having strong feelings for her, certainly feelings of love that go beyond any just sexual. I have been regretting not trying to date her when were started to become close friends as we were both single for a stretch at that time. She's attractive, we have a lot of similar interests, she cares about me, I mean its just all there for me to fall for her right now. I do believe she had feelings for me at one time long ago. There was a time when she was always wanting to hold hands or constantly touch me when we were together. But its been a few years since that phase. Its kind of hard to deal with this. One nice thing lately is we've both had real busy schedules, and not talking to her or hanging out the past 6 weeks really helped. This weekend we met up for lunch, she treated me saying its been too long since we met up and its on her. She gave me a few real deep hugs while we hung out and kissed me on the cheek twice, saying how great it was too see me and we've got to keep closer in touch when busy etc. I know that stuff was just because it was a long time since she's seen her "BFF". Sadly this played real bad on these feelings, and go figure yesterday and today have been rough dealing with this. So I dunno what to do. I think at some level she has feelings for me but right now prefers our close "BFF" friendship over anything else. That alone would make me hesitant to tell her how I feel. I wouldn't want to make things awkward and ruin a friendship. She's not single, and I have no intention of causing issues with her relationship. I'm not like that. It seems like regardless, I can't really tell her how I feel. If she was single though, I think I am at a point I'd risk the friendship and say something. Everything I read on here about these situations says to limit contact with her and really go out and date. I guess I have no choice but to follow that advice. But I don't want to, so I am real conflicted despite knowing the hard reality of the situation. Guess that's love for you, makes you want to ignore or try to defy logic. FML lol! Edited July 10, 2017 by Tidal30 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 She has a BF of two years. You can't do anything. Put some distance in here so you stop having your nose pressed up to the bakery window when you are on a diet but for heaven's sake keep your mouth closed. If at some point you are both single, then & only then, can you try to transition this from dear friends to more. N.B. this isn't like the movies; you can't blurt it out to her on the eve of her wedding to somebody else & expect her to run off with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tidal30 Posted July 10, 2017 Author Share Posted July 10, 2017 (edited) She has a BF of two years. You can't do anything. Put some distance in here so you stop having your nose pressed up to the bakery window when you are on a diet but for heaven's sake keep your mouth closed. If at some point you are both single, then & only then, can you try to transition this from dear friends to more. N.B. this isn't like the movies; you can't blurt it out to her on the eve of her wedding to somebody else & expect her to run off with you. You are right, I can't do anything. Even when I am thinking irrational about this, I still know I can't say anything right now. I am not like that anyways. I am not going to try and confess my love for her and try to pull her out of her relationship. Also I am thinking about her, I wouldn't want to put her that situation. Good analogy! I know that is what I have to do but its not easy. Its a problem because I am certainly in the top 2 for her closest current friends. So she wants to text me daily about things going on in her life and seems like us not talking that much or seeing each other for 6 weeks is making her want to talk and hang out more now. Edited July 10, 2017 by Tidal30 Link to post Share on other sites
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