Ladiixmk Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Hello everyone! So first things first, I am crushing hard on this guy. We are coworkers - yeah I know, it's probably not a good idea to pursue a coworker, BUT here we are lol. He works in another state though. Anyways, we first met each other in February over the phone (I had to teach him some work-related stuff), and we've been working on a project together every day since then. In April I had to travel to his state for training for 4 days, and that's when we met face to face. During training he had gotten my number, and after I left we have been texting/talking to each other ever since. At first, I started off a bit guarded but then I started to warm up to him. Now we talk every single day and over the phone for more than 3 hours. We have a lot in common and our personalities are pretty similar. He always tells me cute stuff such as how he's never met a girl like me before and he's happy that we've met, and he always speaks long term about us. I really like this guy. HOWEVER, I have a few personal issues that I need to work on. The first one is my fear of commitment/intimacy - my last ex cheated on me twice, and I've been very closed off to relationships ever since (it's been 4 years). And I've realized that it impacts the way I communicate with this guy because whenever he shows behavior that my ex had (such as not texting me back for hours), I think of irrational thoughts such as "oh he must be cheating" or "oh he found another girl" and then it leads to "I should just end this" - meanwhile, he's just been busy. I did speak to him about my fear and my past and he has been very understanding. Now I've been trying to open up to him emotionally, but it's pretty hard... I've also been suffering from depression and as a result have withdrew most of my communication from friends, even though they still contact me. I hardly go out anymore, and I hate it and it's something that I've been working on. Now I'm starting to realize that I think that talking to him not only makes me feel better, but it blurs my depression. However, I want to find peace within myself first before pursuing anyone. (And no, I did NOT have a conversation with him about my depression). Now here is what's really stuck on my mind - he wants to see me. At first he was going to come to my state, however since his old car broke down and he just bought a new one, he's running low on money. So I offered to go and see him in his state. I didn't book anything yet though we've been talking about it. At first I was really excited about the idea, but here and there I keep thinking "but what if I get played?" And now I'm starting to think once again that I should end things between us. I know this all sounds so stupid, but I don't know what to do. I can't really talk to anybody about it. I need some advice :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Cooper04 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I don't know why you say this sounds stupid, it's a genuine issue and anything but stupid.. I was with a girl that had similar issues, we were together 6 months, but she couldn't handle it and ended it, leaving me heartbroken. For his sake, don't lead him on. If you're not ready, tell him that. You need to do what you need for you to feel better, his desires can't take precedens over that. I wish you all the best! Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 angelsface, We are coworkers ^^^ I didn't read any further than this. It is a big mistake to date anyone from work, it causes all sorts of problems. There might even be a company policy against it, for all you know. Link to post Share on other sites
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