Running out of stuff to talk about

[Marin24]

So I had a crush on this girl who went to the same class with me for 7 years now. We both got close to each other and we consider ourselves as a brother and sister. But yes, she is not just a "best friend/sister" for me because I feel a little more towards her and I would love to share my future with her. I did ask her a few times for a relationship which she did reject because, well, she considers herself happy being single and that she won't be looking for a boyfriend until she finishes college (we're 15 by the way). And the last time I asked her, I realized that me trying to be in a relationship with her wouldn't succeed (at least for now) so I'm trying to hold that off of me. I moved to germany last year and we didn't see each other face to face until 3 weeks ago when I decided I'd go back to my hometown to visit my grandparents, friends, and her of course! We went out and it was pretty fun, got to hug her twice and it warmed me up all of the sudden those 2 times . However we ended up in an argument right before I was supposed to go back here and we got it solved just 3 days ago. We promised each other we'd be friends forever because neither of us want to lose the other, but I've been running out of ideas and stuff to talk about lately and it kinda hurts me seeing her wanting to chat with me but not getting much of it since nothing really falls to my mind except the standard questions : How are you? How has your day been? What are you doing? And yeah I think that's damaging our friendship by a decent amount because she will probably lose the joy of chatting with me eventually. And yes, we're chatting and not having calls. I mean, sometimes we do call each other but we chat more for sure. I'm going back to my hometown in 1 month or so when the summer break here in Germany starts and I really have to make the best out of this 30 days of being in contact with her.

[sour_pikle]

you wont be friends forever. Go enjoy your summer. Let her know you want to date her and then if she's not interested ignore her. every txt every message EVERYTHING! she'll either try to make you feel bad in which case you will continue to ignore her or she will change her mind and you'll get to dater her for the summer.

 

 

Enjoy the first of many women to come buddy!

[Marin24]

Eh, the thing is, I dont even know if I'm ready to be in a relationship with her and I don't really want to give up our friendship by asking her probably for the 5th time now. For now, I just want us to be friends until later if she starts feeling more towards me as well. Thanks for taking the time to try to make me wake up of the dream world I'm living in though!

[sour_pikle]

you're 15...you better not want to be in a "relationship" hahaha. If you're running out of things to talk about its because your bored. maybe see if you can find some cute blonde girl in town that wants to go for ice cream or play video game or sit on a bench and play with figet spinners or wtv it is you kids do these days....all I know is im an old man in an office and your a young dude that should be enjoying your life not whinning about some girl who has you friend zoned and probably has 6 other guy to "chat with" too.

 

 

Go find the cutest girl in town and get her to hang out with you!!!!

[preraph]

If you don't really have anything to talk about, there really isn't any point in trying to pursue it. What's left once you don't share enough interests? Also, she's told you no already, so I've been 15 before though it has been a very long time ago, but a team of wild horses couldn't have kept me from dating a guy I was interested in. I just think you'll never get out of the friendzone.

[d0nnivain]

I think you are over thinking it. How was your day? and What's new? are standard conversation starters. I ask my husband the first Q every day.

 

You are 15. She's made her stance on relationships clear. Her priority is school. You are a good guy for respecting that.

 

While it seems impossible to think about a world without her in it because you have known her for 1/2 of your life, you have barely lived yet.

 

Do keep up the conversations but enjoy yourself too

[Marin24]

I think you are over thinking it. How was your day? and What's new? are standard conversation starters. I ask my husband the first Q every day.

 

You are 15. She's made her stance on relationships clear. Her priority is school. You are a good guy for respecting that.

 

While it seems impossible to think about a world without her in it because you have known her for 1/2 of your life, you have barely lived yet.

 

Do keep up the conversations but enjoy yourself too

 

You have a point and it actually helped me by making me look at my situation from different perspectives, thanks!

[Bastile]

I won't get into your relationship status with the girl. I'll explain about conversing with her instead.

 

Don't settle for "how is your day?" mediocrity. You settle for mediocrity in one area, and it'll infest the others... like a disease. It's complacent, and your nature is telling you that something is off. Time to learn something and improve how you express yourself, no?

 

My first recommendation is that you read books. Always be reading something. I'm a typically slow reader that goes over things again and again. Make it a certain amount of pages each day or something like that. Books give you inspiration, and so many different ideas to use and play off of. It's food for your brain.

 

My second recommendation is that you develop some real thoughts about the world. This is difficult at 15, but now would be a good time to start. Be unique. Be a wolf, not just one of the unthinking sheep that follow the herd. Take influences from a myriad of places and create a value system of your own making.

 

Reason I say this is because it helps you to feel mentally inspired a lot of the time. Constantly putting your brain into a challenging and creative mode. You want to express yourself in that scenario - rather than switch off.

 

You use this as value.

 

With expressing yourself over messaging, I could type up a 20 page thread at nearly midnight. So, I'll add a few creative things to get your mind working. Creativity is always important. Just a few things based on what I've done:

 

- Always start low investment. Start out poking her with a stick. Always be aware of the investment levels in the messaging - of how much she is into it.

 

- Wind her up. Women love being teased and made fun of in a silly way (not in a mean spirited way!).

 

Therefore, based on what I just said, your next message rather than being: "how was your day?", becomes "Oi! Polish woman! What are you up to?", or "I read something about your hometown today... it surprised me"

 

- Offer her a window into your mind. Share an idea or thought with her and talk about it. Start off low-investment, and build on it.

 

So "how was your day?", becomes "this is how my day is", or "this is what I think about x, y, z". Be a bit more narcissistic in order to draw the girl into your thoughts and experience.

 

It's quite good to use for an opening message something like "I'm sitting out in the sun, but reading Dostoevsky like a geek. Best of both worlds ."

 

I think you get the point. Settle for mediocrity, and the ship is going down. I've had two relationships where the girl left England to travel somewhere else in Europe (Italy and Poland respectively) where I relied only on messaging for a time, so I understand your situation. But I was never bored. If it's boring, that's your fault for not trying hard enough.

 

I'll leave you with a quote:

 

"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself."

 

Regardless of your relationship with this girl, you can start practicing good habits with her here and now. Will pay off in the future with others.

 

All the best

Edited June 28, 2017 by Bastile

[Marin24]

I won't get into your relationship status with the girl. I'll explain about conversing with her instead.

 

Don't settle for "how is your day?" mediocrity. You settle for mediocrity in one area, and it'll infest the others... like a disease. It's complacent, and your nature is telling you that something is off. Time to learn something and improve how you express yourself, no?

 

My first recommendation is that you read books. Always be reading something. I'm a typically slow reader that goes over things again and again. Make it a certain amount of pages each day or something like that. Books give you inspiration, and so many different ideas to use and play off of. It's food for your brain.

 

My second recommendation is that you develop some real thoughts about the world. This is difficult at 15, but now would be a good time to start. Be unique. Be a wolf, not just one of the unthinking sheep that follow the herd. Take influences from a myriad of places and create a value system of your own making.

 

Reason I say this is because it helps you to feel mentally inspired a lot of the time. Constantly putting your brain into a challenging and creative mode. You want to express yourself in that scenario - rather than switch off.

 

You use this as value.

 

With expressing yourself over messaging, I could type up a 20 page thread at nearly midnight. So, I'll add a few creative things to get your mind working. Creativity is always important. Just a few things based on what I've done:

 

- Always start low investment. Start out poking her with a stick. Always be aware of the investment levels in the messaging - of how much she is into it.

 

- Wind her up. Women love being teased and made fun of in a silly way (not in a mean spirited way!).

 

Therefore, based on what I just said, your next message rather than being: "how was your day?", becomes "Oi! Polish woman! What are you up to?", or "I read something about your hometown today... it surprised me"

 

- Offer her a window into your mind. Share an idea or thought with her and talk about it. Start off low-investment, and build on it.

 

So "how was your day?", becomes "this is how my day is", or "this is what I think about x, y, z". Be a bit more narcissistic in order to draw the girl into your thoughts and experience.

 

It's quite good to use for an opening message something like "I'm sitting out in the sun, but reading Dostoevsky like a geek. Best of both worlds ."

 

I think you get the point. Settle for mediocrity, and the ship is going down. I've had two relationships where the girl left England to travel somewhere else in Europe (Italy and Poland respectively) where I relied only on messaging for a time, so I understand your situation. But I was never bored. If it's boring, that's your fault for not trying hard enough.

 

I'll leave you with a quote:

 

"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself."

 

Regardless of your relationship with this girl, you can start practicing good habits with her here and now. Will pay off in the future with others.

 

All the best

 

Well that was probably the most helpful reply I got here, thanks mate!