What do I do about how I feel about boyfriend's Facebook?

[es96286]

I have no idea where to start. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. I just have no one to talk to about this but I need some advice... So he lied to me about adding a girl today on his Facebook. It was right there on his recent friends list.. I feel crazy for acting so crazy about his Facebook and always stalking it- but why does he need to be adding a girl from California named Chantel whose single? She had her boobs all hanging out in majority of her photos! It just disgusts me! When I told him about it he said he didn't add anybody and deleted her as a friend so when I went to go prove myself I looked like a fool. It just confuses me, like I thought we were going to start being truthful. I understand I've lied in the past and cheated and so has he but I thought we were going to change things? Another thing I've noticed is he's been playing with himself every night/morning and I don't know what that's all about- but for some reason it makes me feel horrible and makes me wonder what or who he's thinking about when he does this... He always has all these half naked or naked chicks trying to add him and I don't know why! I've never seen or heard of any of my other guy friends or ex boyfriends getting these types of friend requests every day- unless that's what they want or attract for some reason! I just can't settle with it or manage it. I can't talk to him about it obviously because he denies everything! I just don't know what to do. It makes me feel like I'm not enough. I want to let go but I've come so far and I feel like I just can't throw 3 years away. Does anyone know what to do to help me or help us?

[Knix]

Realistically, he wasn't going to say "Oh yeah she has nice boobs and shes hot so I added her". He got caught so he tried to cover it up. Guys can be dumb. Has he done anything else to make you think he wants to cheat?

 

 

 

 

 

 

In my opinion, it's okay to look but not touch. If he was hitting on her and sexting her it's one thing, but if he just added a pretty girl on facebook, pick your battles.

 

 

 

 

You also have to be confident enough in yourself to know that you're a good catch. If this is bothering you a lot, move on.

[preraph]

Most of those half naked chicks aggressively trying to "friend" him are 40 year old dudes running an escort service. He's obviously open to that and yes probably masturbating to them. He doesn't sound like much of a catch or anyone who is very focused on you or wants commitment, so not sure why you're hanging in there.

[anika99]

I don't see a good outcome for this relationship. You have cheated on him and he has cheated on you. It takes a lot of hard work to make a healthy relationship after cheating has occurred. Just go read on the infidelity board. The people who are reconciling don't just say we said we were going to change and voila! We changed! Nope, doesn't work that way. People who want to change after cheating go to counselling, both personal and couples therapy. They read books, they dig deep within themselves to discover what led them to cheat and what they need to change to avoid cheating again. They become totally transparent and honest with their partner.

 

I don't get the impression that you and your boyfriend have done the work required, especially not your boyfriend since he is obviously still lying. Not much point in being in a relationship that is so fractured and where one or both people are not willing to change.