Shall i continue this or leave?

[johnsmith35]

Well me and this girl met online since nearly 11 months now, im 20 and she's 19, we live far away from each other, she have a bf and im single

 

at first i wanted to stay friends and have a normal friendship with her but by the time we began getting more attached to each other, we text the whole day, she says she like being with me and she never get bored of me, she send me gifts through mail and like she seriously so sweet with me

 

and after like 4 months we confessed we are in love with each other, she said she's surprised that after all these years she fell in love with another guy than her bf, she say i made a spell on her heart (quoting her ofc)

 

she legit like love me so freaking bad she said she'll do anything for me, in addition to how we flirt and how much she wanna make out with me and ofc she hide that from her bf, but she dont wanna get it sexual cause its only for her bf as it seems idk why seriously,even thought she said she thought of having sex with me once,

 

and on top of that she stayed committed to her bf for 4 years till i came she dont seem like the girl who'd be cheating on her bf, but when she met me she said she feel different

 

but after all she still love her bf so much and love me too, i never talked about if she would rather choose me or her bf so i was wondering

 

shall i ask her that and see where it goes? or just back off and its obvious that she's just using me or leading me on, cause idk how she says she love me but stays with her bf, all that talk and feels and she seem serious about it and im really confused

 

what shall i do about all this? im beginning to even feel so jealous of her bf and even she says she's jealous of all my female friends, and clearly i can see that

 

please lend me your knowledge~

[preraph]

It just sounds like she's not really serious about either of you because she's just having fun with both of you. I think that's because she's pretty young, you know? Not ready to be serious.

 

Well, I see she's long distance, so I don't see how you can ever be together anyway, and it truly is different in person than online.

 

I just think you can do whatever you want about her, but realize you're never going to be together anyway, right? Unless you failed to tell us something. And then the main thing is you need to get off the computer and smartphone and just go out into the real world and find a real live girlfriend right there where you live! This is no time to hole up and be on the smartphone. These are the years you can easily meet people and make friends in real life, so go do it and don't waste these years!@!@!

[johnsmith35]

It just sounds like she's not really serious about either of you because she's just having fun with both of you. I think that's because she's pretty young, you know? Not ready to be serious.

 

Well, I see she's long distance, so I don't see how you can ever be together anyway, and it truly is different in person than online.

 

I just think you can do whatever you want about her, but realize you're never going to be together anyway, right? Unless you failed to tell us something. And then the main thing is you need to get off the computer and smartphone and just go out into the real world and find a real live girlfriend right there where you live! This is no time to hole up and be on the smartphone. These are the years you can easily meet people and make friends in real life, so go do it and don't waste these years!@!@!

i dont even support ldrs at the first place, and i wasnt even wanna go online and hook up with a girl, it was a friendship and it develop more idk how

 

about the future thing i thought of it actually, there is a high chance i can move with her and stuff

 

and if she's not serious so she's a cheater and a girl that i should avoid?

[preraph]

Well, I mean, she IS talking to you and flirty with her supposedly having a boyfriend already, so this is why I say I can't tell if she's a cheater type but at her age, which is very young to try to be committed, I feel she is, yes, going to be multidating, but maybe her bf knows she talks to other guys, I do not know. But YOU know she does. So you know if you did some way end up with her, she will probably keep talking to guys at least online. I just think she is too young to be all that serious and about talking to only one man.

 

The thing about you moving to her is it is all your expense, it is all your hard work, it is you making this huge change and you have zero guarantee that things will even work out or that once you meet, she will be interested in romance with you or not (that feeling is either there or not and you don't always know until you're face to face across a table).

 

Are you already doing skype or face messaging when you talk? If not, that is the first step. You need to see each other in action to get a better idea of the real personality. So I would say as a first step, if you haven't already done so, do Skype or Facetime. See how that goes. If you have already been doing that, then the next step is meeting her somewhere in real life and it not being ALL your expense and all your effort. In other words, if you do all the work, she has nothing to lose. I want you to see if SHE is willing to go to some trouble and planning and expense to meet you as well. If not, this is just more one-way and she isn't that serious at all and is just having fun.

[johnsmith35]

Well, I mean, she IS talking to you and flirty with her supposedly having a boyfriend already, so this is why I say I can't tell if she's a cheater type but at her age, which is very young to try to be committed, I feel she is, yes, going to be multidating, but maybe her bf knows she talks to other guys, I do not know. But YOU know she does. So you know if you did some way end up with her, she will probably keep talking to guys at least online. I just think she is too young to be all that serious and about talking to only one man.

 

The thing about you moving to her is it is all your expense, it is all your hard work, it is you making this huge change and you have zero guarantee that things will even work out or that once you meet, she will be interested in romance with you or not (that feeling is either there or not and you don't always know until you're face to face across a table).

 

Are you already doing skype or face messaging when you talk? If not, that is the first step. You need to see each other in action to get a better idea of the real personality. So I would say as a first step, if you haven't already done so, do Skype or Facetime. See how that goes. If you have already been doing that, then the next step is meeting her somewhere in real life and it not being ALL your expense and all your effort. In other words, if you do all the work, she has nothing to lose. I want you to see if SHE is willing to go to some trouble and planning and expense to meet you as well. If not, this is just more one-way and she isn't that serious at all and is just having fun.

we talked on skype yeah a lot and i said im gonna meet her and stuff and she talk to other guys but she dont flirt, she be affectionate as she says so but she dont go overboard and her bf know that

 

but idk seriously the thing here is not when we hook up, its like will we ever do? i feel she is just so happy with her bf i sometimes think there is no way of this love thing to workout, and sometimes i think there is a chance, i know her so so much she's not the type to hide stuff

 

i wanna know her true intentions, im getting so many mixed signals, i have a good feeling im getting used legit

[preraph]

I just don't think she's serious. I think she has a boyfriend. I don't think if you go there, she's going to get rid of him and be your girlfriend. I think you'd go there, spend a lot of money taking her out, and she'd say you're just friends OR that she already has a boyfriend, which you already know.

 

I wouldn't do one single thing unless she tells you she broke up with her boyfriend. Even then, I wouldn't spend money going to meet her unless she was also spending money to meet. And even then, that doesn't mean she'll hook up. Keep in mind she could also just be telling you she has a boyfriend so you don't get carried away because she isn't serious.

 

Your money would be better spent close to home with a girl from your area, I know that for sure.

[johnsmith35]

I just don't think she's serious. I think she has a boyfriend. I don't think if you go there, she's going to get rid of him and be your girlfriend. I think you'd go there, spend a lot of money taking her out, and she'd say you're just friends OR that she already has a boyfriend, which you already know.

 

I wouldn't do one single thing unless she tells you she broke up with her boyfriend. Even then, I wouldn't spend money going to meet her unless she was also spending money to meet. And even then, that doesn't mean she'll hook up. Keep in mind she could also just be telling you she has a boyfriend so you don't get carried away because she isn't serious.

 

Your money would be better spent close to home with a girl from your area, I know that for sure.

Think im just gonna stop talking to her, and forget her, shouldn't have acted on my feels and go beyond the friendship limit, if we stayed like friends without all this drama would be really better, this feels like a pain now knowing i love a girl that i wont ever get, and staying friends just a struggle. I should've just talked to her about that from the start before things advance to this way

[preraph]

Well, you will forget about her one of these days when you meet the right girl right there where you live, so get out and do things and pick up new activities and meet someone soon, and even if you don't having activities will keep you interested in life and interesting to others. Good luck.

[misspalmy]

leave b4 you get hurt, if you want someone its a turn off if they have a chick they playing with