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Does he just not care?


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wkngdrm0118

About six months ago, I met this man from a dating website in person for the first time and the connection was instantaneous. We dated for about two months and then he said he didn't see us getting into a relationship, but that he still wanted to be friends. I agreed to this (probably not the best idea) and we continued on like nothing had changed between us. We were physically affectionate, but not intimate. Our level of comfort with each other from the very beginning is something I have never experienced before in my 33 years. I know he felt the connection as well and it has always been difficult for him to leave when we spend time together.

 

Then after about another month or so, he started becoming very distant. He stopped initiating contact with me and took days to answer text messages. But he continued to say yes to spending time with me and we saw each other once a week or once every other week. Then the time period between us spending time together grew longer and I felt like he wanted to be done with me but that he just wasn't telling me.

 

A few weeks ago I started realizing this wasn't working for me anymore, so I told him I was ending us hanging out since that was what it seemed like he wanted. He came back with apologies for being slow to answer text messages, told me he wished I wouldn't get angry at him and that he never meant to hurt me. Then he eagerly made plans with me to see a movie that same night. He showed up looking like we were on a date (wearing the exact same outfit he wore the very first time I met him!) and acted like he hadn't seen me in forever. (It had been a month).

 

We had a really good time (as we always do), but then about a week later I realized that I had reached a turning point. So I told him that I can't handle just being his friend and he said "Ok. If you can't, I understand. Thank you for spending time with me and hanging out." Since he was so polite, I responded to him and told him that I'd still like to communicate with him from time to time, if that's okay with him.

 

I got no response to that, so I take it he's not interested in doing that anymore. I guess I'm just wondering how he could let me go so easily....

 

Did I hurt him or does he just not care?

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You want to date him. He only wants to be friends with you. When you said friends wasn't enough for you anymore, he did the honorable thing & let you go. He let go because he does care, to an extent. He didn't want to continue hurting you. You wanted him to fight for you but he was wise not to do that because he knows only giving you friendship & not the romance you want is painful.

 

 

Let him go.

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