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Met my former fwb


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Hey.

When I was single, I had a friend with benefits for about three years. The benefits thing was great, but we were also really good friends. Now I hadn't seen him for over a year. I got into a relationship which is still lasting and great. But our communication with my fwb ended for some reason.

I met him again about two months ago for drinks and it was awesome. He had been in a relationship too but the girl left him and he's still hurting somewhat. We met for drinks again yesterday. (And yes, my boyfriend knows and he's okay with this). It was good until he saw some of his friends. They came to sit with us and there was a girl who was really drunk and it seemed she is not that social when sober. My friend started to talk to her and told her she looks like his ex gf and she even had the same name. In 20 minutes they had already made an agreement to go **** after the bar. He didn't talk to me at all anymore besides saying to me it was a great night and when do we meet again. To be fair, I had said a little bit before that I might leave in an hour or two, but I wasn't going to leave yet.

I left quite soon though. I had and am still having very mixed feelings and I don't really know what to think.

I don't know if I have any right to feel this disappointment. Yeah, of course the fact that he flirted with her next to me, stung a little bit. But I have no right to say or do anything about that. I am in a relationship myself so of course he can do whatever he feels like and go home with whoever he wants with. I feel more disappointed for the fact that he just ended our night like this. I mean, we went out to hang together and talk, but then all of a sudden he just forgot that I was there.

So yeah. I don't know. The next time we talk, do I even have the right to say anything about it? Do I have the right to feel disappointed or should I just be fine with this?

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He showed you exactly who he is and where his priorities lie.

You thought you were meeting a "special" friend to catch up. BUT he was not willing to let an opportunity for some sex pass him by, so you were quickly relegated to "acquaintance" level and then he forgot you were even there

 

He is not actually your "friend" at all, just some guy you had an arrangement for sex with a while ago.

Had you been single and/or "up for it" that night, I guess you would have received more attention, perhaps...

 

Forget him, he is not worth upsetting your bf for.

YOUR bf may have been "cool" about you meeting up with this FWB guy, but no doubt, if he really cares for you, he would have been in hell, every second you were out with this guy...

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Why do you need to hang out with a former FWB? The fact that you're affected sounds like you're emotionally attached in some way. He's not your friend -- he's a guy you had a sex arrangement with. He was likely there hoping to get an opportunity to sleep with you again but since an easy option presented itself, he chucked you.

 

I'm not sure what your boyfriend is thinking. Any man truly invested in a woman isn't going to be "cool" with his girlfriend hanging out with a man she used to have sex with. Something doesn't sound right.

 

You have a relationship. That should be your focus. Not trying to obtain validation from a former FWB. And no, he's not your friend -- not in the true sense of the word.

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Sounds to me like he was hoping to have sex with you, especially if you say that you didn't hear anything from him and now his previous relationship ended you are back in touch (of course I don't know the whole story so I could be completely wrong)

 

Another thing: No boyfriend is ok with his girlfriend going for drinks with a guy she was fwb with for 3 years. Especially if there is alcohol involved. Could be he said that because he didn't want to come over as jealous.

 

Finally: I think you need to ask yourself why you care so much about this. Did you ever have feelings for this guy?

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