Asking out a barista?

[Rudytwo]

I commute to work every day by train and I have a huge crush on a lady who works at a coffee stand at the station. She works in the mornings so I see her every day, and she always serves me. I realise of course that it's her job to be smiley and friendly to customers, but we do have chemistry and I would love to ask her out to get to know her better. The problem is its always busy when I see her and I don't want to be unfair and put her on the spot by asking her out in front of her colleagues and other customers. Has anyone been on either end of this situation or have any advice on what I could do?

She told me it's her birthday soon so I was thinking about possibly getting her a card with a note inside asking her and with my number, so she can read it and decide in het own time to avoid making things uncomfortable while she's working. I don't want to be too forward or this to be too much/creepy etc but not sure what else I can do in this situation. What do you think? Thanks!

[Titanll]

One of three things will probably happen:

 

She will be totally creeped out.

 

She will think it's sweet and nothing more.

 

She will thank you for having finally found the courage to ask her out.

 

Me, I would say "hey, we should have dinner sometime". But the card isn't a bad idea...

[d0nnivain]

Before you get her this card, ask something designed to ferret out her dating status, like "Do you bring home coffee samples to your BF?" If she doesn't have a BF, it would be OK to give her the card, but it would be a bit odd. Do not write a note in it. 7th grade is over. Instead, on the day of her birthday wish her a happy birthday & then ask if you an take her out for a drink (pick the next Friday following the birthday) to celebrate. Pick a location close to that train station & mention what time you get back in the evening, as in:

 

"Happy Birthday! I'd love to take you out for a drink on Friday to celebrate."

 

Assuming she reacts favorably, you say, "Great! How's the Trackside [insert name of nearest bar]? I usually take the 5:19, which puts me back here around 6:10. How's 6:30?"

 

Good luck.

[preraph]

Bring a Black sharpie with you next time. You know how they write your name on the cup? Two can play at that game. Write your name and number on the cup and hand it back to her holding that in her direction to be sure she sees it. That way it shouldn't look suspicious. You might ask for a refill if they use the same cup.

[SevenCity]

I've held up a whole line asking a girl out who worked the register. I don't care if people don't like it - tough cookies. Don't write notes and don't ask her if she's single. There may be a guy she's not crazy about and going to dump.

 

Be a man and ask her out point blank. If she likes you she'll say yes, if not she'll give you some excuse.

 

If she says yes, great. Setup a definite time and place (not maybe sometime if it pleases your highness).

 

If she says no, no big deal. You are a man and went for what you wanted.

 

I remember the times I've been shot down fondly. It's the times I never tried that haunt me.

 

Go for it. That's what a man does. Even if she says no she'll respect you more for having balls.

 

One girl I asked out working the register seemed to have given me a bum number (or I took it down wrong - bit of a language barrier). Anyway, I see her again last weekend after many months of her not working there (this time with my new gf) and she couldn't stop smiling at me asking me how I've been. Regardless if she wants me or not she respects me because I handled it like a man.

 

If she does shoot you down never let any disappointment show. Be happy you took a chance.

[basil67]

It's good that you are going to take a chance on this. But do be aware that she would get asked out by customers on a regular basis.

[Fresnite]

Im a guy and a barista, I've been hit on by chicks and Ive hit on chicks.

 

EVERYONE is different in this world, each last person is unique. You never know what they like or dislike if you don't try or ask.

 

Just go for it bro, the card may be creepy. Id just ask straight up. If you are unsure of her relationship status, you can imply her using her employee discount on getting coffee for her bf. Obviously use more finesse and be you when saying it.

 

Women love courage and even though it may be putting her on the spot, you are putting yourself in the direct spotlight. You are a regular there, asking in front of other employees who I'm sure remember you and also other customers who are most likely complete strangers.

 

That takes courage. Do it bro, life is too short and you only live once. Awesome things have come from weird or "different" situations.

 

Good luck!

[caveman621]

I'll give you the same advice I've given others on here, as a wise? old man. I regret things I have NOT done more than things I have done. So ask her out in whatever way you think is best. If she says no, what is lost? If you never ask her you'll never know.

 

good luck!

[AJ27k]

Its worth a shot, you only live once. Just be prepared for her to be in a relationship or to kindly reject your offer. Don't go into this feeling like you'll get the reaction you want. It may work and there really is no harm in asking. Otherwise you'll think back to this and always wonder what would have happened if you asked her. With woman and dating, you've got to keep trying, the more swings you take, the better chances you'll connect with one.

 

If it was me, I'd probably want to do is discretely, just for her sake in front of co-workers. As someone suggested, the writing the name/number and a quick want to grab a drink/coffee sometime is perfect on the coffee cup. If she is interested, she'll respond. If not or she is taken, she may respond and let you know or just ignore it.