Man and lesbian

[Qynnhaley]

Ok, so.. I am a straight male and have had a long term friendship with a girl who happens to be gay. Her and I clicked from the beginning as friends, and we have many of the same traits as the other. We are both awkward, somewhat antisocial, and have a lot of the same views. We get along so well because we share many of the same traits and know we can hang out without any type of judgement or anything similar. We've always gotten along perfectly and have text/Snapchat/Facebook constantly for the past two years. She was always in a relationship with a girl throughout our whole friendship which provided me with no feelings or emotions towards her other than being one of my best friends and she has never been with a guy. One night we both had.. many.. drinks and we ended up sleeping together. I later asked her how she felt about it and said how great it was and I overheard her talking to friends saying the same. This is where the problem comes in.

 

I have never told her, but after I realized I do like her and have feelings for her. I have too much respect for her and her values on being gay to say anything different but ever since then she has been acting weird. Our conversations are now short with no substance.. and I can tell she is now trying to avoid me or distance herself from me. Something I have not experienced our whole friendship. I have tried talking to her about it and she just seems confused. She's going through a lot with the breakup, moving, and her own emotions.. and the last thing I want to do is give her more to think about and/or end our friendship by being weird about it. If there is anyone here that can help me understand what she's thinking or if I have done something wrong, please let me know. I like this girl a lot, but also understand that there is a good chance that she simply isn't into me because I'm a man or other factors and I don't want to ruin the closeness as friends that we have. I know there's a good chance that it was just a thing that happened in the heat of the moment and I would absolutely continue just being her best friend if she doesn't feel the same way I do. Do I back off and go back to being her friend? Do I wait it out and see what happens? Do I pursue her? I suppose I'm more interested in what is going through her head and what she is thinking..

[contel3]

You did absolutely nothing wrong. However I would not try to pursue her. A lot of lesbians do enjoy having sex with a man, which doesn't mean they actually fall in love with them.

 

For now I would assume she really is into girls and let this one go. If she does change her mind she'll have to do it in her own time or she's most probably going to resent you for it.

[Sara1989]

You did absolutely nothing wrong. However I would not try to pursue her. A lot of lesbians do enjoy having sex with a man, which doesn't mean they actually fall in love with them.

 

For now I would assume she really is into girls and let this one go. If she does change her mind she'll have to do it in her own time or she's most probably going to resent you for it.

 

No she is not a lesbian if she enjoys and has sex with men.

 

She is likely v confused, she has labeled herself one way but now shes thinking, what am i?

 

I think you need to give her some space and then try and talk about what happened, just to clear the air. She may be bisexual..

[Jj66]

Some lesbians apparently do occasionally enjoy sex with men.

 

One night I went to a bar about 10pm and ended up drinking with a lesbian acquaintamce until the bar closed at midnight. She and her wife invited me to her place to drink some more. When I got there my acquaintance straight up asked me if I would have sex with her wife. She said her wife was lesbian but used to be straight a long time ago and she occasionally misses "dick" and that was something she couldn't give her. I did the deed while she mostly watched. She'd occasionally leave the room and occasionally come in to help. After we were done and she went to get us drinks I made the mistake of cuddling with her wife. She didn't mind at all me having my dick inside her wife but it looked like it bothered her a lot to see her wife's head on my chest. I think she/they might have decided to avoid me after that because I have never run into them again and I used to run into them once a month or so.

[Popsicle]

99% of lesbians have had sex with men (and may do so. They still consider themselves lesbian.

[Miss Peach]

I've gone on dates with a few lesbians. Some have told me they dated guys to appear normal for some point in their lives. Other have told me they knew they liked women at a young age and others told me they didn't figure it out until they were older. So I think there is some truth that many lesbians have had men at some point (but I know a few that haven't).

 

Another thing I've run into is that a lot of lesbians seem to not like bi-sexual women. I've had some lesbians not case about this but many have. So it would also be some issue with her questioning her identity and the labels she's given herself if she had sex with the OP. Or that some lesbians seem to think women are better, cleaner, etc. and that they don't like it when other women are around 'dick'.

[Titanll]

You slept with your friend is the only thing that I think that you did wrong.

[Qynnhaley]

 

Another thing I've run into is that a lot of lesbians seem to not like bi-sexual women. I've had some lesbians not case about this but many have. So it would also be some issue with her questioning her identity and the labels she's given herself if she had sex with the OP. Or that some lesbians seem to think women are better, cleaner, etc. and that they don't like it when other women are around 'dick'.

 

 

I've never thought about Some of these points but the labelling makes a lot of sense. She has always identified herself as the "gay girl" and is very proud of the fact. I can see how that would be a very delicate and confusing thing for her.

[preraph]

Who made the first move? If it was you, she may have liked you too much to hurt your feelings and reject you and say no, which would explain her being standoffish now that she has had a chance to digest what happened.

 

If it was her, she probably IS confused. I would make clear how you feel if she initiated. Just so she knows. The damage is already done if it's not something she wanted and if it is something she wanted, she needs to know you would like her that way.

[Sara1989]

Some lesbians apparently do occasionally enjoy sex with men.

 

One night I went to a bar about 10pm and ended up drinking with a lesbian acquaintamce until the bar closed at midnight. She and her wife invited me to her place to drink some more. When I got there my acquaintance straight up asked me if I would have sex with her wife. She said her wife was lesbian but used to be straight a long time ago and she occasionally misses "dick" and that was something she couldn't give her. I did the deed while she mostly watched. She'd occasionally leave the room and occasionally come in to help. After we were done and she went to get us drinks I made the mistake of cuddling with her wife. She didn't mind at all me having my dick inside her wife but it looked like it bothered her a lot to see her wife's head on my chest. I think she/they might have decided to avoid me after that because I have never run into them again and I used to run into them once a month or so.

 

Um its obvious the woman you had sex with was bisexual while her wife who was not involved is a lesbian. A real lesbian does not enjoy or want sex with a man.