GardenGirl17 Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 (edited) I live with a guy who I slept with for about two years. Haven't though now for a couple of months because he knows I'm in love with him. He often says he will stay with me forever but is never actually able to commit to anything as in an actual relationship. Recently this 24 year old started working where we work ( we work at the same company) She winked at him and that started his interest , and then on the weekend in front of me left large hints to him that she had no one to go to the movies with. He didn't take her up on it and later told me it was my fault because he felt like he couldn't go because of me. I'm so sick of these middle aged men who think some pretentious 24 yr old is going to make him happy in the long run. I can't even stand her voice. He is 47. He doesn't have money or assets But he in his mid life crisis hs told me he wants to shag as many women as possible. So far he hasn't and I know that because we haven't spent ANY time apart in 2 yrs. But I feel like it's coming. He is just so contradictory because sometimes He says he wants to marry me and Move to the country together on a farm and then he says comments about this idiot girl at work - the 24-year-old I got really upset on the weekend and told him how I feel about him, love him and really got angry about this girl. I just want to ask how do I cope with this how do I switch off and not be hurt by this if he does end up with her ? I really promised myself I'd never get hurt again and here I am. Edited May 16, 2017 by GardenGirl17 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 He isn't relationship material right now. Maybe never - but perhaps after his mid-life crisis is over. For now, he wants the main course (you) and dessert (her). Some people like to eat dessert first - he's in that group right now. After all, he may not get any dessert someday. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 His behaviour is easy to explain. He wants as much sex as he can get. Your behaviour -- wanting someone who treats you so badly -- it a little more difficult to explain. Have you thought about why you want a man who would do this to you? Please don't say "because I love him". He quite clearly does NOT love you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 Why don't you tell him you decide to hop on the next 24 year old Penis that you can attract. Many of these idiot men who force their spouses into either tolerating an open marriage or infidelity all of a sudden get a come to Jesus moment when the situation gets reversed . These macho men will freak out thinking of you with other men. And if not you get to get laid whoever the fancy strikes you . You can show him how easy it is for women to play that game 3 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 I live with a guy who I slept with for about two years. Haven't though now for a couple of months because he knows I'm in love with him. I'm very confused by your first sentence. You live with a guy that you slept with? What in the world does that mean? Is he your boyfriend or is he a roommate? If he's your boyfriend then why would you stop having sex with him because he knows your in love with him? That makes no sense. If he is not your boyfriend and you are not sleeping with him then he is free to do whatever he wants with whomever he wants. You may not agree with his choices but if you're not his girlfriend then he does not have to please you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 Why are you putting up with this in your life at all, for even one moment? Do you have absolutely zero self esteem? You live with him, he tells you he wants to marry you, but then in the next breath he wants to sleep with as many barely out of college women as possible... i can't believe his boldness, and I can't believe how you can put up with it. I highly doubt he hasn't cheated on you at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 He's her insurance, but he just wants her available in case he can't get anyone else to sleep around with. This is a very silly situation. This man isn't in love with you because he doesn't know what love is at all. He isn't capable of love. He is in love with sex, and that is it. Surely you would be better off with your own place and let this middle aged idiot flounder all by himself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 I just want to ask how do I cope with this .... Move out and then move on. Forget about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 While I commend your honesty and bravery to post this, why would you subject yourself to this nonsense from this guy? I swear there are islands somewhere with only two people on them and one is always posting here. Find another guy, OP. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 ^^ Brilliant. Link to post Share on other sites
NotASkunk Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 It's pretty remarkable how many marginally employed men who are significantly older, say 50+, who aspire to meet a 20-year-old woman to get their rocks off. And there's nothing wrong with that, except they are delusional in thinking that it's something that might become something long-lasting and satisfying. Even if you have money, when your self-esteem take a hit knowing that a woman's just being with you because of your money? Old men who are hitting on women who are 30 years younger than them are sad and pathetic. Do yourself a favor and move on. This man does not have any interest in your emotional security. Take care of yourself. All the best Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 I am a mid 40's guy who has also started having more relations with younger women. Perhaps I can share my honest perspective and it will help. I may have something in common with your guy. Starting at about 40, I could not stand women near my own age. Its not that they are not pretty. Late 30's early 40's women can be absolutely gorgeous. It is something else that drives me away. A young woman does not have a lot of expectations. She is seeking to experience new things and is just enjoying life. One of the phases of a young woman's life is the phase were she "dates older men". These relationships are not designed to last. In fact, it is expected and ok that they fail eventually. It just means that relationship has run its course and its time to have an adventure with some one else. Some older guys really put all their eggs into the relationship basket.This is sad because these guys could be enjoying life. A lot of the time its because they are coming out of long marriages were they have been completely domesticated. So a LTR lifestyle is all they know. The domesticated long term relationship is not compatible with the young woman looking for experiences with an older man..most of the time. So what I am finding is that women who are in the late 30's early 40's are sometimes in a mad rush to find a man suitable for a family. That means babies, houses, money, redirection of my entire life = A GIANT NO THANK YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 There does seem to be an awful lot of young girls falling for guys in their 40s, 50s and even 60s. We've seen it on here. I don't remember that many women when I was young who wanted to date older men. I don't know if today's younger women have a lot of daddy issues, didn't grow up with a dad, young guys aren't taking them out on real dates or the competition for good looking young men is too steep; or just what the problem is. Link to post Share on other sites
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