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My FWB wanted to take the condom off and now I wanna end it...


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In brief, I know this man for a few years from a prior job. He first tried to get my number but I had a boyfriend so i rejected him. Again, he tried and again I rejected.

 

I then became single and gave him a chance. I always thought he was cute. So, we go on a 1st date and he dumps his whole life story on me: How he served 2 years in jail, grew up in foster homes, child out of wedlock, cheated on his child's mother,etc. This was overwhelming and I declined a second date. I am not perfect but I had a vastly different upbringing, 2 parent married household, college degree, no kids,etc.

 

Fast forward, haven't had sex in awhile and he was convenient, and I knew him. We have had sex only twice now with a condom. But today, he asked if he could remove condom and he promised not to cum in me. I said, "NO"

 

Later on, he shows me a pic of a woman and asked me if I thought she was pretty. It's like wtf do I care? It seems he was trying to brag or make me jealous. He then shows me another girl and says how she wants him but then he says, "Oh, I didn't **** her." Then he talks about how a former co-worker who I knew gave him a bj. Again, why does he feel the need to tell me?

Then he admits to me that he is trying to get back with his girlfriend for a year who ended things after she found out he was cheating on her. I told him if he gets back with his ex, to let me know since I don't want to be involved with a man who is in a relationship or having sex with someone else. He said, "Ok, I will" but then later said, "I don't think we are getting back together."

 

Also, he came in my mouth after I told him not too. This pisses me off. Now, I don't mind a guy coming in my mouth if he is my boyfriend but for some dude I am just casual with, no way.

 

This is my first FWB by the way and I don't think it's for me, or maybe this particular FWB isn't for me...

For one, he appears to be having sex with other women and I am not trying to catch STD'S. I am not a promiscuous person and only slept with 3 men including him. Also, him not respecting my wish today turns me off. Also, him bragging about other women is disrespectful and a major turn off.

 

I wanna end it cold turkey meaning just delete his number and keep it moving. My friend said because I had sex with him, and because he shared intimate details of his life I should tell him face to face, "It was fun while it lasted but I am looking for a guy that has the characteristics I like." I disagree because this isn't anything serious and I don't owe him an explanation.

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Simple Logic
In brief, I know this man for a few years from a prior job. He first tried to get my number but I had a boyfriend so i rejected him. Again, he tried and again I rejected.

 

I then became single and gave him a chance. I always thought he was cute. So, we go on a 1st date and he dumps his whole life story on me: How he served 2 years in jail, grew up in foster homes, child out of wedlock, cheated on his child's mother,etc. This was overwhelming and I declined a second date. I am not perfect but I had a vastly different upbringing, 2 parent married household, college degree, no kids,etc.

 

Fast forward, haven't had sex in awhile and he was convenient, and I knew him. We have had sex only twice now with a condom. But today, he asked if he could remove condom and he promised not to cum in me. I said, "NO"

 

Later on, he shows me a pic of a woman and asked me if I thought she was pretty. It's like wtf do I care? It seems he was trying to brag or make me jealous. He then shows me another girl and says how she wants him but then he says, "Oh, I didn't **** her." Then he talks about how a former co-worker who I knew gave him a bj. Again, why does he feel the need to tell me?

Then he admits to me that he is trying to get back with his girlfriend for a year who ended things after she found out he was cheating on her. I told him if he gets back with his ex, to let me know since I don't want to be involved with a man who is in a relationship or having sex with someone else. He said, "Ok, I will" but then later said, "I don't think we are getting back together."

 

Also, he came in my mouth after I told him not too. This pisses me off. Now, I don't mind a guy coming in my mouth if he is my boyfriend but for some dude I am just casual with, no way.

 

This is my first FWB by the way and I don't think it's for me, or maybe this particular FWB isn't for me...

For one, he appears to be having sex with other women and I am not trying to catch STD'S. I am not a promiscuous person and only slept with 3 men including him. Also, him not respecting my wish today turns me off. Also, him bragging about other women is disrespectful and a major turn off.

 

I wanna end it cold turkey meaning just delete his number and keep it moving. My friend said because I had sex with him, and because he shared intimate details of his life I should tell him face to face, "It was fun while it lasted but I am looking for a guy that has the characteristics I like." I disagree because this isn't anything serious and I don't owe him an explanation.

 

In my view, the guy is a loser. No, you don't owe him anything.

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In my view, the guy is a loser. No, you don't owe him anything.

 

He is a loser. But today he showed he is a super loser, lol.

But my expectations was for this to be a stress free, fun and temporary situation. But with all these red flags, an hour of pleasure isn't worth it.

I thought he was just dealing with me which made me feel like this is something safe between 2 individuals. My health is very important to me and I am still young. I don't wanna suffer for another 30-40 years because I was reckless.

It's like if you are willing to go raw with me, then you must be willing to do with other women. Just nasty. Also, what if I get pregnant?

 

I'm actually gonna do STD testing just to ensure I didn't catch anything. I don't think I did but I just want to be sure.

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Girl, you don't owe this guy anything. He's got no sense at all on any level and he's trying to get you pregnant and I applaud you for not letting him whine his way into doing that just because it would increase his pleasure. GRRRRRRRRR.

 

He's a loser and he should be treated like one. Oh, he'll get the message just fine if you block him every way to China and get off all his social media.

 

P.S. FWBs are a dime a dozen. Always remember you're doing them a favor, not the other way around. And you deserve more than a lousy FWB!

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Girl, you don't owe this guy anything. He's got no sense at all on any level and he's trying to get you pregnant and I applaud you for not letting him whine his way into doing that just because it would increase his pleasure. GRRRRRRRRR.

 

He's a loser and he should be treated like one. Oh, he'll get the message just fine if you block him every way to China and get off all his social media.

 

P.S. FWBs are a dime a dozen. Always remember you're doing them a favor, not the other way around. And you deserve more than a lousy FWB!

 

I don't understand why he is trying to get me pregnant? His life isn't even stable and his child lives with his mother. Besides, we aren't even in a relationship. And it's like why would you want to raw dog someone who you haven't been tested with? That's just gross to me.

 

Well, this is my first and last fwb. Even though the sex was good, it felt meaningless. With my ex, we made love and it was so much more connected. So, I don't think casual relationships are for me.

 

But yes girl, he sucks! Lol

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Well, because he is THAT irresponsible that he will risk a pregnancy JUST so his penis feels better for two minutes -- which is a very VERY irresponsible man, almost incomprehensibly so, but I too have had a man whine about condom before and even take it off during. Then he was mystified why I never got alone with him ever again. This dude thinks his pleasure outweighs any consequences because he is immature and without conscience.

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Well, because he is THAT irresponsible that he will risk a pregnancy JUST so his penis feels better for two minutes -- which is a very VERY irresponsible man, almost incomprehensibly so, but I too have had a man whine about condom before and even take it off during. Then he was mystified why I never got alone with him ever again. This dude thinks his pleasure outweighs any consequences because he is immature and without conscience.

 

I guess he feels he has nothing to lose. I can't be having no babies right now, especially with a loser dude.

 

For him to ejsculate in your mouth against your wishes is revolting and dump worthy.

 

Yes, I was very upset. I told him not to cum in my mouth and he said, "I never come from heads" a few minutes later he comes and I spit his **** out. I was mad and he acted like it's no big deal. It's like what a ****ing *******. I spit it out. No respect for my boundaries.

 

I think he's insecure to be honest because I never met a man in my life who brags so much about women. I even have a cousin and acquintwnce who play the field and don't feel the need to broadcast their exploits.

 

Not making excuses for him but considering he had no maternal or paternal figure around, he doesn't know how to treat women. He's simply not boyfriend material.

 

Whats done is done but never again will I associate with someone from that background or who came from the hood.

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Oh, and I deleted and blocked him. I was hesitating simply because it's nice to have sex again, but then I thought is an hour of pleasure worth possible STD's or a pregnancy. I would never go without condoms but since he doesn't respect boundaries, who knows, one day he might say F- it and slip it off without my consent. But just as important, is him having disregard for my boundaries and a lack of respect. I can't give my body to a man like that.

 

I think I am just gonna focus on myself right now and my studies.

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Yeah, good for you. I mean, the disrespect is the worst thing because that's his foundation. He either has no respect or empathy for other people or maybe just women in general, and you can't build on that.

 

Men love all this FWB crap because you can't squeeze blood out of an onion. If you get pregnant with a loser guy, it's all on your shoulders. So if you're ever going to take that chance, at least do it with a guy who's solvent and could pay child support and was responsible enough to be a father. We women have to think about what kind of guy we're having sex with, even if we're not looking for a keeper, because accidents happen, and then you're stuck with them for life.

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Yeah this guy is a total loser my old best mate was like that he would always tell me that he never used a condom. Yeah true they are terrible to use but not that bad to risk spreading a STD or risk having a child.

 

I love what somone commented above "You are doing them a favour". Legit your a woman there is a massive pool of guys that would be thrilled to be FWB with you. So I say don't downgrade yourself and make them work for it.

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Yeah, good for you. I mean, the disrespect is the worst thing because that's his foundation. He either has no respect or empathy for other people or maybe just women in general, and you can't build on that.

 

Men love all this FWB crap because you can't squeeze blood out of an onion. If you get pregnant with a loser guy, it's all on your shoulders. So if you're ever going to take that chance, at least do it with a guy who's solvent and could pay child support and was responsible enough to be a father. We women have to think about what kind of guy we're having sex with, even if we're not looking for a keeper, because accidents happen, and then you're stuck with them for life.

 

I think he just doesn't respect women in general. I mean he cheated on all his past girlfriends. He claims to love his ex so much and wants to marry her one day. I asked him then why did you cheat on her and he said because he was tempted. Mind you his ex stayed with him even when he lost his job. I don't even think he loves her because he told me multiple times he didn't find her attractive but likes her personality. And I guess he changed tune when he lost her job, she would give him so money and he said most women wouldn't stick around, lmaooo.

So, if that's love then I don't know what to tell you.? Anyway, you're very right but I would have gotten an abortion if he got me pregnant. I don't want to make kids unless it's with a husband. But what's funny is the first time we did it. He asked me if I wanted kids. I said not really. I don't know why he even asked me.

 

anyway, I got tested like 3 days for std at my doctors office.

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Yeah this guy is a total loser my old best mate was like that he would always tell me that he never used a condom. Yeah true they are terrible to use but not that bad to risk spreading a STD or risk having a child.

 

I love what somone commented above "You are doing them a favour". Legit your a woman there is a massive pool of guys that would be thrilled to be FWB with you. So I say don't downgrade yourself and make them work for it.

Yes, he's a loser but I didn't know he was that low class. Him bragging about other women, I feel he's doing it out of insecurity. People who are confident don't have to boast. Because when I initially rejected him; he even mentioned on the date how upset he was and how I was so rude. Even when we last had sex, he mentioned it again! I think it messed up his big ego and probably partly because I'm clearly above his level so he feels he gotta make me feel I'm not special. The females who he deals with are kinda like him, have kids out of wedlock, live in the ghetto, only high school education, etc. he tried to introduce me to his roommate and I kept walking because I don't want anyone to know I was involved with him. My friends know but I want it limited lol. Anyway, not doing Fwb again. This was my first time, I think I did becsuse it's like **** it he's cute and me and my ex broke up awhile ago. Besides, I'm not trying to just keep sexing without a commitment, don't wanna make it a habit. I guess until a decent guy comes along I'll Just use my vibrator.

Yuck! Wonder how many other girls he's rawdogged. Hope he gets checked.

 

I don't even want to know. But even the first time we had sex, he mentioned he comes quicker without condom but "we aren't there yet" and second time asked to take condom off. Wtf, how does he know I'm not sleeping around or have something, neither true but what if?

 

Anyway, I got tested to be on the safe side a few days ago and expecting negative results.

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I think he just doesn't respect women in general. I mean he cheated on all his past girlfriends. He claims to love his ex so much and wants to marry her one day. I asked him then why did you cheat on her and he said because he was tempted. Mind you his ex stayed with him even when he lost his job. I don't even think he loves her because he told me multiple times he didn't find her attractive but likes her personality. And I guess he changed tune when he lost her job, she would give him so money and he said most women wouldn't stick around, lmaooo.

So, if that's love then I don't know what to tell you.? Anyway, you're very right but I would have gotten an abortion if he got me pregnant. I don't want to make kids unless it's with a husband. But what's funny is the first time we did it. He asked me if I wanted kids. I said not really. I don't know why he even asked me.

 

anyway, I got tested like 3 days for std at my doctors office.

 

He is just super irresponsible. Whatever love he's capable of has no responsibility attached to it. He just sounds like he doesn't have very good ethics or a good foundation.

 

I'm so glad you got tested! And yeah, since he is so careless, hope those tests are clear. I would never let something like this take my life in an unplanned direction and be stuck with someone who would always just be a liability. You have done everything right, IMO.

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He is just super irresponsible. Whatever love he's capable of has no responsibility attached to it. He just sounds like he doesn't have very good ethics or a good foundation.

 

I'm so glad you got tested! And yeah, since he is so careless, hope those tests are clear. I would never let something like this take my life in an unplanned direction and be stuck with someone who would always just be a liability. You have done everything right, IMO.

I got my test results today via online and everything checked out fine! :bunny:

 

I was gonna reply that he grew up in foster homes, he never knew dad and his mom died young so of course he is gonna be ****ed up. But my friend's bf had a bad upbringing too and is very sweet towards her. So, he's just a dick, ha ha.

 

I appreciate the advice, thanks!

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I got my test results today via online and everything checked out fine! :bunny:

 

I was gonna reply that he grew up in foster homes, he never knew dad and his mom died young so of course he is gonna be ****ed up. But my friend's bf had a bad upbringing too and is very sweet towards her. So, he's just a dick, ha ha.

 

I appreciate the advice, thanks!

 

Well, being a foster child, he probably didn't learn too much empathy or have very good role models. But if a person wants to, they can work on themselves. Anyway, you can't put up with someone just because they had a hard life, or you may just as well only date serial offenders in prison. It's nice to have sympathy and understand up to a point, but the truth is the most important thing is to break the cycle, and the best way to do that is to see the red flags and just run like you did.

 

Glad all is well with the test results. Whew! Now you're free to roam again. Better luck next time! There's nowhere to go but up!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Ejaculating in your mouth without your consent is actually a criminal offence. At least in my country it is.

 

Having a friend with benefit is about mutual pleasure. There's no point having sex if you're not enjoying it and he doesn't respect your boundaries. You did well to cut him off. Don't ever feel like you owe him anything.

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