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Setting up FWB


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I have to say until now I thought this wasn't really me but I've realised I know the 'perfect' guy and perhaps it's possible for me. He is very good looking, fit but quite detached and cold. To me personal warmth is very important in a relationship, it what draws me in so as he lacks it, I think the FWB thing could work for me. He is very fit, mutual attraction is there and I know him well enough for superficial conversations.

 

So before I ask him (the potential of him saying no doesn't bother me, another clue that he is suitable, I guess), I just want to make sure I have a clear idea of the rules.

There are plenty of threads on this and I know each arrangement is unique but please let me know whether you think this would work.

 

- establish frequency in advance, obviously with some flexibility but to set expectations. I'm thinking once a week.

- clear communication that as soon as one wants out, they let the other person know

- no sleepover

- initially agree on which person's house, of course this may change but to keep it within boundaries, set this up in advance too

- no dates: ie no meals out, no coffee/drinks/etc

- late night call is fine and may work at times but ideally give the other person time, just out of respect really. An FWB may not be a relationship but it doesn't mean you just click your fingers.

- same goes for flaking, have some respect for the other person's time

 

I think the above would set very clear expectations and boundaries. Is there anything else I should think of?

 

thank you as always

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You seem to have forgotten that the "F" stands for "friends." You barely know this guy, and your posting is all about the benefits part. You say that you know him well enough for superficial conversation and that your attraction to him is superficial (fit and physically attractive).

 

First become friends with him. If all you want is sex, then approach him about that. Leave the FW out of it completely, as you have until now. If you're serious about being his friend, then get to know him and do things together as friends first. Add sex later, once trust is established. If you want sex from him, without friendship, then just proposition him for sex. If you both want to repeat it, then think about rules.

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