Reality..... Sad but always a lesson

[Aethelfled86]

Here is my little story....... I've meet this guy at work about 5-6 months ago and we've instantly clicked but just friends as he has a gf and they've been together over 2 years. The whole think happened without us ever meeting face to face, just fb profile or work phone conversations.For the first 3-4 months I didn't think anything of it, just though of him as a friend. I should specify that I have a flirty personality so that might be the reason for what came next.

One Saturday evening, I got a fb text from him asking me what am I up to, I replied I'm going out with the girls and just been polite, asked him if he wants to come. Then the whole conversation turned into him asking me to come over ( gf was out with work for the weekend....) As I said, didn't think anything of it and I said I might if my girls wanna join but he said I should come on my own if they don't want to. I never went because it sounded suspicious.....but just tough he's been friendly ( definitely deluding myself).

2 weeks later I had a meeting where he works and I've said let's have coffee and actually meet for the first time.

After my meeting ended, we went for a coffee and talked about work stuff but he was taking his time to leave, I actually said it to him a few times to go back so he went eventually. The same week but weekend time, he started texting me that he really wanted to kiss me on that day when we meet and he thinks I'm gorgeous and he never expected me to be better in reality then my fb pictures ( aware that is all game talk) and he likes me and I got sucked into the conversation and it escalated a little.Realising what is going on after a 5h conversation , I ended it with saying we shouldn't behave like this because is not fair to his gf.He kept on saying that he knows but he can't help himself so we shouldn't text for a while. I agreed but that never happened. I'm aware of what I've done and I should have stopped then and there but I fell for him slowly and without realising it. I was weak .

Conversation at work, I tried my best to avoid but because we're both managers but different areas Of The company , It just happened .I kept the conversation as proffesional as possible until about 3 weeks ago. He just didn't sounded like himself for over a week so I switched back to friendly. Big mistake because it brought back my feelings for him in a flash. I should specify that his attitude changed when I was on the phone with him and I had a customer next to me and I was been flirty ( this guy is single) .His tone of voice changed and his whole attitude towards me until I became friendly again.

His gf came from another continent just to be with him and I realise the gravity of my actions but I truly did not see it coming, my feelings for him and everything. We spoke about her today for the first time and he said that she is getting suspicious about us and that we should stop texting for a while and keep it just work phone but apologising about having to do say this to me and he really hopes that I don't get upset with him and he feels ashamed having to say it to me and that is all his fault. But he started calling her names and I was not impressed with that, It showed me a whole different side of him that I don't really like.

This conversation happened after I asked him Why Was he calling me on his night out with the boys and when he was drunk.

I told him he shouldn't say things like that about the girl because she is right to be jealous, we have been flirting and if it wasn't for me saying no him everytime he said to come over, things might have been what she's thinking.

The thing is, I know how wrong this is and I know that a cheat is a cheat but it still didn't stop me from thinking about him and wanting more because he meets all my expectations in a guy, except the been single part( which ofc is the most important part).

My only way out if for me to change this job and end all conversations with him once that happens because, as long as I'm in the same company as him, It will never stop.

Is very clear that he will not ended with his gf and truth be told, I don't want him to because she seems a sweet girl, an innocent bystander.

I like him so much that I actually considered going against everything that I believe to be right and give it a try.

Now , all I can do is stay away from him as much as possible and avoid any unecesary conversations between us.

One more thing, I've never told him that I'm into him or that I think of him more then a friend and I will never do so. He's not stupid so I believe he must have realised it on his own.

[preraph]

You're thinking about it from the perspective that this is so strong on both ends that it may be the real thing.

 

 

I'm thinking about it from what we really know, which is he's cheating on his girlfriend and hoping to keep her and get you as well.

 

And if he'll do it to her like this, he will definitely do it to you first chance he gets, because this is not "the one." It's just a guy being a player. You'd never ever be able to trust him, so you should not want him and throw him back.

[j2415p44]

Hi, I’m sorry to say this but if he can cheat on his girlfriend, he might do it on you too. God will bring the right man into your life to love and be loved by. God is in control of everything.

 

Before I met my husband, I was praying that the Lord would give me a man that would show me what true love is. I was talking to a friend and she advised me that I have to date someone that I would consider marrying. Now we are married for 21 years. Praying for you that you will have a relationship that the Lord wants you to have. Thank you for sharing.

[Aethelfled86]

Thank you for that and yes, I agree, a cheater, always a cheater. Plus, you should never start a relashionship of any kind with lack of trust, never ends well.

[Aethelfled86]

I'm not thinking it from that perspective, I'm fully aware of the situation andbif someone would have asked for my advice before this happened , I would have given them the same advice that you just did. Point of this was for me to make people aware that, no matter what you think you know and you believe in, there's always something that can happen to you which you never planned or wished for and you should never judge anyone ( I was reading trough the post and the replies to some stories where just down rude).

Never say never kinda situation .I'm not going to give this a go as I'm aware of the damage that it might inflict on everyone involved and even if it does happen for him to break up with her, I'm inclined to say I'll not pursue it but again, never say never. Life will always show you otherwise.