Confusion about sleeping with a friend

[IPreferNevada]

I'm a female and have a male friend who I've been friends with for a number of years. He's an amazing friend - you know, one of those people who really cares about you - listens carefully when you talk, touches base frequently to see how you're doing, has been a sounding board for things happening in my life over the past few years, and someone who will drop literally anything to help a friend in need.

 

Yesterday he invited me over to hang out at his new apartment, and to stay over. This is our norm, as we live a little ways apart - typically about an hour apart, and find that it's safer to sleep on the other person's couch than to drive back home in the middle of the night when tired and after usually having a few drinks. This situation has never been an issue for us. We've been sleeping at each other's houses now for years with no occurrences like the one last night.

 

So last night I headed over to his place. We cooked dinner together and made a few cocktails - we each only had 3 small cocktails over a number of hours (probably like 6 hours), so it's not like we were wasted - and then played cards until it was pretty late. We set up the futon at around midnight and decided to get in our PJs and watch a movie. Long story short - we both passed out on different sides of the futon, and somehow I woke up in his arms on the other side of the futon from where I started. He was sleeping and holding me tight to him. After a few minutes, he woke up and we started kissing (initiated by him). One thing led to another, and there was basically a marathon session of sexual activity that lasted from approximately 1:30am (judging from where we were in the movie when this started), and going until 8am(ish). I've been in a number of long-term loving relationships, but this sex was unlike anything I've experienced before. It was deeply romantic while also being incredibly primal.

 

When we weren't partaking in certain activities we were sleeping, but he had me pulled tightly to him, holding me extremely close to him while sleeping. He mentioned a few times how nicely we seemed to fit into one another's arms. While still in bed in the morning we briefly spoke about how it was something that neither of us had expected, but that we were glad happened.

 

Then we got up and he made breakfast - and we acted like nothing happened!!!!

 

I have no idea how to approach this situation. I would like to explore options with him as far as a relationship goes. But I have no idea how he's feeling. I'm hesitant to bring it up, because I feel like if he's not feeling the same, or thinks that I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it is, it may severely hurt our friendship. I'm not naive enough to think that it won't have some impact on our friendship, but I would prefer to still be friends, even if he doesn't want to be together.

 

Any suggestions on not only how I should handle this with him, but also on if you feel from what I'm saying that they're any chance that he may be interested?

Edited April 1, 2017 by IPreferNevada

[preraph]

I bet anything he was dancing around the kitchen after you left. If he didn't want to do it, he wouldn't have. This could be a great thing. Now, if you'd said the sex was weird and you had regrets, I'd agree it could be a friendship buster, but sounds like it was the best possible outcome to me. So give it a day or two for the dust to settle and then hope you both talk about it. You should open by saying you are still very happy about it. I hope he will decide he wants to keep this going.

[NTV]

Lol sounds like awesone sex. Just invite him over for a repeat. you two will probably find it easy to talk about next steps if your blood isn't rushing to the other end of your bodies.

 

Also... isn't the first time usually the worst and most awkward? If you two are at the worst and most awkward now.... lol

 

Good luck!

[BluesPower]

You know what... Stop over thinking it.

 

You had some great sex, it was the right time and place. I will bet you a lot of money that he is as thrilled as you are.

 

Take it slow and if it is supposed to happen relationship wise it will happen, and you will know when it happens.

 

Until then, both of you enjoy yourselves...

[d0nnivain]

Although I'm not a big fan of texting, & you absolutely CAN NOT deal with this in that medium, send him a quick note that says, "I had fun last night" with a wink or other flirty emoji but not a heart. Then go back to your regular interactions. If he likes you too, he will pursue. If he doesn't, put a little distance in the friendship until you get your hormones under control.

[Emilia]

I think the friendship is over, there is no going back from this. So you two should talk. You have known each other for years, you owe it to each other to handle this like responsible adults and make sure you are on the same page.