MAgnus33 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I know this person for years and we been fine hanging out but over the past year somethings changed. When she drinks she flirts with me and not in a subtle way either as its full on no nonsense aggressive. Its actually gotten rather crazy to the point she taken her cloths off in front of me and mentioned she squirts when she masturbates in front of her mom. Keeps wanting me to cuddle with her extra and so on. Last time she outright asked me how i felt about her. Now i confronted her when she sober and she freely admits its wrong and i suggested maybe i should stay away but she said she be ok around me. This clearly hasn't happened and things have gotten worse. I know her ex who a totally ass who she uses for sex now and then still. He was always jealous around me for some reason and i am now suspecting why. I have been the responsible one and no lines have been crossed but this is getting uber awkward. She agreed to talk and suggested laying off the drinking which irony is i tend not to do much of anyway. What the heck do i do since she seems incapable or unwilling to stop herself. Don't want to loose a couple of friends (also friends with her mom for years) but mixed singles here is a understatement. Just reading this back after typing it out i realize how crazy it is lol. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 its actually gotten rather crazy to the point she taken her cloths off in front of me and mentioned she squirts when she masturbates in front of her mom. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I think he means that she talked about it in front of her mom, not did it in front of her At least I hope that's the case. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I think he means that she talked about it in front of her mom, not did it in front of her At least I hope that's the case. Even still... her mom must have less boundaries than she does. That is not a conversation I'd have with my mother or with my daughter. With my bff? Probably, but not any of my female relatives. Just eww.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 and mentioned she squirts when she masturbates in front of her mom. This is one of those instances where the lack of proper punctuation, in this case a comma, completely changes the meaning of the sentence... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 You tell her, in no uncertain terms, that she is disrespecting the boundaries of your friendship with her and that you will not tolerate another display of inappropriate behavior -- drunk or not. Drunkeness is no excuse for bad behavior. If she drinks in your presence, you leave immediately and you do it every time she drinks. No ifs and or buts about it. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 (now that I've composed myself) What the heck do i do since she seems incapable or unwilling to stop herself. Don't want to loose a couple of friends (also friends with her mom for years) but mixed singles here is a understatement. You're going to have to lose a friend, then, if you don't want to stand your ground on her inappropriate behavior. Suggest a therapist and keep a lot of distance between you and she until she's been through therapy for longer than 10 months. Your friend has a serious drinking problem and a serious boundary problem. She is sexually aggressive when she drinks. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 This is one of those instances where the lack of proper punctuation, in this case a comma, completely changes the meaning of the sentence... And, the reason texting causes so many misunderstandings and communication issues . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Author MAgnus33 Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 I think he means that she talked about it in front of her mom, not did it in front of her At least I hope that's the case. Damn you auto correct lol No she did not do so it in front of her mom lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author MAgnus33 Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 (now that I've composed myself) You're going to have to lose a friend, then, if you don't want to stand your ground on her inappropriate behavior. Suggest a therapist and keep a lot of distance between you and she until she's been through therapy for longer than 10 months. Your friend has a serious drinking problem and a serious boundary problem. She is sexually aggressive when she drinks. She doesn't drink all that much or that often its like just on a Friday or Saturday. Just doesn't seem to take more then a couple of beers and poof. I understand it if she was flirting with everyone but its aimed right at me. I am afraid you correct though and iam going to loose two friends if she can't stop. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 She doesn't drink all that much or that often its like just on a Friday or Saturday. Just doesn't seem to take more then a couple of beers and poof. I understand it if she was flirting with everyone but its aimed right at me. I am afraid you correct though and iam going to loose two friends if she can't stop. like just on a Friday or Saturday -- Which means every week she gets sh*tfaced and behaves like a tramp? She doesn't drink all that much or that often -- It doesn't matter how much or how often, she out of control when she does. If she does not know her limit or care about that, then she is going to be an embarrassment to you all too often. I would record her when she's behaving like that and show it to her. People often can't see themselves the way others do . . . Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I can't believe nobody has stated the obvious. This is unrequited love. She wants to get together with you and it comes out when she's drunk. Alcohol does not create behavior or emotions it only lowers inhibitions... This is usually a friendship killer. Been on the giving and receiving end. You need to address it sooner rather than later or the situation escalates to nuclear at some point... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MAgnus33 Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 Your reading something into that not there. Nearly everyone relaxes after the end of the work week and she not getting sh*t faced drunk just the four beers tipsy drunk. Now she clearly got feelings for me that aren't mere friend zone. She does clearly have issues in the relationship area and maybe counseling would help. I do wonder if she always felt this way and considering how incredibly dense i am in this area i may have just never noticed. Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Your reading something into that not there. Nearly everyone relaxes after the end of the work week and she not getting sh*t faced drunk just the four beers tipsy drunk. Then that's more evidence she wants a relationship with you. Nobody suddenly wants to strip naked in front of a friend because they are just tipsy... BTW 4 beers is enough to get most women completely smashed unless she's a heavy drinker (which you claim she's not) or she's just plain heavy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MAgnus33 Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 I can't believe nobody has stated the obvious. This is unrequited love. She wants to get together with you and it comes out when she's drunk. Alcohol does not create behavior or emotions it only lowers inhibitions... This is usually a friendship killer. Been on the giving and receiving end. You need to address it sooner rather than later or the situation escalates to nuclear at some point... I believe the expression you mean is In vino veritas..in wine there is truth a old roman saying. Or basically as you said booze doesn't create anything it merely lets it out. Yeah this is already close to nuclear i am a guy who putting the breaks on which already makes me rare lol. Why don't people just say what they want it makes things so much simpler. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MAgnus33 Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 Then that's more evidence she wants a relationship with you. Nobody suddenly wants to strip naked in front of a friend because they are just tipsy... BTW 4 beers is enough to get most women completely smashed unless she's a heavy drinker (which you claim she's not) or she's just plain heavy... Not heavy and though she can drink with the guys hasn't do so in ages. Think i can blame the axe body wash? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 (edited) She doesn't drink all that much or that often its like just on a Friday or Saturday. Just doesn't seem to take more then a couple of beers and poof. When she does it doesn't matter. The fact is: when she does drink, she can't control it or herself and she becomes sexually aggressive with you when she does. The booze is telling her she's being sexy when the fact is she's being obnoxious. You should video record her with your cell phone and show her when she's sober---then tell her she needs to find AA and to not call you until she's got a grip on her drinking *if* it really bothers you that much. Nearly everyone relaxes after the end of the work week and she not getting sh*t faced drunk just the four beers tipsy drunk. Everyone's tolerance for liquor varies from person to person---and with her, it doesn't take much for her to forget herself and make a spectacle of herself. For you or these "guys", 4 beers renders them mildly buzzed. For her, 4 beers turns her into an obnoxious mess. Edited March 31, 2017 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
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