Phillippa1989 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Hi I am Pippa. I have a boyfriend and we have a close male friend who flirts constantly with me. For ages I thought he hated me because of how he would act around me sometimes. He would insult me and put me down then the next minute would be flirting. We are never alone together. Last week we got drunk and he kissed me twice outside and was saying we both love you and was being really sweet and tender with his arms on my face and around me. Unfortunately i was too light headed and dizzy to push him off but i know my lips did not move (does that count as cheating?). He claims to not remember trying it on but funny he says he remembers telling us other things. Before this happened we were going to do an activity helping the community but on Sunday i asked if he wanted to still do it and he said he had forgotten about work that day. I've tried to arrange to meet up alone to talk about it but he won't answer. We saw each other twice since it happened and things have been different in a good way and we are much more relaxed around each other and we keep making eye contact. He spoke to my boyfriend when i wasn't around giving me compliments and saying nice thing's. Now my boyfriend thinks he wants me also but i don't know and I'm so confused as to what it meant and how i feel. He also said under the influence of alcohol that my best features are my eyes and personality but could this be the alcohol or did he mean it? He is a shy guy. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Your friend was after you even when he was being mean to you, and that is why I don't like him. Whether he realizes it or not, he was likely being mean to you in order to "bring you down to his level" so that he'd feel more confident coming on to you. Now he's disrespecting you by touching and kissing when he knows you have a boyfriend, and my dear, you are going to have to grow a spine and tell him a clear "NO." If he hadn't put you down in the past, I would say decide who you like best, but since he enjoyed tearing you down and that is a facet of abuse, I can only tell you to keep him at arm's length and tell him a clear and firm "no, never" because he is now in the process of trying to ruin your relationship with your boyfriend, who is right about this. Most guys are being a friend to a girl solely because they don't have the nerve to ask her out or come on to her or because they are lining her up for the future when they're free. He is the former. Now he's worked his nerve up, it's time you cut him off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phillippa1989 Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 Thanks for replying to me. I can never understand why if you like someone you would set out to hurt them surely treating them properly would mean you would get the desired reaction. And i have found out i was lied to about this event today. I can't think what i could have done to deserve being lied too. Maybe some people just aren't worth it?. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 It doesn't have to do with you. It is simply who he is. Most things people do to someone else isn't the fault of the one they are doing it to but just the pathology of the perpetrator. Of course, they'll try to make you think it's your fault. Link to post Share on other sites
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