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Reconnecting with a past crush, how to get it right


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Hi,

I learned that my crush for 6 years has came back into town. I want to make an attempt to reconnect and invite him out once.

I want to be at least friends, and maybe more than that if he is open to it. The thing is, he must changed within the last six years and he is no longer who I met six years ago.

Because he works in the government, he is really careful about words in emails and stuff. When I attempted to email him something last time a year ago over facebook messaging about his thoughts on something, he never answered, I think because he was not sure what my intention was, and he was afraid in case I want to post what he writes on social media, then he could get in trouble with work.

I really want to get it right this time and not make the same mistake.

I thought about texting, but I got his cell phone from a mutual acquitance, I wonder if he wouldn't mind that it wasn't directly from him? I also thought about adding him on whatsupp first and then leave a voice message, but maybe that risks him not answering either?

Please help. I really want to get this over with.

 

Dee

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Hi,

I learned that my crush for 6 years has came back into town. I want to make an attempt to reconnect and invite him out once.

I want to be at least friends, and maybe more than that if he is open to it. The thing is, he must changed within the last six years and he is no longer who I met six years ago.

Because he works in the government, he is really careful about words in emails and stuff. When I attempted to email him something last time a year ago over facebook messaging about his thoughts on something, he never answered, I think because he was not sure what my intention was, and he was afraid in case I want to post what he writes on social media, then he could get in trouble with work.

I really want to get it right this time and not make the same mistake.

I thought about texting, but I got his cell phone from a mutual acquitance, I wonder if he wouldn't mind that it wasn't directly from him? I also thought about adding him on whatsupp first and then leave a voice message, but maybe that risks him not answering either?

Please help. I really want to get this over with.

 

Dee

Unfortunately I think he is avoiding you.

 

I don't know the reason, but if he is an active facebook user, but he doesn't reply to your message, that means he is avoiding you

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isolatedgothic

I am learning that if a guy wants to be in contact with you, he will get into contact with you. If he didn't respond to your last message, it means he wasn't interested in responding. I doubt that he lives with so much anxiety over his job that he cannot post or respond or get into touch with you himself. He probably has a very active social life, and isn't at all afraid of chatting with those people.

 

He is a crush. It has been 6 years, and yes, like you said, he isn't the same person. Men have a tendency to move on quickly and put the past behind them. More than likely, he is a fantasy for you now. He is someone in your head who he isn't in real life. I am finding that we women have a tendency to romanticize a situation and someone. It's something I have done, and have lived to regret.

 

I'd let it go. He has moved on. The very smartest thing you can do is to move on to new people. If he is coming back to town and he wants to see you, he will let you know. You've tried. He hasn't responded. Take that as your hint and move forward.

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Idk. If the person isn't added as a friend on facebook then the message goes into a different folder he might not see. Could be he never got it.

 

If he doesn't normally use whatsup app then he might think that it's bogus.

 

Is he married?

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OK, speaking from experience of connecting with my big crush decades later.

First, realize that if it had been all the way mutual, he would have been more than a crush, so he may be going into this very carefully. So don't make the mistake I did and get carried away from the sheer intoxication of seeing him. I got carried away and it was okay for a couple of days but then after I got home and he wasn't emailing as much, he had decided I was moving too fast and it totally scared him off.

 

If I'd simply 1) not slept with him and 2) kept it casual, who knows maybe he'd have built on the relationship -- but he had that chance in the distant past and we never really got past sleeping together and some nice conversations, not real dating.

 

And don't start making excuses for him already. If he doesn't want you emailing or whatever or his business account he can give you his private one!

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He might be married. I think he might be very careful given his position. on facebook all messages were status 'read" tho.

 

If he had to be ultra careful because of his job, he wouldn't have a FB presence. Sorry, I think you need to let this one go.

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todreaminblue

i like face book as a private messaging medium for many reasons ....two that come to mind is ...most people have it...and the ones that i know that are not on my friends list or that dont use it often call me on my phones anyway is that people have been able to find me and message me there...lost friends...another reason...that i can let them know i have seen the message by accepting the message request so that gives them peace of mind if they arent on my friends list and i reply to them anyway.....another reason is i can see they have read my question or message and have chosen not to respond....

 

 

all in all on my years on face book...i have not been responded to ...by two people.....only two people have chosen to ignore me.....after seeing my messages......i am not good with ignorance..makes me feel....worthless........so i would suggest facebook maybe for peace of mind...or....call him in real time......and talk to him..speaking of...i have a phone call i need to return...smilin...best wishes......deb

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