Stuck in Limbo

[myxtchek]

So I met this girl at work about 6-8 months ago or so and we quickly became really good friends. Keep in mind while reading this that this girl is SUPER sweet and heartwarmingly, adorably innocent. Anyways, we went out one night about a month after meeting and I tried kissing her which failed because she was seeing a guy (we'll call him Kyle) at the time. Fast forward to about a month or two ago where they had a rough patch, things got rocky and eventually they stopped communicating for a while.

 

During their rough patch we went out for dinner one night and afterwards we ended up getting pretty drunk together at my apartment. I confessed how beautiful I thought she was and we ended up having some admittedly awful drunk sex.

 

Some time shortly after that night she pulled the classic friendzone where she said something like "I'm not really looking for anything right now and I'm still kind of upset about the whole Kyle thing. Also you're a really good friend and I wouldn't want to mess that up."

 

Despite saying that, she texts/messages me quite often and we hang out pretty frequently. We've passed out together, she's slept over in my bed, we kiss/make out occasionally, cuddle & nap together, etc.

 

I've admittedly not been very forward and I've been super hesitant about making any sexual advances because my mind is caught in this limbo of not being sure if she's interested in anything further and I don't want to make things uncomfortable/awkward by making a move and being turned down.

 

I've noticed that she's texting Kyle again and now I'm feeling like I might be in a situation where I'm being led to believe that she could see me as being more than a friend when that's not actually true, and like I'm a source of comfort/attention who might just be a safety net if she can't work things out with this other guy.

 

I'm not really sure what to do at this point, and whether I should A) make a move and see what happens, B) say something about being concerned that I'm being led to believe that she could see me as more than a friend if that's not true, C) say something about not being sure what's going on and being mentally conflicted about everything, and/or D) say something about not wanting to be a safety net if things don't work out w/ the other guy.

 

Any advice/pointers? Big thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to read this and reply.

 

p.s. The other night a group of friends (her included) went out drinking and I ended up leaving because I was upset about something, but my phone died so it took me about an hour and a half or so to get home. Apparently she was really upset and concerned the whole time, called me several times and made several trips back to the bar to find me, and when I finally made it back to the apartment she gave me a big hug and then ended up making a move by initiating making out with me on my bed (nothing further happened, other people there and I was still uncertain/conflicted).

[preraph]

Honestly, I think you should totally stop seeing her until and unless she totally stops seeing Kyle and then wants to be your girlfriend. She sounds kind of fickle.

[myxtchek]

We've been really good friends though, isn't that kind of harsh?

 

I mean I've probably been more of the one to initiate the kind of behavior I was mentioning (cuddling, kissing, etc) so I'm wondering if she's actually interested or if she's just afraid to turn me down cuz she actually doesn't want to risk our friendship. She DID kind of already throw the classic friend zone card and I charged myself forward anyways, so isn't this kind of on me?

 

Also she's had SOME kind of history with this guy, I still don't know the full story because she never gave a complete answer and never really said much about him the few times I asked, but they were seeing each other for a while but never officially dated.

 

My mind is all over the place on this one and I don't know what to make of it, I'd probably be ok being friends (obviously I want more) but I just hate the in-between limbo situation because it's super uncomfortable/awkward.

[preraph]

has she ever just said no or pushed you away when you try to kiss and touch her? If not, she's going along with it but why would she dump Kyle for you when you will stay there and she can have both.