How to stop being her text buddy?

[steppero]

I'm somewhat confused with my female friends behaviour towards me. I work with this woman, She has a partner, over the last say 5 months she's been initiating text conversations with me every single day via phone and on facebook. Conversations range from light hearted banter, funny photos, private jokes to her whinging about her relationship troubles whenever she has a fight with her partner.

 

If i try to ignore her texts she gets angry at me, and she keeps sending me texts until i reply. Some times i get the impression she may be interested in me because she does flirt with me sometimes at work, and once again when i try to ignore her in person she gets mad at me, but I am sure I'm reading this totally wrong.

 

She doesn't do this to any of her other guy friends, just me.

Why would a woman who has a partner feel the need to be doing this to another guy?

[NTV]

She wants to cheat on her partner with you. You can take the high road and tell her that you're not going to talk to her anymore until she breaks up with her partner. Or you can take the low road and send her a picture of your junk. Or you can keep being we could putting up with what you have now.

 

I suggest you take the high road and find somebody else and ignore completely. She sounds like a master manipulator.

[d0nnivain]

She's engaging in a form of an EA with you. Not over text tell her you feel uncomfortable & you want to put your interactions on more of a professional footing. If she gets angry so be it. Let her. As her work colleague you can't be her therapist. If it effects your work, take it to management.

[preraph]

She sounds just like a person who likes to chit chat and though she probably has other friends for that, she's also doing it to you. Some people just like to talk too much (text too much) and aren't very discreet and don't use common sense. She may be flirty, but it's kind of beside the point.

 

Do the fade on the texts. Tell her you don't have time and feel you're getting too personal with a coworker and you are going to peel it back. Like Donnivain said, if she gets ugly about it, you could report it, but I hope if you are just firm with her and stop giving in about texting, that she will have to respect you.

[Michelle ma Belle]

So she 'gets mad' at you for not responding therefore you continue to respond anyway?

 

Does she have a gun to your head or something?

 

I'm with those who say this woman is looking for some form of EA and you are the chosen one. She's seeking an escape from her world and regardless if she has sights on this being anything more than just innocent chit chat, nothing good can come from this. Period. Tell her you're uncomfortable and end it.

[Whodatdog]

It just can't be that tough to just not respond to her, unless its something you WANT to do...which I tend to believe. No one has to text anyone back, and if she gets mad, so what?

Edited February 16, 2017 by Whodatdog

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I think you answered your own question. If she regularly comes to you to whine about her relationship problems then there is probably a void in the relationship.

 

You might be in the friend-zone in her eyes, but you can still fulfill the role of a pseudo boyfriend (aka emotional support/text buddy) without the perks of a boyfriend. That will still be reserved for her partner.

 

It is also hardly surprising she only does this with you and not other guys. Most men wouldn't invest so much time and energy in a woman unless there was the possibility of sex. That might also explain why she kicks up a fuss when you pull back. It will be difficult to find another guy that will indulge her the same way without expecting more in return.

 

Sorry if that sounds a little blunt, but that is what I suspect is going on here.