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Slept with a friend, now what to say?


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Looking for a bit of guidance on how to deal with a new situation for me.

 

Last Friday, I met up with a friend at a bar and at the end of the night we ended up making out and I went home with him. I wasn’t drunk and neither was he, we just have a lot of chemistry -- during and after our past few meet-ups I had thought about it, and decided that I really wanted to sleep with him (we’ve known each other about a month.) When we were making out, he checked in to make sure that, “We’ll be good after this…” and I said of course. The sex was good – he said it was “really fun.” I didn’t spend the night, but did stay in his bed for about an hour afterwards, talking and cuddling.

 

I’m not worried about where this “goes” in terms of a relationship (I’m not looking for one, and neither is he), but I’m wondering what to do and say now? Should I text him to hang out as friends again, or will that make him think I’m clingy? Should I wait for him to be in touch? We had a very brief text chat about our schoolwork on Sunday, but nothing more.

 

Also, I definitely am up for sleeping together again, so not sure how to bring that up haha.

 

I’ve never had a one night stand before, and certainly not one with a friend.

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Because you say he's a friend, it's not a one-night-stand. That term generally applies to a person with whom you have no emotional connection going-in and with whom you're never going to have sexual contact again.

 

As to what to do or say, pretend you didn't have sex, and do or say what you would have otherwise. Ask him to meet you for a drink again. Ask him about the latest on some common interest you two have.

 

You say that neither of you is looking for a relationship, but you also said that you're friends. One or the other is wrong. Friendship is a relationship, an important one based on mutual trust. If you're friends, then you're already in a relationship together: a friendship.

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Because you say he's a friend, it's not a one-night-stand. That term generally applies to a person with whom you have no emotional connection going-in and with whom you're never going to have sexual contact again.

 

As to what to do or say, pretend you didn't have sex, and do or say what you would have otherwise. Ask him to meet you for a drink again. Ask him about the latest on some common interest you two have.

 

You say that neither of you is looking for a relationship, but you also said that you're friends. One or the other is wrong. Friendship is a relationship, an important one based on mutual trust. If you're friends, then you're already in a relationship together: a friendship.

 

Fair point, thanks! I think I've been nervous and treating this as more of a one-night stand than it is. This helps.

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Continue whatever dynamic got you two to the bar last Friday. Keep things casual & normal (however it was before the sex) If you don't make it awkward, it won't be.

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