What did I do

[D.r.e]

I feel like I have made a huge mistake. I ignored every red flag and have myself in a terrible situation.

 

My ex broke up with me just over a year ago and in that time I haven't really dated anyone. I started hanging out with new friends and old. One of the new friends started to get pretty close to me. We started by hanging out innocently enough, until one day we slept together. I found out later that she was in an open relationship, she told me they weren't sleeping together. I didn't seem to care and we continued to sleep together. I enjoyed her company, and I kept meeting other people.

 

Later in the year, the two of them broke up but they were still living together. Things got worse for her and my lease was ending, and wanted to save money so I agreed to help her and move in with her. I knew I felt something special for her, but didn't think too much of it.

 

I figured it wouldn't be a big deal, I work long hours and we hang out all the time anyway. We found a great place with very good rental incentives, so good that I agreed to sign up 2 months before my current lease expired. She would be moving in early and covering those months while my other lease was expiring.

 

Anyway, as my move in day came close and closer, she became more and more distant. First, we stopped having sex, then no more making out, then no more hugs, until the week before we didn't even talk to each other. This only made my feelings worse. I feel so many emotions and realize I probably made a big mistake. She hasn't really had a conversation with me since I've moved. I know that she is the type that wants to do her own thing and I know I can't do anything about that. I mean, I know she doesn't want a relationship, she's just got out of one. I find myself craving just a bit of attention and I am getting none, which is getting me to question my attractiveness, self-worth and self esteem.

 

If I wasn't living with her, I would probably just disappear from her life and move on. But here I am, living with someone that I want something from that I can't do anything about. I seem to go from okay, to hurt, to jealous to sad to angry... all the time. Needless to say, I feel very confused. I've brought this up, and she assures me that she cares. I just don't like feeling like this or know how to move on.

[preraph]

Are you both on the lease? If so, yes, you have a problem. If it's just you, kick her out. Have a conversation with her though and tell her you didn't invite to live with her as a roommate.

[D.r.e]

Are you both on the lease? If so, yes, you have a problem. If it's just you, kick her out. Have a conversation with her though and tell her you didn't invite to live with her as a roommate.

 

That's not what I told her. When she was backing off she insisted we were friends, and said things like I'm not her bf. She had made it very clear she didn't want a relationship at the time, and I was dumb and figured I could handle it.

[preraph]

Is she on the lease or not? If not, kick her out. Tell her you can't handle it. Give her a month to find a place. If she's on the lease, you are going to have to learn to handle it, date other women, etc. until the lease is up.

[D.r.e]

Is she on the lease or not? If not, kick her out. Tell her you can't handle it. Give her a month to find a place. If she's on the lease, you are going to have to learn to handle it, date other women, etc. until the lease is up.

 

She is... It's a 6 mth lease

[oldshirt]

Several options here but one thing to keep in mind is 6 months is just a drop in the bucket of your life. There are millions of married couples that live like this for many years until the kids are grown and out of the house.

 

Your options are -

 

- accept that you are just roommates splitting the rent and utilities and go out and have fun. Date other girls.

 

- see if you can find someone to sublease from you for the remainder of your lease.

 

- have a meeting with your landlord and see if you can buy yourself out of the lease.

[D.r.e]

Several options here but one thing to keep in mind is 6 months is just a drop in the bucket of your life. There are millions of married couples that live like this for many years until the kids are grown and out of the house.

 

Your options are -

 

- accept that you are just roommates splitting the rent and utilities and go out and have fun. Date other girls.

 

- see if you can find someone to sublease from you for the remainder of your lease.

 

- have a meeting with your landlord and see if you can buy yourself out of the lease.

 

Thanks I will try option 1, and go for one of the other two if it gets bad.

[mightycpa]

This happens all the time. Actually, if she's a good roommate, you should try to adjust your attitude so you can keep her as one.

 

Just find a couple new sex partners, and start bringing some other girls home. You'll get over it.

[D.r.e]

This happens all the time. Actually, if she's a good roommate, you should try to adjust your attitude so you can keep her as one.

 

Just find a couple new sex partners, and start bringing some other girls home. You'll get over it.

 

Probably the best solution. Options always feel better.

[JediLin]

@D.r.e – So sorry to hear about your situation. I understand how you feel, please know they are just feelings and far from the truth. You have the right to make the choice to get up and move out, remove yourself from the situation. If there are any consequences accept them and move on. You are worth it. People are not perfect and we should not depend on someone else to make us happy. I know it is difficult but don’t get stuck. Make the choice. Please know someone is praying for you out here.

[D.r.e]

@D.r.e – So sorry to hear about your situation. I understand how you feel, please know they are just feelings and far from the truth. You have the right to make the choice to get up and move out, remove yourself from the situation. If there are any consequences accept them and move on. You are worth it. People are not perfect and we should not depend on someone else to make us happy. I know it is difficult but don’t get stuck. Make the choice. Please know someone is praying for you out here.

 

Thanks, I need it. I keep going back and forth on this so I don't think I can pull the trigger just yet. I feel very isolated and I don't have anyone to talk to.

[D.r.e]

@D.r.e – So sorry to hear about your situation. I understand how you feel, please know they are just feelings and far from the truth. You have the right to make the choice to get up and move out, remove yourself from the situation. If there are any consequences accept them and move on. You are worth it. People are not perfect and we should not depend on someone else to make us happy. I know it is difficult but don’t get stuck. Make the choice. Please know someone is praying for you out here.

 

Thanks, I need it. I keep going back and forth on this so I don't think I can pull the trigger just yet. I feel very isolated and I don't have anyone to talk to.

[preraph]

Well, it's not going to be the greatest six months, but finding a new girlfriend who has her own place that you can hang out at a lot would be a wonderful thing about now. Good luck. Six months isn't THAT long.