joash_9292 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I'm a 25 year old guy, and my best friend ever is this girl. We met in grad school, we hang out all the time, look out for each other, have meal together, watch movies..know each other deepest secrets. We know each other now for more than two years now. Today when we were working in her room, she asked me to massage the back of her neck as she felt stressed out and I started massaging her neck, which I used to do for her all the time, but this time she asked me to concentrate on the collar bone, which was weird, but i continued to do it. Two minutes into massaging her collar bone, she turned to me and all i knew was she was kissing me intensely and one thing led to another we had sex. Now I have had one night stands, but i felt nothing for those girls. But with her, sex felt good and more emotionally satisfying, and I saw tears coming out of her eyes when it was done. When I asked why she told it was the first time she felt loved. Now whenever I see her I have this warm feeling of love and need to protect her and I could see a difference in smile on her face when she sees me. Now I have no clue what to do. I like her but do we need to start dating? Will it make the friendship awkward? We like each other but we are totally confused and don't know how to define our relationship. I genuinely love this girl and I realized it after i slept with her and I still don't know why she cried after having sex and said that she was happy? I'm totally confused with all the emotions Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 The friendship as you knew it has now morphed into something else. There's no going back to a simple friendship now that you've slept together and realised your feelings...so you may as well move forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Love blossomed. You take it slow and see where it goes. Don't smother her but don't become standoffish either. Perhaps it's best to have a talk and ask her what she wants but figure out what you want first. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
enddeck Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Just relax dude.You have found what may be "the one" and she obviously thinks the world of you so just go on as usual,hang out and don't feel awkward.She feels exactly the same as you so just chill. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 She was emotional because she cares about you and so she cried after sex. Unlikely that will continue so put it out of your mind. This is great. The time was right and you just fell into making love and you both enjoyed it and care about each other. So congratulations! Yes, you should take her out on a real date once in awhile. I know it's weird since you've always been friends, but you want to make her know that now you think enough of her to treat her properly and take her on a date say once a week and treat her special. I think you should talk to her right away about being exclusive to further her trust in you. I mean, you know each other well enough already to take that step. good luck! Oh. And next time, do NOT wait for her to make the move. She had to make the move. She'd rather she didn't have to be the one, so YOU make the move next time and on a regular basis, though it's fine if she does as well. But you initiate date and sex next time so she doesn't feel she has to always be the aggressor. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I sleep with my best friend all the time but she was my lover before she became my best friend. You just happened to do it in the reverse order. Since you are such good friends it's should be easy to have the talk about what you both want to do now. You can't put the genie back in the bottle. You just both need to decide the answer to the question "what next for us?" Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
February Girl Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I'm so happy to read about this because I also currently have feelings for a male friend. I think you are lucky because what you guys feel for each other are the same - you love and are attracted to each other. I think she cried because she had been looking for that love for so long and has finally found it in someone who has been close to her all this while. I say please go on a date and treat her like you always do BUT with PDA this time around, now that it's not just two people hanging out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author joash_9292 Posted February 8, 2017 Author Share Posted February 8, 2017 To give a background, I was in a serious relationship with a girl for three years and was dumped on the day I proposed her. It was then I decided, that I will never have emotional feeling for anyone or fall in love again because I don't want to go through the pain of breakup. I have been out of relationships for three years now, although I have a lot of one night stands, without any strings attached and I'm extremely happy with it. Now coming to the point, I moved to a new country after my breakup and made friends with a new girl in my workplace, and we are best friends now. We hang out together all the time, have lunch and dinner together and do everything together. Lately I got a dream that she was kissing some guy and woke up and was feeling wierd. Now whenever she talks with some guy even at work, I get extremely jealous. I think I'm falling for her since I'm hanging out with her a lot. Now I'm having thoughts of asking her out. This is exactly what I'm trying to keep myself away from, emotional attachment with anyone. Despite that I'm having feelings for her. What do I do now? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 I think you wait it out and hope the feeling will pass. I think you look elsewhere and not the workplace and give some of these one-night-stands a fair shot and take them on a few real dates and see who they are instead of just sleeping with them. Probably one of them at least would make a good girlfriend. The last thing would be to pick someone where you work because if you think it's hard to get over a breakup, think about getting over a breakup and then having to continue to work with and see her every day. Ten times harder. Alternatively, you could quit your job and then ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
February Girl Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I think you wait it out and hope the feeling will pass. I think you look elsewhere and not the workplace and give some of these one-night-stands a fair shot and take them on a few real dates and see who they are instead of just sleeping with them. Probably one of them at least would make a good girlfriend. The last thing would be to pick someone where you work because if you think it's hard to get over a breakup, think about getting over a breakup and then having to continue to work with and see her every day. Ten times harder. Alternatively, you could quit your job and then ask her out. Funny, the OP's problem is almost similar to mine. I agree it's gonna be hard to face them at work if it doesn't work out. And most definitely the friendship won't return to the way it was, right? But... isn't it normal for people to find "the one" at their workplace? I mean, where else would we find them; friend of a friend or relative? An old friend? And the one-night-stands... I'm not convinced they would be interested in us as more than that... Link to post Share on other sites
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