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I read somewhere that if a guy wants to be FWB only but not in a relationship with a girl, he finds her not good looking enough to meet his criteria for a relationship.

Now, I know it could be also because she is pretty but not smart enough, or not interesting enough, however, I am interested in this physical aspect. How can someone have on-going fwb if they dont find the other person pretty enough.

 

Is that true?

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Could be. I've seen men put up with just about anything from a good looking woman; however I would think since FWB is mostly about sex it would seem he would dump her if the sex wasn't good.

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Cookiesandough

You may not be that crazy about the restaurant, but if it's the only place open at the moment and you're hungry, you'll eat there if the food is edible. But you certainly wouldn't agree to only eating at that restaurant. And as soon as another restaurant you really like opens up, you're going to go there.

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There does often seem to be some asymmetry in these arrangements.

 

FWIW, I have seen this happen before.

 

Average looking woman offers to be FWB with a very good looking man. She knows she has no chance of him selecting her to be a gf off the bat but entices him with an offer of no strings sex. He happens not to want a relationship and likes the idea of having casual sex. He accepts her enticement since the women in his league that he knows aren't wanting to be FWB. After some months he is now ready for a relationship. He finds someone he wants to date and tells FWB. She's heart-broken because she had become attached. It's her own fault actually. She lied about what she wanted in order for a chance to "play up." She secretly tried to sex him into a relationship that he didn't want to be in and it didn't work.

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There does often seem to be some asymmetry in these arrangements.

 

FWIW, I have seen this happen before.

 

Average looking woman offers to be FWB with a very good looking man. She knows she has no chance of him selecting her to be a gf off the bat but entices him with an offer of no strings sex. He happens not to want a relationship and likes the idea of having casual sex. He accepts her enticement since the women in his league that he knows aren't wanting to be FWB. After some months he is now ready for a relationship. He finds someone he wants to date and tells FWB. She's heart-broken because she had become attached. It's her own fault actually. She lied about what she wanted in order for a chance to "play up." She secretly tried to sex him into a relationship that he didn't want to be in and it didn't work.

 

The guy I was going out recently told me he wanted something serious but his actions were telling me he wanted casual sex. He put some effort in setting up dates but it wasnt enough. He clearly enjoyed my company and we could talk for hours. Sex was great too.

 

So my question is: why wouldnt he want a relationship if he enjoyed my company and wanted to see me at least two times a week?

I am nice, smart, ambitious and I think above average looking girl (but definitely not beautiful or gorgeous).

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Doesn't sound like he is "slumming" and 2 times a week sounds like relationship territory to me, not FWB.

 

Maybe he's just afraid of commitment and the relationship label and it has absolutely nothing to do with you?

 

You have decide if his hesitance is acceptable to you.

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The guy I was going out recently told me he wanted something serious but his actions were telling me he wanted casual sex. He put some effort in setting up dates but it wasnt enough. He clearly enjoyed my company and we could talk for hours. Sex was great too.

 

So my question is: why wouldnt he want a relationship if he enjoyed my company and wanted to see me at least two times a week?

I am nice, smart, ambitious and I think above average looking girl (but definitely not beautiful or gorgeous).

 

For whatever reason he does not see you as "relationship material".

It could be about looks it could be about personality, it could be that he doesn't want a nice, smart, ambitious girl, he perhaps really wants a gorgeous trophy Stepford wife that he can show off to all his friends, who knows?

Just because HE doesn't see you as relationship material does not mean you are not perfect relationship material for someone else.

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For whatever reason he does not see you as "relationship material".

It could be about looks it could be about personality, it could be that he doesn't want a nice, smart, ambitious girl, he perhaps really wants a gorgeous trophy Stepford wife that he can show off to all his friends, who knows?

Just because HE doesn't see you as relationship material does not mean you are not perfect relationship material for someone else.

 

Or he doesn't want a relationship at all.

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Or he doesn't want a relationship at all.

 

Perhaps. I guess I will never understand it. If I connect led with someone and that guy made me happy, I would never keep him as a FWB, while waiting for a trophy bf because I wouldnt be interested in anyone else.

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Perhaps. I guess I will never understand it. If I connect led with someone and that guy made me happy, I would never keep him as a FWB, while waiting for a trophy bf because I wouldnt be interested in anyone else.

 

But you are assuming he has "connected" with you.

People if they are sensible, tend to choose a person with a fatal flaw as a fwb. They then do not get too involved.

I think he is a great guy but he has no career and no ambition, he can have a bad temper, he is not very clever, he has no depth, he is a bit boring(apart from the sex) etc. etc. There is usually something about that person that does not make them long term material, so when any feelings kick in their head tells them "No", and the feelings are then dismissed.

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