I (male) developed feelings for one of my best friends (female)

[gh1829kg]

So my last year of school, I was in a relationship and working as an RA on campus. I had no intentions of being close with anyone on my staff, but I ended up becoming super close with 3 of them. One of them happens to be female, but I didn't think much of that aspect, because you know, relationship. That said, she was/is a wonderful person and a fantastic friend, and we've kept in touch since I graduated.

 

Fast forward to September, me and my ex break up. I still visit my 3 friends at school whenever they invite me (frequently). When I leave after the weekend, I get very reminiscent. Recently, I've started reminiscing about the year I spent with my friends, without the relationship glasses I'd been wearing. And I had this "OH MY GOD" moment. I am a firm believer in having an SO who is also your best friend. That coupled with a few more visits, and boom: feelings.

 

There are a few battles going on in my head right now that I can't seem to resolve. Will acting on these feelings screw up the best group of friends I've ever had? Is it even possible that she feels the same? She's moving out of state for grad school, if she does, do I go with? How do I go forward?

 

TL;DR

GOT THE FEELS FOR A BEST FRIEND, DONT WANNA SCREW UP FRIEND GROUP, PLS HELP

[RebelSoul]

So my last year of school, I was in a relationship and working as an RA on campus. I had no intentions of being close with anyone on my staff, but I ended up becoming super close with 3 of them. One of them happens to be female, but I didn't think much of that aspect, because you know, relationship. That said, she was/is a wonderful person and a fantastic friend, and we've kept in touch since I graduated.

 

Fast forward to September, me and my ex break up. I still visit my 3 friends at school whenever they invite me (frequently). When I leave after the weekend, I get very reminiscent. Recently, I've started reminiscing about the year I spent with my friends, without the relationship glasses I'd been wearing. And I had this "OH MY GOD" moment. I am a firm believer in having an SO who is also your best friend. That coupled with a few more visits, and boom: feelings.

 

There are a few battles going on in my head right now that I can't seem to resolve. Will acting on these feelings screw up the best group of friends I've ever had? Is it even possible that she feels the same? She's moving out of state for grad school, if she does, do I go with? How do I go forward?

 

TL;DR

GOT THE FEELS FOR A BEST FRIEND, DONT WANNA SCREW UP FRIEND GROUP, PLS HELP

 

Totally understand your feelings, unfortunately in my case he didn't feel the same way but we're still friends.

 

I would go for it! Life is way too short and you may regret it later if you don't try. Meet up with her and talk to her, see where you guys are.

 

Sending you good vibes!!

[preraph]

No way to know if she feels that way about you, so the only thing you can do is ask her and her alone out on a date. Make sure she knows it's a date. Ask her to do something on a Fri or Sat and say "Would you like to go to dinner and a movie with me this Saturday, just the two of us?" Then if she makes excuses or tries to bring someone else, you'll know she's not interested, but if she accepts, then you pick her up and you act like a date from the get-go, opening the door, steering her to her seat, etc. and somewhere along the way you will find out if she's liking that or if she's kind of pulling away or acting tense and at the same time, you haven't really compromised anything or humiliated yourself and nothing is way out in the open, no confessions. So ask her on a date. That's how you find out. Good luck. If you want to, you could preface asking with asking her if she's currently seeing anyone or not, to just be sure she's not first.