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My escort lover... [update: Dating other guys?]


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Hello guys, so few weeks ago on my way home from a club this girl starts talking to me on the bus home and basically I met her for 5minutes and then we got off @ her place and had sex all night and it was great.

 

We then met once more a week later, she asked if I want to watch a movie with her but no sex and we had sex anyway only once though.

 

We met up this week just to go clubbing and in that time she mentioned to me she is an escort and was sort of lying about what she does, said she has bar work in the evening that's why she finishes late.

 

Now in reality, although I'm super hot for her sexually I know I'd never want to be with her in a real relationship. But for some reason I feel a bit funny about all of this and I guess it bugs me a little that now I know when she's out she's basically sleeping with other guys etc

 

Maybe also because she seems like a nice person but at the same time I know she sleeps around a lot, I mean hell she found me on a bus and took me home lol. I also think part of me wants to have a lot of sex with her but keeping in contact with her is difficult. I know for certain she ignores my texts etc when she feels like it and I think at this point in my life I am quite lonely so when I meet someone new I feel a bit attached and find it hard to take my mind off things!

 

Thanks

 

EDIT: Also part of me feels a bit dirty in a way, I don't understand why she's doing it and she said it's only been 2 months but then I think the 2nd night I met her she was coming from "work" and we had sex and the first night we met she was just at a club but I went down on her a lot and didn't use condom

Edited by BadMistakes
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You know, I have to figure out how these manipulative [people] work their game.

 

She did the typical 'give the guy a taste to get him hooked (hence where the term "hooker" comes from), then give him some sob story about her life and/or hold off on giving more sex until she can shake him down for money, rides, toothbrushes.

 

The guy that left me for [another woman] was in the same situation and he wouldn't admit that she was working guys. He just said she had a lot of "friends". He'd even take her to the club and sit there like an idiot while she would be dancing with other guys and getting more marks/clients.

 

I don't see why you, like him, have any interest in her and are putting her on a pedestal. She's garbage...IMO.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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A lonely guy loses his mind when a girl throws sex on him? This is not so uncommon.

 

Just keep yourself protected in all ways. That includes not falling in love with her and not developing the addiction of dating only prostitutes.

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Are you paying her rent or car note yet or anything like that?

 

I'm sorry but ppl who get a lot of sex - never mind their profession - don't usually just find their sex soul mate on the bus one night and start boffing them 5 minutes later for no reason. She's prob working the ATM angle on you.

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A lonely guy loses his mind when a girl throws sex on him? This is not so uncommon.

 

Just keep yourself protected in all ways. That includes not falling in love with her and not developing the addiction of dating only prostitutes.

 

I understand being lonely, but if a cactus plant shows a lonely person the time of day, all common sense goes into the trash? Last time I looked, cactus plants are throny all over.

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She's prolly doing this to pay for her college funds :cool:

 

Aww...

 

Poor thing. Lemme pull out and play a sorrowful tune on the smallest violin ever :rolleyes:.

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The crux of the matter is that you are lonely, and that you do not see this girl as long term relationship material, which is probably an accurate assessment, on many different levels.

It is a disaster waiting to happen.

 

YOU are already too attached IMO.

Time to step right back and start looking for a more serious girlfriend, one that will cure your loneliness and also has the potential for a longer term relationship.

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I'm mainly concerned that you didn't use condoms. Please don't do that ever again, and you should get tested.

 

Besides that, why is everybody harshing on this girl for what work she does, just because she wanted to have sex all night with a guy she met on a bus?

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Wookin Pa Nub

Is she in your league looks-wise? If so, find another girl. If she is much hotter than the avg girl you can get, she's prolly playing you but maybe just enjoy the hot sex for another week or two then hit the brakes.

 

 

I think the rule of thumb is most escorts/hookers will lie, steal, manipulate, etc to get money b/c they need to feed their habit, have serious financial issues or the rare case just love money to buy material things.

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Just watch out because sex workers always have a "story" to illicit first sympathy and then money from you. And you're nuts not using a condom or even kissing her or anything.

 

One of the most disgusting things I've witnessed that brought me to reality is I was on a tour bus one time and right before the lounge door shut, I could see the band singer looking in the stripper's mouth with a flashlight before he got down to business.

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Sounds more like fwb.

 

Escorts are pay upfront.

 

But then they have only a few sugar daddy's.

 

You met a stranger.. Who may or maynot be in the true escort business.

 

Never did see the difference in prostitutes and escorts. I guess it's the selection of the clientele. Although the fees are different.. They both end up in compromising positions...

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You know, I have to figure out how these manipulative [people] work their game.

 

She did the typical 'give the guy a taste to get him hooked (hence where the term "hooker" comes from), then give him some sob story about her life and/or hold off on giving more sex until she can shake him down for money, rides, toothbrushes.

 

The guy that left me for [another woman] was in the same situation and he wouldn't admit that she was working guys. He just said she had a lot of "friends". He'd even take her to the club and sit there like an idiot while she would be dancing with other guys and getting more marks/clients.

 

I don't see why you, like him, have any interest in her and are putting her on a pedestal. She's garbage...IMO.

 

Hi thank you all so much for the replies, I don't think she is trying to pull anything on me in terms of trying to get money from me or anything...we met on the bus, had fun and then just started talking from there. In fact she didn't want to tell me she was an escort, she was hoping I'd have forgotten after our night out as we were drunk, she hasn't really tried to get money from me or use me for anything usually she just asks if I want to hang out at her place and watch a movie or something. When we went to the club she did dance with other guys but most of the time she stayed with me but we were all drunk and it wasn't exactly like I wasn't getting with other girls either.

 

I wouldn't say I'm putting her on a pedestal but it's a weird feeling...

 

Are you paying her rent or car note yet or anything like that?

 

I'm sorry but ppl who get a lot of sex - never mind their profession - don't usually just find their sex soul mate on the bus one night and start boffing them 5 minutes later for no reason. She's prob working the ATM angle on you.

 

What is the "ATM" angle? Also I don't pay anything of hers we just hang out usually to watch a movie or something. I don't think it's anything to do with sex soul mate in either of our eyes, she probably just found me attractive as she went out of her way to come and sit near me and talk and I'd say I'm a pretty attractive guy, tall, in good shape etc

 

The crux of the matter is that you are lonely, and that you do not see this girl as long term relationship material, which is probably an accurate assessment, on many different levels.

It is a disaster waiting to happen.

 

YOU are already too attached IMO.

Time to step right back and start looking for a more serious girlfriend, one that will cure your loneliness and also has the potential for a longer term relationship.

 

I think you are sort of right, but at the same time I don't know if I want a girlfriend at the moment, I think I want to have a lot of sex regularly which sounds sad or whatever but that's just how I feel so please don't judge me guys :p but I also think the thing which is nagging me is that she's out having sex with a lot of other guys.

 

I'm mainly concerned that you didn't use condoms. Please don't do that ever again, and you should get tested.

 

Besides that, why is everybody harshing on this girl for what work she does, just because she wanted to have sex all night with a guy she met on a bus?

 

Yeah I should have used something...but I was drunk that first night and didn't know she was an escort then, but in any event I should have used a condom (didn't even have one on me, wasn't expecting to get laid that night lol) Also she said she never does things without a condom so who knows...

 

Just watch out because sex workers always have a "story" to illicit first sympathy and then money from you. And you're nuts not using a condom or even kissing her or anything.

 

One of the most disgusting things I've witnessed that brought me to reality is I was on a tour bus one time and right before the lounge door shut, I could see the band singer looking in the stripper's mouth with a flashlight before he got down to business.

 

Yeah I don't think she is using me for money, I don't give her anything, we just spend time together watching a movie or something, she thinks I'm nice etc but if I'd known what she really does I would have thought twice (maybe)

 

Is she in your league looks-wise? If so, find another girl. If she is much hotter than the avg girl you can get, she's prolly playing you but maybe just enjoy the hot sex for another week or two then hit the brakes.

 

 

I think the rule of thumb is most escorts/hookers will lie, steal, manipulate, etc to get money b/c they need to feed their habit, have serious financial issues or the rare case just love money to buy material things.

 

I don't think she is out of my league at all, I've been with girls much hotter than her face/looks wise (but her body is nice) her face isn't horrible either btw.

 

Yeah I'm not sure why she's doing it or if she has any other motive, I don't think she does, maybe she's emotionally scarred or something I don't know. But I don't think she is after me for $ I'm quite an attractive guy (not to sound big headed) and she said she enjoys spending time with me.

 

I really don't know her story, I know she has a child in her motherland which her mum is looking after which is odd imo, she's over here and has a kid who she doesn't see and doesn't seem too bothered by it....

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She hasn't "really" tried to use you for money. "Usually we just hang out". So there's been the odd occasion when money has come into it and the odd occasion where you don't just hang out? I think you probably know what's going on here.

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Hi there so few weeks ago I met this girl and we started sleeping with each other, have been hanging out a bit here and there usually to have sex or to go out.

 

Thing is she always invites me out with her friends (all girls) which I don't mind.

 

Now here's the kicker and please read this carefully, her job is an escort, I do NOT pay for anything of hers, I don't buy her anything, she's not trying to hook me in to be one of her clients or anything associated with games escorts may play. We are just two people who genuinely met each other and get along.

 

I personally don't have strong feelings for her and she's quite hard to read but I don't think she does either, like sometimes when we go out she purposely flirts with guys in front of me to get a reaction usually when that happens, I just make out with one of her friends lol.

 

Now the question I want to ask is this; We hadn't spoke all week and then yuesterday she messaged me just saying "Hi" etc and then eventually she said

 

"My friend asked if you are going to be out tomorrow night"

 

I know who her friend is but I won't name her obviously, but thing is me and her friend only know each other because of this girl I'm originally seeing...so why would she want to know if I'm coming out, I don't even have her number or speak to her unless we see each other out and even then we don't speak much? Is this a way for her to act like she's not interested when really it's her who's asking me to come out but she doesn't want to be so blatant?

Edited by BadMistakes
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Versacehottie

hmmm, well sorry if her job is an escort then I don't think you can expect things to go down as they generally would for other relationships. I think there is a desensitization about with how they process their feelings (or rather keep them removed from the rest of the physical). Not judging but I'm going to guess that the generalized straightforward path that is taken between most normal relationships doesn't quite apply here. I mean if you think about it, her whole job is about "playing games". So she may actually like you but fall back on just her normal way of speaking to a guy, teasing or whatever. Sounds a bit murky bringing up the friend. If you actually don't care that much about her, I don't really see why you are worried about it. Just move in a straightforward direction yourself. maybe that's part of the problem: that you either aren't being honest with yourself about your real feelings about her OR that deep down it's a bit tricky to navigate a relationship where you don't actually care about someone or respect them, I'm guessing. What do you think is going on?

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Even though you met on genuine terms, and she doesn't make you pay for sex, are you fine and open minded enough to accept that she's a full time escort and is seeing a number of men every week ?

 

Romance between escorts and clients happen, here you are not even a client so odds are in your favor, however I wouldn't get too attached as, though I deeply respect women choosing this path - she's a bit fooling you around with her friends. I don't think she's being mean. But this relationship you are describing here is more FWB than anything.

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The way I see it, you are temporary/casual/FWB which means you are still available. I suspect her friend is interested.

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So much negativity. Jeez, escorts can still have feelings, still want a relationship where genuine feelings are involved. Her profession likely makes her poor girlfriend material, but she's still a person with feelings.

 

I've been friends with an escort. She was adamant about me never even buying her a drink. Hell she had way more money than me anyways, always had a stack of 100's and 20's in her purse.

 

It's not all bad. A girl like that has connections. Guys flying her out to Vegas and New York to spend a weekend together. Guys with money and business connections...one can see how being friends with such a woman could prove useful.

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She hasn't "really" tried to use you for money. "Usually we just hang out". So there's been the odd occasion when money has come into it and the odd occasion where you don't just hang out? I think you probably know what's going on here.

 

No money has never come into it, in fact I think she's paid for more stuff for me than I have for her like on nights out etc she will just buy drinks for me, she pays for her own stuff and as courtesy I do buy drinks back or get food for the way home etc...I'm from UK and we use bad words in bad places so it doesn't make sense sometimes!

 

For example when I say "Usually we just hang out" that just means "we just hang out" as opposed to going clubbing etc

 

hmmm, well sorry if her job is an escort then I don't think you can expect things to go down as they generally would for other relationships. I think there is a desensitization about with how they process their feelings (or rather keep them removed from the rest of the physical). Not judging but I'm going to guess that the generalized straightforward path that is taken between most normal relationships doesn't quite apply here. I mean if you think about it, her whole job is about "playing games". So she may actually like you but fall back on just her normal way of speaking to a guy, teasing or whatever. Sounds a bit murky bringing up the friend. If you actually don't care that much about her, I don't really see why you are worried about it. Just move in a straightforward direction yourself. maybe that's part of the problem: that you either aren't being honest with yourself about your real feelings about her OR that deep down it's a bit tricky to navigate a relationship where you don't actually care about someone or respect them, I'm guessing. What do you think is going on?

 

I think I am lying to myself to some extent. I found out this weekend that she does like me and also found out some stuff from her past which she usually never speaks to me about, she's usually quite closed off when it comes to her personal/past life.

 

Anyway about the teasing part, her and her friend do make fun of me a lot which I find really annoying lol but at the same time I just try to see the funny side but yeah I dunno why they do that.

 

Even though you met on genuine terms, and she doesn't make you pay for sex, are you fine and open minded enough to accept that she's a full time escort and is seeing a number of men every week ?

 

Romance between escorts and clients happen, here you are not even a client so odds are in your favor, however I wouldn't get too attached as, though I deeply respect women choosing this path - she's a bit fooling you around with her friends. I don't think she's being mean. But this relationship you are describing here is more FWB than anything.

 

The way I see it, you are temporary/casual/FWB which means you are still available. I suspect her friend is interested.

 

Yeah I don't know really, it's not like I don't know what she's doing so that makes it not as bad if that makes any sense...like for me it's worse if I find out way later. This way I know what I've signed up for.

 

Also her and her friend did say she likes me + she is always inviting me to come and chill out with her now, I think she just said "my friend is asking if you're out" because she was to "proud" to ask herself for lack of a better word and just how I suspected.

 

Also do you know why she is being mean sometimes? Her and her friend I hung out with yesterday didn't shy away from making fun of me when they got the chance...I don't know if they're serious or joking sometimes it feels a bit belittling to be honest.

 

So much negativity. Jeez, escorts can still have feelings, still want a relationship where genuine feelings are involved. Her profession likely makes her poor girlfriend material, but she's still a person with feelings.

 

I've been friends with an escort. She was adamant about me never even buying her a drink. Hell she had way more money than me anyways, always had a stack of 100's and 20's in her purse.

 

It's not all bad. A girl like that has connections. Guys flying her out to Vegas and New York to spend a weekend together. Guys with money and business connections...one can see how being friends with such a woman could prove useful.

 

I think they do get a bad name but I don't blame people for thinking so. It seems they do live a good life sometimes but I don't think all the time, she does get a lot of gifts etc but she told me she feels awkward a lot of the time, like there are some guys she only goes on dates with and they buy her stuff, give her money etc but she says those are really lonely men.

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