I think I'm in love with my best friend

[bigslice38]

Hey everyone. This my first time on any kind of forum, but I figured this was the best way to get advice without being scammed. Also, I wasn't sure if this should go here or in the Friendships forums. It kinda applies to both.

 

Hey guys, I'm just here to vent. Feel free to comment on this if you would like.

 

So today, I had my heart broken in a way I haven't felt in a long time. First off you should know that I'm an aspiring [YouTuber]. I want that to be my career someday and this fact is very much a part of this entry.

 

I think I'm in love with my best friend. She and another of my friends have been dating for 6 years and recently broke up. I've always viewed, let's call her Julie for the sake of her identity, as a sister because she was dating my best friend, let's call him Jack. They recently broke up and all of sudden I started having these feelings about Julie that I didn't really understand. It's this rush of butterflies I haven't felt since I was abusing vyvanse, but it was occurring naturally. I didn't know what I was feeling, but I couldn't get Julie out of my head. I still can't. I didn't want to pursue anything because she and Jack had just broken up.

 

The night before the time of this writing, she invited me and a couple other friends to go hang out at her house. I, as an aspiring YouTuber, was running out of videos to edit and post and needed to record. I told her that it would depend on what I get done and then I'd let her know. I get some recording done and she texts me asking what the plans were looking like...

 

NOTE: Now, at this point, I decided that I was going to be there for her and let whatever happens happen and deal with the consequences then. I decided I wanted to slowly win her over and see where it could lead. I feel like I'm betraying Jack by doing that, but I feel like it's healthier for my own sake to do what my heart felt like it needed. I want to be with Julie.

 

...Last night, I made the decision to continue recording and hang out with Julie today. I got a good 6 hours worth of footage recorded which I'm proud of doing...but it came with a cost greater than I could've imagined. Last night, she went to meet up with another friend and her group. That's where Julie met Todd (again, a fake name in this case for the person's identity). She is head over heels for this guy. And he's a good guy it seems but he's not...me. I want her to be happy which is why it hurts so much. Not only is Todd a seemingly good guy, but she met him last night. Why? Because I chose to record instead of hang out with her. She never would've met Todd if I halted recording and put videos up a day late...she wouldn't have slipped completely through my fingers...and it hurts.

 

I'm asking for advice. How should I deal with this? I told Julie after she and Jack broke up that I'd always be just a text or a phone call away. Should I just continue hiding in the friendzone and hope (selfishly) that she and Todd don't end up together? I don't know how to deal with this situation. Anyone who has been through something like this, please help. It's killing me.

Edited October 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redacted personal information ~6

[Nowty V]

It's not good to hit on your friends ex girlfriend.

 

Todd may be a rebound thing.

 

You showed her you didn't care that much by fiddling around with your computer.

[Miss Clavel]

you want your career to be a youtuber and to that end you spent your time on work. maybe she is interested in todd cuz you didn't show and she wants to get back at you. either way, she just got out of a very very ltr and more then likely it's a rebound.

[Midnight_Madness]

Hi,

 

Reverse view of this situation; I'm a female whom is single and have been mildly interested in one or two of my available male friends before. I didn't want to make the first move because I didn't want to do something that may unbalance our friendship. However, I would have dated a friend if they had made the first move.

Note; There are some of my male friends I can never see myself dating as our interests and style of life are too different.

 

Moral of my reply; You're female friend may be interested in you too, if this is the case you may only find out by showing your interest and asking her out. But it may also make your friendship awkward for a while.

 

Best of luck in the future ?

[preraph]

If her ex is a close friend of yours, you shouldn't date her anyway. If you think he wouldn't mind, which is very doubtful, then the only thing to do is say, "Julie, now that you're single, I want to take you on a date. How about Friday?" and she will probably just laugh at you, but it's the only way.