BlueCyborg Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 I have become good friends with a female co-worker that I met about a year ago, we talk almost everyday and sometimes via text in the evenings. She is currently separated from her husband (by several states). She doesn't tell me too much except that she has hope still although she no longer wears her rings. The situations bothers her she won't bend my ear even though I have offered several times to have a beer and chat. She always listens to my stories and seems genuinely interested. As a betting man, I would wager a significant amount that she likes me quite a bit. Feels like we have great chemistry. I have asked but she won't tell me how she feels. I have told her I like her. I just don't understand why she won't tell me details of private stuff even though I shared mine with her. Embarrassed maybe? afraid of being hurt more because...... .......I guess I should mention I am currently in a very rocky marriage and am in work on an exit strategy. My new friend is not the cause, but she has helped me to see the light. Flags all over the field I know. Link to post Share on other sites
indeed7 Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Maybe she doesn't want to say anything as long as you are still in that marriage (even though it's rocky)... Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 She probably doesn't want to do anything at this point because you're both still married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 She may just be needing a male friendship. Since she is still holding out hope for a reconciliation with her husband, she isn't looking for a relationship but does enjoy the attention. It is very possible that it is because you're married that she feels "safer" than she would befriending a single guy. The fact that she won't talk about the details of her marriage/separation could be because she still feels a commitment to her marriage and is unwilling to betray loyalty to her husband. Perhaps you should consider following suit and discuss your marital problems with your wife instead of a woman you're crushing on. If you can't do that, then get a divorce. You are playing a dangerous game and may well find yourself going through a nasty divorce only to end up losing both your wife and your friend. You need to take a step back from this woman and focus on resolving your marital issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueCyborg Posted September 14, 2016 Author Share Posted September 14, 2016 She may just be needing a male friendship. Since she is still holding out hope for a reconciliation with her husband, she isn't looking for a relationship but does enjoy the attention. It is very possible that it is because you're married that she feels "safer" than she would befriending a single guy. The fact that she won't talk about the details of her marriage/separation could be because she still feels a commitment to her marriage and is unwilling to betray loyalty to her husband. Perhaps you should consider following suit and discuss your marital problems with your wife instead of a woman you're crushing on. If you can't do that, then get a divorce. You are playing a dangerous game and may well find yourself going through a nasty divorce only to end up losing both your wife and your friend. You need to take a step back from this woman and focus on resolving your marital issues. Good thoughts..... I mentioned above I am working an exit strategy already. Just trying to figure her out.... I know, I know, that is an impossible task... Link to post Share on other sites
Bee4Shine Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Honestly you are playing with fire. Even if she did like you, even if there was a possibility both of you are entering yet another relationship with unresolved issues. The time that is necessary to move on cannot be underestimated in its value. If you really care about people and yourself, give them time to move on from a past relationship. Just be friends. Just "be" yourself and process your own issues so that you can eventually enter a healthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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