slapshot1069 Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Hello, this is my first post, I've searched the internet over and over for advice on my situation but I figured why not post on a forum to try and get a little more detailed advice/responses. I dated a woman for just about 1 year. Before we dated we were practically best friends for close to 2 years. Our break up was rather confusing to me as we were all set to move in together. She told me she started to freak out a little due to the fact she's been living alone for over 5 years and her being independent is a big part of her life. I think she thought her refusing to live together was going to drive me away, which I assured her it wouldn't. Well none the less she decided we should end the relationship. I went no contact for about 4-5 months. She broke NC with me by texting me out of the blue about a story she read online about a common interest of ours. So a conversation started and we started having nightly text conversations. I should add, even when we were dating our preferred form of communicating, when we weren't in each other's company, was texting. I guess you can say we went back to being best friends at this point. Fast forward a year and half later, present day. We still communicate on a daily basis. She dated some guy for 8 months during this re-found friendship between her and I and recently(2 months) ago became single again. We still text ALL the time. Recently we had a "fight" over something minor. We resolved the small issue but she told me it still hurt her that we went through that. She told me we can't fight anymore because if it wasn't for me she's not sure how she would get through her bad days. Sorry for getting long winded there...I guess I will get to my question. I obviously still have more than friend feelings for her and I'm 100% sure she knows. I want to go on being more than just friends but I'm afraid that would ruin the friendship and I'd lose her forever if I mention it to her. I just don't know what to do. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Dude, this sounds more like being an emotional crutch than a friend. She is a texting buddy. Have you guys hung out together? If not, then you get my point. Don't be a cellular therapist. She seems to make ALL the rules... 1) We're in a relationship and set to move in together...Nope. 2) We're no longer in a relationship 3) She breaks contact probably when the honeymoon stage of her new relationship is ending...with an article and you jump right back into contact. 4) You can't have any fights or disagreements "because if it wasn't for me she's not sure how she would get through her bad days"??? How did she get through them during those 4-5 months of NC and the development of a new relationship?? If ALL you wanted was friendship, I'd suggest making sure you have unlimited text messaging and continue as you are. But if you want her back, then you have to cut the 4G LTE therapy sessions (no guarantees though). Link to post Share on other sites
Author slapshot1069 Posted August 18, 2016 Author Share Posted August 18, 2016 As far as hanging out together, yes we have, I see her 5 days a week. I've even stayed the night with her on a few occasions, not intimately. The thing is I know she still has feelings for me and I think she is just afraid to let them out right now. Don't ask me how I know I've known her long enough to just know I guess. I'm just worried that if I try to rekindle any kind of romance it's going to drive her away for good right now, but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold off. I love this woman and sadly think I always will. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 I hear ya...but the answer to a question not asked is always no. I'd distance myself a bit and let her know, so that I could prepare if she decided she didn't see me like that anymore. But go for it man...life is short. Just try not to be her rebound. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 I had a friend for 3 years who then divorced and insisted we be something more. I wasn't comfortable with it but gave it a shot. It didn't work out. When it was over, I would gladly have gone back to being friends, but he couldn't do it. The resentment came out each time we talked. So yes, she probably just misses you as a friend. Certainly if she wants anything more, the ball is in her court to tell you that. Meanwhile, if this is going to keep you from moving on and finding someone new, you should tell her you can't be friends and that you need no contact to move on. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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