Is my FWB playing a game or does he want more?

[Eel751]

We dated, for a good 4 months but then something happened where we now are as he calls it, "good friends who have fun". I've opened him up and expanded his emotional intelligence. By that I mean, to him I am very emotionally supportive. He's gone through depression when his ex who was his first gf cheated on him with his good friend. He does say he blamed himself for it. I have depression swings myself so I know exactly how that feels and no one deserves to feel that.

 

We've had emotional conversations. He's told me he's always felt comfortable around me. Like I know all his **** he goes through like how his mom is cheating on his step-father and how he comes home angry because his mom just leaves and doesn't say where she's going. He calls me to talk about his personal life and I've got him 100%. I'm a good listener and actually I'm a Human Services major. So basically he calls himself a "baby back bitch" so he's sensitive.

 

At college when we were in the process of transitioning to FWB. I still had strong feelings for him but he wanted to just be friends. That really made me actually depressed. So whatever we still hung out as friends until school ended. At that point I was glad it was summer so I could focus on myself. 2.5 weeks later he's like "I miss you, I wanna see you." so I visited him. He said, "Let's not wait this long to see each other" So he visited me last weekend. I've been busy the last few weekends so I couldn't visit him. We had a streak going but I was busy. Now he won't visit me but he wants me to visit him. He knows I'm not working until next week so he's like, "Why don't you stay at my house and I'll come home from work and we can hang out." I couldn't and he's like, "Do you never want to see me again?" and I was like, "Well, if you want it to be that way then fine." there was a slight pause between the both of us, and he says, "Pleaseeee I wanna see my best friend!!" We playfully argue about that.

 

I swear every time I write up a post on here looking for advice, he texts me.. I ended up meeting him where we met before when we were together. He brought pillows and a blanket in his car so we could relax. We ended up having sex, oops I kinda wanted it. He was tired though. He compliments me on my hair and he's all smiley around me. He's constantly kissing me when we just hangout. One thing that got me was after we did it, he's just kissing me and we'ere cuddling but he asks, "So what do you want to do when we get back to college?" I was like, what do you mean?" he said, "Do you wanna keep doing this?" And I answer with a, "Yeah" but like it wasn't too sincere. He's like, "Well, let me know if you don't." I said, "Ok". This was confusing because is he indirectly asking for more or less? Is it, let me know because I want to be with you? I feel like if a guy asks you about the future, he wants you in it. I'll have to directly ask him. But honestly, I didn't feel anything between us, maybe it was the fact that we were tired. He seems to be happy around me though, more than when we were together..

[NTV]

Wow, I think you 're confused about the whole FWB thing. You're dating right now. That's not a FWB thing. You might not both be exclusive, but it's not the platonic friend relationship with random bouts of banging that go along with the FWB.

 

 

So, in this case, my suggestion is to institute rules that you can both live with. For example 'when we get back to college we will officially date for two months and then decide if we want to continue or go back to the norm.' etc. etc.

 

 

And of course he's unclear about what he wants... he risks losing what he has with you if you don't want the same thing, right? So he's got to tread carefully. An 'I want us to be together' could be to strong and scare you away and an "I just want to bang and nothing else' could come across disrespectful, and scare you away and 'I don't wanna bang but still want to hang out like friends' could mean that you will bang other dude(s) and forget about him. Tough place to be on top of all the crap with his family.

[Eel751]

Wow, I think you 're confused about the whole FWB thing. You're dating right now. That's not a FWB thing. You might not both be exclusive, but it's not the platonic friend relationship with random bouts of banging that go along with the FWB.

 

 

So, in this case, my suggestion is to institute rules that you can both live with. For example 'when we get back to college we will officially date for two months and then decide if we want to continue or go back to the norm.' etc. etc.

 

 

And of course he's unclear about what he wants... he risks losing what he has with you if you don't want the same thing, right? So he's got to tread carefully. An 'I want us to be together' could be to strong and scare you away and an "I just want to bang and nothing else' could come across disrespectful, and scare you away and 'I don't wanna bang but still want to hang out like friends' could mean that you will bang other dude(s) and forget about him. Tough place to be on top of all the crap with his family.

 

It sucks.. He texted me after I said I was going to bed last night and he's like, "ok babe. See you later. Have a good night (my name) :)" He hasn't called me a pet name in a month.. I don't know if he's hinting he wants me to be his girl or what.

 

I'd like to add, the reason why we down graded to fwb is what we call it but when I tried breaking up with him because he visited his ex over spring break, he told me he still wanted me around and I thought that wasn't fair for me. Yet nothing changed for us he said he didn't want anything to change. Now he's so happy when he's around me and I felt good for a while like it could work out but now the feeling seems lost.

 

I still care about him and a small part of me wants to still be with him but I just don't know how to feel with him anymore. I know it shouldn't be forced. Like we just cuddled in his car and I didn't feel anything. He kept kissing me and I felt like he did that because he felt me slipping away. Because that's when he asked what we wanted to be at college. But would a guy fake happiness around a girl? Like I could be his best friend and he could think I'm cute but why does he keep kissing me?? Friends don't do that this makes me so depressed and scared but as of now, I feel him slowly slipping away that I need to move on but I just can't .

[NTV]

So what do you really want? If it's him, can you trust him to be loyal?

[PogoStick]

If you want to know what he wants THEN ASK HIM! My guess is that he likes you, likes having sex with you, and that he hopes you can continue the situation without commitment so he can still chase other women back at college. But seriously, only one way to find out.