Jump to content

Signals from female friend, I reciprocate... radio silence


Recommended Posts

planb1973

I have been friends with this woman since we were children. We are both in our 40's and I have always had a bit of a crush on her, but never told her.

 

She got divorced last year and we started hanging out more. I happen to have broken up with my GF last month, and we have been spending even more time together.

 

Just days before I became single I got a complete random text from her saying "I love you, what are you doing, you should come over." I was shocked as I had never heard her say anything like that. I did nothing as I was still in a rs but teased her for drunk texting me the next day.

 

So since then I swear she has been dropping hints at me. like casually touching me, lots of "I love you so much." texts, mentioning how happy she is we are both single, something about me being tall dark and handsome...

 

During a 2 hour phone conversation on my Bday I told her I had started writing her a letter to let her know how much I appreciate her, and that I see so much love pouring out of her and that I love her. She go teary and said she would still love to get the letter. So I wrote the most heart felt letter to a friend I have ever written. I had to text her for her address and got a rapid response filled with hearts and kissy faces.

 

In the letter I told her how much I appreciated our lifetime friendship how she is family to me, how amazing of a woman she has become, how I find her beautiful inside and out, and ended it with "I love you with all my heart forever."

 

I sent the letter and heard nothing for 10 days. Maybe it got lost in the mail? 2 days ago I followed up with a text asking if she go my letter. Nothing.

 

I am feeling really hurt and confused right now. I did not say anything in the letter that she has not already expressed to me. But why the silence from her?

Link to post
Share on other sites
privategal

Im going to guess she took "your family to me" as forever friendzoning her.

Call her and ask her out.

No more text or letters, get it on the table.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Im going to guess she took "your family to me" as forever friendzoning her.

Call her and ask her out.

No more text or letters, get it on the table.

 

100% this.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, but what is the follow-up to be, "I meant the kind of family you have incest with?"

 

It's possible she did take it to mean that. It's also possible you were right and she was drunk-texting. It's also possible she got back together with someone. Call her on the phone and ask if she's okay and tell her that although she is like family to you, you didn't mean it to preclude romance.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
planb1973

I really thought the letter I wrote was opening up the door for a romantic interest without dropping a bomb on her. We have always referred to each other as family. I guess I just don't know how to cross that line.

 

I did just call but it went to voicemail, as in she declined answering. But I left a message asking if she was OK and to give me a call.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Other than running away from her screaming if she tried to touch you in person I cannot think of a worse way you could of handled this.

 

seriously, you rejected her then friendzoned her all in one shot.

With a letter.

 

At least, that is how she views it.

Edited by phineas
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
planb1973

Well apparently I messed up big time with her. I cant even eat I am so torn up over this. But her refusing to communicate with me is not helping either.

 

I don't think that I am the only one to blame here though. Getting signals from her are one thing, and could be interpenetrated as friendliness. She refers to me as her brother. Add to this that two weeks ago she, without me asking, set me up on a date with one of her friends. And half the time we hang out her FWB is there. If in fact she has a romantic interest in me, then why the mixed signals?

 

At this point there is nothing for me to do. I am ready to lay it out on the table, but I cant until she contacts me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Darren Steez

Do you love her or what?

 

No really.. not digging you out or anything but how old are you? Seems to me it wasn't until she initiated the romantic side that you seemed to play along..even then why write a letter then not come out and fully state how you really feel?

 

You wrote the letter as a nice guy..full of nice romantic things you'd think a woman like to hear. She's been around the block and more importantly she's a woman, so most likely she's been hit on plenty of times and has probably heard every come on line, every degree of romantic "heartfelt" expression of limerence known to man.. in other words as some people call it.. you were BS'ing.

 

Again I ask if you truly loved her or could see yourself getting into a relationship with her. I think the latter, and if so why not just tell her that without the rose bushy, unicorn utterances? You did in a round about way friend zone her, not your fault but again I think it comes from not being straight to the point and honest.

 

I'd just call her, leave a voice mail, not kissing her a** or apologizing or groveling/needy, be serious and address the letter saying she needs to call you so you can talk seriously and clear the air.

 

Then leave it at that, she either calls or she doesn't and if she does then tell her how you really feel not what you think she wants to hear.

 

Good luck!

Link to post
Share on other sites

If she's trying to set you up on dates, she isn't interested romantically. If she calls you her brother, she isn't interested romantically. Sounds like she may have had a weak moment on the rebound and now regrets she got you stirred up. You've done all you can do by calling her. If she is so flustered that she can't even respond to you, there is certainly no saving it. Sorry.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...