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I Like my friends Bf ( Read entire thing before replying )


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Dont have many friends.. I Have known my best friend for about 3 years we live a few streets down but we attend to dif schools and well.. She is always down in the dumps for no reason she get upset over nothing and starts ranting about how **** her life is when its totally fine and that just pulls me down beacuse when im upset she says how her life is much worse and its not, we all have problems sometimes, Im also an ''Artist'' shes way better and well is more of an expert but when i make something for her she doesnt say thanks, and just points out all the mistakes. That kind of makes me a bit upset and makes me doubt my art skills. The more important reason is.. There was a guy who asked me to be his girlfriend from my school and well i said No beacuse i needed more time to know him, We soon became really close friends[Lovers] and could trust eachother with anything no matter what. He helped me during my depression and helped me get over my cutting habit. But..He got really attached to me and would talk to me 24/7 and I was going through some hard times and I wasnt ready to be in a relationship (I was 14) I Felt wayyy to young and my parents are really strict about everyting.. So stupid me made a group with him and my bestfriend and.. well all 3 of us talked online it was great! I saw no harm in that one day my friend used my phone to check her facebook and forgot to log out, Later i get a message i check it and its from him. BUT i found out it was her fb he was messaging and she was telling him that i got mad about everything and he said that i didnt care about him and that i seemed to like my other school friend. I Got mad and told him that he needed to stop and that i was never going to be his girlfriend. IDK. So during the entire summer we stopped talking (I Went to my grandmothers farm no wifi) I felt bad for saying that and wanted to message him but i had no Wifi or signal to contact him with, So when school starts again.. I FIND OUT HE WAS NOW DATING MY BEST FRIEND.AND SHE DIDNT TELL ME. SHE EVEN SAID SHE WASNT.LIKE WHY? THEY WERE THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.

 

 

BUT I CANT ARGUE BEACUSE I TOLD HIM WE WOULD NEVER BE A THING.

But i think she should have not have done it. Its just not what a bestfriend would do

 

I Its been about 4 months they are still a thing They see eachother about once a month or every two months. They get into small arguements every 3 days and ask me for advice and it just hurts to that.He really loves her and she doesnt seem to even love him as much as he loves her. I talk to them both like nothing happened. I Still love him and get really jealous. he knows i like him and he does things just to prove im still into him. Sometimes we roleplay (Ya know what kind) and it doesnt feel right i feel like im some kind of lover while he has a girlfriend. But i cant help it beacuse deep down she lost my trust and im just upset.

 

What should i do?

She gets upset really easily and i dont want to hurt her by ending the friendship. Im her only and Bestfriend and shes my only close friend.. but at the same time its not the same anymore i cant see her the same way as before.

 

And as for him..IDK.:eek:

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If you wouldn't be his girlfriend, then neither of them has done anything wrong by getting together.

 

And no, I don't know what you mean by "roleplay". Are you having sex with him behind her back?

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I don't like friends who move in on boyfriends, but if you're honest, you must know that you've probably told her over and over you weren't ready to be his girlfriend, just as you've told us here. And you've told him the same thing, and your actions bear that out. Again, I don't like friends who poach, but what else is either of them to think but that you are not interested in him romantically anymore since you never opted to stay with him and take it to the next level. I think I would keep my antennae up on her going forward and even tell her that you don't like poachers and she better never do it again and lie to you, but not sure it merits kicking either out of your life. You say she tells you their fights and all, but you also told her yours, right? However, since you had prior involvement, you should tell them both "Hey, don't put me in the middle."

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She's not a good friend. She should have discussed dating him with you before she did it.

 

 

Now however he is her BF. You had your chance with him but chose to be his friend. You can't go back now but you do not have to continue being friends with him either because his behavior was equally slimy.

 

 

I am way more concerned about you cutting. I get that your parents are strict but they are that way because they love you. Talk to them about your cutting. They can help

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I don't like friends who move in on boyfriends, but if you're honest, you must know that you've probably told her over and over you weren't ready to be his girlfriend, just as you've told us here. And you've told him the same thing, and your actions bear that out. Again, I don't like friends who poach, but what else is either of them to think but that you are not interested in him romantically anymore since you never opted to stay with him and take it to the next level. I think I would keep my antennae up on her going forward and even tell her that you don't like poachers and she better never do it again and lie to you, but not sure it merits kicking either out of your life. You say she tells you their fights and all, but you also told her yours, right? However, since you had prior involvement, you should tell them both "Hey, don't put me in the middle."

You are right, You really cleared up things for me. THANKS!

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GunslingerRoland

I'm a little confused, so you were sleeping with him, then she started dating him. And now you and him still have sexual roleplay.

 

 

Clearly he wants a little bit of everything. I don't think he cares particularly for either of you...

 

 

I'd probably try to avoid both of them.

 

 

Geez, where is the guy who keeps posting about how teenage relationships are so innocent and pure. lol

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  • 2 weeks later...

There is one thing you've said that I don't think you have paid enough honor to and that is the comment that you were not ready for a relationship.

 

Neither side of this triangle sounds like it's a particularly healthy friendship for you. I'm not saying that you should cut off all contact but, you should set some real boundaries for yourself and enforce the kind of higher conduct standards you deserve.

 

You do not need to hear about their fights, this is just manipulative. Interrupt when this occurs and let the friend know this is a subject you do not want to hear or talk about and they should take it up directly with the other person.

 

You are not required to be anyone's GF or BFF. You are young and you are worthy of choosing who has earned the right to be your friend, hear your story, or share their own. When people drop their baggage with you uninvited, it is perfectly fine to ignore it or hand it back for them to carry on their own.

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