tashfv Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 I have had my guy friend for almost 10 years now and the whole time it was platonic until a couple years ago. I never said anything but would still hang out with him. Thing is more often than not he would only call, msg or see me when he had a problem. Sometimes he would ask how I am but not as often as he would discuss his own issues. It's a little hurtful since I feel like he is just using me. I don't know how to let him go... Link to post Share on other sites
deckard11 Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Just do what most women do, stop talking to him all together with no explanation. Link to post Share on other sites
Cal01 Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 I am in a similar situation, so right off the bat I feel for you. One difference is I use my best female friend back as an emotional crutch, its been that way for awhile. We always mutually went to each other when we were having issues regardless of whether either of us we in a relationship. Do you ever contact him randomly when you have issues to just discuss your problems? A little off topic but if you are going to allow him to come to you all the time for problems, you have to have a level playing field on this I feel. Back on topic, its really difficult when you fall in love with a best platonic friend. I don't want to lose my best friend so I refuse to completely distance myself from her. I have been cutting out some hang out time and I am forcing myself to date again. It has been tough but if its clear a relationship with him won't work or its just off the table, then you have to do what you can to not get hung up on him and date. It may seem like he is the only one out there, but in truth that is completely false. If you feel you can distance yourself from him and aren't so attached the the friendship, that might be the best trick. Do that and date! Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 What kind of problems does this friend discuss with you? Does he have a current girlfriend? Do you have or did you have boyfriends? Why are you still single after 10 years? Answers to these questions may help some of us to give you more relevant advice. However the advice of Cal01 is good and very relevant. Best wishes! Link to post Share on other sites
nightingal Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I sure can feel your pain since am in the same boat as you! But, am partly to be blamed for my issue since I've never expressed how I felt.He tried to be intimate with me a couple of times and I wasn't sure if he was just horny or if he had any feelings towards me. So I never reciprocated and neither did he clarify. Fast forward few months, we hang out all the time, and it hurts like hell. I cannot say how I feel about him since he has started dating other people but at the same time can't spend time with him as there is no hope for us to be together at any point of time in future. I see myself being used all the time, emotional crutch when he has any problems with his girl friends, or if he needs something. And I never will have him around or not even paying attention to any of my problems since he doesn't care. He texts me back right away when he has problems, but other times I will need to wait hours/days to hear back from him. So, don't hurt yourself by continuing this. Start dating other people, distance yourself slowly and trust me , this helps you big time. Hey, can't be worse than losing him to another gal after all the time you both have spent together. Link to post Share on other sites
FastHands Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I think best friends can ultimately fall in love because they know each other so well. Taking a big step and dating probably will go smooth but you will risk the friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
dbruster0902 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Hey there, I'm in a messy situation myself right now that involves my best friend. All I can say when dealing with a best friend and feelings, tread lightly. Its potentially such a painful road to take. I'm living the painful part right now. Yes, you may have amazing times together and be incredibly happy, as I was. But, if you break up, it's by far the worst pain in the world. It's a regular breakup times a million. You care about your best friend and not hanging around with them isn't an option for you. Yet, you've broken up. It's a messy, uncomfortable situation. I guess my advice would be to really think it through. I'm wishing I could go back right now. I can't and it's a terrible feeling. On the other side, you could find true happiness. Just really think it through. Link to post Share on other sites
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