Dontfindme Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Hello everyone, This may be in the wrong section, but I need some help. I'm not sure how to cope with the end of the honeymoon stage in my relationship and what to do. It feels like my boyfriend doesn't care as much anymore, I can't help but compare it to what it was earlier - he's just so...realistic now, and it kinda sucks, it almost feels like everything, and everyone else is way more important than our relationship to him and we've taken a backseat. I would like some input on how to be more of an adult on this and handle this better. Please help. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Nilfiry Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 It sounds to me like he has beaten the game, rescued the princess, and now he wants something new. Or maybe he just feels extremely comfortable and relaxed with you now that you two are married. You probably just need to come up with ways to keep the excitement going. Think of ways to bring your relationship to the forefront, such as plan more outings with just the two of you and make sure he comes. The only real adult way to handle the matter is to talk about it with your husband. If you have made it this far, you should be able to put any problems that you have or any worries that you feel forward in your talks with him without fear. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dontfindme Posted January 15, 2016 Author Share Posted January 15, 2016 It sounds to me like he has beaten the game, rescued the princess, and now he wants something new. Or maybe he just feels extremely comfortable and relaxed with you now that you two are married. You probably just need to come up with ways to keep the excitement going. Think of ways to bring your relationship to the forefront, such as plan more outings with just the two of you and make sure he comes. The only real adult way to handle the matter is to talk about it with your husband. If you have made it this far, you should be able to put any problems that you have or any worries that you feel forward in your talks with him without fear. I'm sorry, I may have miscommunicated it, we're not actually married. I meant "honeymoon phase" as in - the crazy, in love phase. Link to post Share on other sites
Nilfiry Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Ah. Well, talking to him is still the adult way to approach it, but this does make your situation simpler! He may just be tired of you and wants something new. The excitement of a new relationship only lasts so long. However, you also have to ask yourself whether you are being too needy, and if it is really as bad as you say. Perception makes a difference. To rephrase, being able to talk about anything and everything you want without fear will be a good sign of whether he is someone that you can work with in the long run. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 People are generally on their best behavior and doing what they think the other one wants in the very early stages and at some point they finally begin to show you who they really are and what level of interest and interaction they can sustain. Now you know who he really is. Either you love him as is and live with it or decide, Hey, this isn't enough, and move on. Nothing wrong with either. But remember the early guy isn't the real one. The longer you know them, that is the realer version. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 People are generally on their best behavior and doing what they think the other one wants in the very early stages and at some point they finally begin to show you who they really are and what level of interest and interaction they can sustain. Now you know who he really is. Either you love him as is and live with it or decide, Hey, this isn't enough, and move on. Nothing wrong with either. But remember the early guy isn't the real one. The longer you know them, that is the realer version. I was going to post something similar. I think you are just getting a glace into who he really is now. You need to decide what you are willing to put up with. If it's a little different it might not be a big deal. But if he's constantly putting other things ahead of you rather than trying to make time and incorporating you into his life that't not a good sign. I agree with the others. The only way to know for sure is to talk with him. Then I would watch his actions to see if he follows through with anything he promises from your discussion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
solway86 Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 The end of honeymoon period applies in other areas of life - business deals, buying a new house or car etc. but it's harder when dealing with it in a relationship context. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dontfindme Posted January 17, 2016 Author Share Posted January 17, 2016 Thank you all for the advice, it's not what I wanted to hear, but probably what I needed to. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 Hello DFM Well.... There are always periods of so called normality in a RS. You need a balance between total `seat of your pants` thrills to a cup of tea and a life affirming movie on a wet and dull Sunday afternoon...(Which is on my agenda today) However when someone stops trying to impress me i feel taken for granted. Obviously i don`t mean `she` must regale me with tales of her `angling` prowess or cut up my toast into soldiers of varying ranks and abilities. I think you should start to do your own things (New things) see if he notices your new found interests etc... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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