Pursue or Drop? Strung along and going insane :(

[Swan89]

I met a girl in University and we were dating for around 2 months. I like her but I found out she suffers from depression and has issues from her last relationship (about 9 months ago). She went through a couple of weeks where her depression seemed to hit hard and made her a little tough to be around at times.

One night, she was being really cold and snappy with people and I made the mistake of sending her a lengthy text to confront her about her behaviour and she broke it off with me. That was two months ago and I tried my best to show how sorry I was and that I should have realised she was suffering. In spite of her problem, I still adore this girl.

 

We've been stuck in this dating 'Limbo' where we casually dated and she broke it off with me again for telling her that I felt ignored because she barely gave me any attention. She doesn't want to date me but she occasionally has slept with me and wants to be my friend, we can't seem to stop being in contact for more than a few days. The reason I'm confused is that we've talked and she says she does like me, that she feels safe with me and has fun. We're both physically attracted to each other and I feel there is chemistry too so I think this is all her own issues stopping her.

Ironically, she seemed extremely into me at first and she told me I needed to stop playing it cool with her and after this situation, the tables turned and I began to show her how into her I was and made a lot of effort to make her feel special.

 

I'm not really able to talk to her about my feelings anymore because it pushes her away and she's been telling me 'lets see what happens'.

But the truth is, I don't know if I should even bother If I can't feel confident that pursuing her will get me anywhere. I've tried not talking to her for a few days and it seemed to work, she started flirting with me and initiated contact... But the annoying thing is, she expects me to make the first move, but why would I when I've pursued her with not much reciprocation? She said she doesn't want one night stands with random people and I agreed the same, but we haven't agreed to be 'FWB's.

 

I've only known her for 4 months but I don't even want to live the single life and meet new women because I'm stuck on her and am convinced that with time she will be ready to open her heart to me, but this may NEVER happen and I could be wasting my time.

Edited January 9, 2016 by Swan89

[Montgomery Burns]

I met a girl in University and we were dating for around 2 months. I like her but I found out she suffers from depression and has issues from her last relationship (about 9 months ago). She went through a couple of weeks where her depression seemed to hit hard and made her a little tough to be around at times.

One night, she was being really cold and snappy with people and I made the mistake of sending her a lengthy text to confront her about her behaviour and she broke it off with me. That was two months ago and I tried my best to show how sorry I was and that I should have realised she was suffering. In spite of her problem, I still adore this girl.

 

We've been stuck in this dating 'Limbo' where we casually dated and she broke it off with me again for telling her that I felt ignored because she barely gave me any attention. She doesn't want to date me but she occasionally has slept with me and wants to be my friend, we can't seem to stop being in contact for more than a few days. The reason I'm confused is that we've talked and she says she does like me, that she feels safe with me and has fun. We're both physically attracted to each other and I feel there is chemistry too so I think this is all her own issues stopping her.

Ironically, she seemed extremely into me at first and she told me I needed to stop playing it cool with her and after this situation, the tables turned and I began to show her how into her I was and made a lot of effort to make her feel special.

 

I'm not really able to talk to her about my feelings anymore because it pushes her away and she's been telling me 'lets see what happens'.

But the truth is, I don't know if I should even bother If I can't feel confident that pursuing her will get me anywhere. I've tried not talking to her for a few days and it seemed to work, she started flirting with me and initiated contact... But the annoying thing is, she expects me to make the first move, but why would I when I've pursued her with not much reciprocation? She said she doesn't want one night stands with random people and I agreed the same, but we haven't agreed to be 'FWB's.

 

I've only known her for 4 months but I don't even want to live the single life and meet new women because I'm stuck on her and am convinced that with time she will be ready to open her heart to me, but this may NEVER happen and I could be wasting my time.

 

You have a few options.

 

1. Put up with it and suffer.

 

2. Give her an ultimatum and deal with the outcome.

 

3. Cut your losses and move on. Youre in Universityand I assume young. The "single life" is a lot of fun if you give it a try.

[preraph]

If she has some depression issues or maybe even more undiagnosed ones, the thing you need to expect from her to stick around is to make sure she's working with a psychologist/psychiatrist to fix herself. Otherwise, it's not going to get better for long. She may be bipolar or anything. Don't stay if she won't get diagnosed and treated by a mental-health professional, not just her family doctor.