I really like this guy / Mixed Signals

[Montgomery Burns]

Good Evening all. I am hoping that you can shed some light on my situation because it is causing me to not be as focused at work. I am an attractive, successful woman and he is attractive as well. I noticed him right away, that was almost a year ago. I would love to speak with him outside of work. I sit in an area away from him, and recently he has been around more. He always talks to me and will make sure I speak to him by knocking or just standing until I feel him behind me.

 

When we have spoken at length he tells me a lot about himself, his childhood, hobbies etc. and he asks me about myself. He is constantly fidgeting, or accidentally opening and closing something when I am at his desk talking to him. Sometimes though he is silent, it seems like its on purpose he wont look at or acknowledge me, he will be very obvious that he is NOT looking at me. That is usually after speaking or joking at great lengths the day before. When we do talk,he looks at me right in the eyes and really focuses on what I say. A few weeks ago he gave me a silly nickname that he uses when he sees me outside of my area. I can sense when he is around and we always lock eyes. He stares at me a lot.Ugh! I do not want to be inappropriate at work, so if I so say something I want to be sure I am not misreading him. Or should I just leave this to him?

[randomniceguy]

If I've learned anything about relationships it's that everybody is different. However, when I find myself coming to this forum every couple of years, it's generally in search of opinions from people in similar situations or who can identify with a certain behavior and clarify.

 

It could be that he's shy. When I'm into a girl, I become an idiot. I'm so in to them but I will intentionally avoid looking at them when they approach or pretend I don't notice them for a few minutes. I have no idea why I do that, and I wish I wouldn't but it's just a natural reaction out of shyness.

[Snakechammah]

I think I may have linked this once too many times! The next time you speak to him, look our for these telltale signs: 20 Body Language Signs That Mean He's Into You

 

When you're sure enough that he is interested, you can create opportunities for him to ask you out.

 

Encourage him by giving him subtle hints that you are also interested, without going overboard. Seduce him without saying a word.

 

The thing is, don't be too platonic with a guy you want. You need to create an aura that you are desirable, and not just a chitty-chatty friend-friend colleague. Even guys can friendzone a woman, or worse, if they feel that you've friendzoned them, they will be disheartened and look elsewhere. Be the woman they want - not just their ordinary female friends/colleague.

 

Good luck!

[road]

Women are smarter then us so manipulate him to ask you out.

[Montgomery Burns]

If I've learned anything about relationships it's that everybody is different. However, when I find myself coming to this forum every couple of years, it's generally in search of opinions from people in similar situations or who can identify with a certain behavior and clarify.

 

It could be that he's shy. When I'm into a girl, I become an idiot. I'm so in to them but I will intentionally avoid looking at them when they approach or pretend I don't notice them for a few minutes. I have no idea why I do that, and I wish I wouldn't but it's just a natural reaction out of shyness.

 

Youre right, it can be. He dosent seem shy unless its us in front of others. Thank You

[Montgomery Burns]

I think I may have linked this once too many times! The next time you speak to him, look our for these telltale signs: 20 Body Language Signs That Mean He's Into You

 

When you're sure enough that he is interested, you can create opportunities for him to ask you out.

 

Encourage him by giving him subtle hints that you are also interested, without going overboard. Seduce him without saying a word.

 

The thing is, don't be too platonic with a guy you want. You need to create an aura that you are desirable, and not just a chitty-chatty friend-friend colleague. Even guys can friendzone a woman, or worse, if they feel that you've friendzoned them, they will be disheartened and look elsewhere. Be the woman they want - not just their ordinary female friends/colleague.

 

Good luck!

 

Thank You! He does most of those. I smile so much when we talk and he does too. Its like no one else is around. He seemed a littke disappointed when I left work early, buy it might be me misreading. Dont want to make thibgs akward by getting turned down.

[Montgomery Burns]

Women are smarter then us so manipulate him to ask you out.

 

I havr no idea howto manipulate someone intk asking me out.

[road]

I havr no idea howto manipulate someone intk asking me out.

 

 

Then instead of wasting time posting then go the direct route and ask him out.

[Montgomery Burns]

Then instead of wasting time posting then go the direct route and ask him out.

 

 

If it were not for the akwardness at workthat would occur if he declines, I would. Maybe Illbe subtle. Just afraid of rejection.

[smackie9]

Oh good lord just ask him to go with you for a drink after work.

[Montgomery Burns]

Oh good lord just ask him to go with you for a drink after work.

 

FINE! OH so nervous already.

[Jammer25]

Yes indeed, ask him out for a drink. A shy guy often needs that nudge. If you feel like it would be awkward, find a good time when it's just you two within earshot or something.

 

Let us know how it goes!

[Montgomery Burns]

Yes indeed, ask him out for a drink. A shy guy often needs that nudge. If you feel like it would be awkward, find a good time when it's just you two within earshot or something.

 

Let us know how it goes!

 

Will do. Ialready have butterflies.

[Montgomery Burns]

Yes indeed, ask him out for a drink. A shy guy often needs that nudge. If you feel like it would be awkward, find a good time when it's just you two within earshot or something.

 

Let us know how it goes!

 

 

Jammer - just wondering, are his actions different from yours with yoir co-worker? Is he just being nice?

[Jammer25]

Jammer - just wondering, are his actions different from yours with yoir co-worker? Is he just being nice?

 

As a similarly shy, somewhat awkward guy, it sounds like he at least cares about you. Hard to say if it's just friendly or indicative of something more, but I would lean towards saying he likes you too.

 

I tend to focus well on people I care about, otherwise I usually zone out. The nickname and the fact that he gives you undivided attention are good things, especially from a shy guy. He might just be wary about the proximity when you're near his desk or whatnot because of that.

 

I do a lot of the same things with my coworker actually, but I don't feel as shy or awkward around her.

[Montgomery Burns]

As a similarly shy, somewhat awkward guy, it sounds like he at least cares about you. Hard to say if it's just friendly or indicative of something more, but I would lean towards saying he likes you too.

 

I tend to focus well on people I care about, otherwise I usually zone out. The nickname and the fact that he gives you undivided attention are good things, especially from a shy guy. He might just be wary about the proximity when you're near his desk or whatnot because of that.

 

I do a lot of the same things with my coworker actually, but I don't feel as shy or awkward around her.[/quote

 

Thank You]

[Montgomery Burns]

I am officially chickening out.

[preraph]

Here's a little story. A guy I had a lifelong crush on always called me by a nickname he made up. I hadn't seen him in 20-some years when internet searches became possible and I found his resume online. I was talking to a friend of mine saying I was dying to email him or something but that I doubted he'd even remember me. I added, "Hell, I'm not even sure he ever knew my real name. He always called me by a nickname." And my friend said, "People don't give nicknames to people they don't like." I emailed him and heard back in 20 minutes. I entitled my email "People you never wanted to hear from again but always knew you would." We had a little fling. I'm still glowing.

 

Here's the thing. You have a sticky doorknob or need to flip your mattress or clean under your refrigerator and need someone to help you. That's it. You need help. Let him know that. I bet he volunteers.

 

I'll tell you my nickname if you'll tell me yours.

[Montgomery Burns]

Here's a little story. A guy I had a lifelong crush on always called me by a nickname he made up. I hadn't seen him in 20-some years when internet searches became possible and I found his resume online. I was talking to a friend of mine saying I was dying to email him or something but that I doubted he'd even remember me. I added, "Hell, I'm not even sure he ever knew my real name. He always called me by a nickname." And my friend said, "People don't give nicknames to people they don't like." I emailed him and heard back in 20 minutes. I entitled my email "People you never wanted to hear from again but always knew you would." We had a little fling. I'm still glowing.

 

Here's the thing. You have a sticky doorknob or need to flip your mattress or clean under your refrigerator and need someone to help you. That's it. You need help. Let him know that. I bet he volunteers.

 

I'll tell you my nickname if you'll tell me yours.

 

Thats such a sweet story. I gave up because I cant work up enough to approach him like that. It would be so embarassing. And since hes all but ignored me yesterday and today I am a bit upset. Pretty sure it was just in my head. It still feels like a punch in the gut.

[preraph]

Even rank disinterest does not stop a girl from needing a volunteer to come over and help her see if there's a leak under the refrigerator. just sayin.

[Montgomery Burns]

Even rank disinterest does not stop a girl from needing a volunteer to come over and help her see if there's a leak under the refrigerator. just sayin.

 

Thats true. I will see what I can do. Makes ir difficult when tge dude is either SUPER TALKATIVE or questionably silent.

 

There are 4 men that are actively wanting to go out with me, but I dont feel the same way. Maybe I will juat explore my options..lol

[preraph]

There you go!

[Montgomery Burns]

Here's a little story. A guy I had a lifelong crush on always called me by a nickname he made up. I hadn't seen him in 20-some years when internet searches became possible and I found his resume online. I was talking to a friend of mine saying I was dying to email him or something but that I doubted he'd even remember me. I added, "Hell, I'm not even sure he ever knew my real name. He always called me by a nickname." And my friend said, "People don't give nicknames to people they don't like." I emailed him and heard back in 20 minutes. I entitled my email "People you never wanted to hear from again but always knew you would." We had a little fling. I'm still glowing.

 

Here's the thing. You have a sticky doorknob or need to flip your mattress or clean under your refrigerator and need someone to help you. That's it. You need help. Let him know that. I bet he volunteers.

 

I'll tell you my nickname if you'll tell me yours.

 

Applezauce

[preraph]

***Slick***

[Jammer25]

Noooooooo!

 

The longer you wait the less likely you are to ask him to have a drink. Plus, the relief of knowing one way or the other is better than being left to wonder and stew over it.