agentmichaelscarn Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 After months of denying it internally, I will admit it, i have a crush on my female boss. I can't stop thinking about her. Each time I see her, I couldnt wait to see her again (Now where I did hear that before?) It is the one thing I look forward to every day, anxious to see what she will be wearing and what fragrance will render me weak.. What makes it so tough is that we are already real close friends as we tell each other everything.. I find myself daydreaming and visualizing her and I in a remote area being alone. And with each passing day it gets tougher and tougher because I find myself being a creeper, snagging any pic I can get with the two of us. Does she know how I feel? Im fearful and intrigued at the same time. I find myself getting jealous and angry when she talks to other men. I try my hardest to keep it keep it cool though. There are times where I feel she is interested in me too because she gets quite flirtatious with me and gets upset when other women are brought up and show an interest in me, but I dont know want to do. I know I cant act on anything as it will be career suicide. Guess I will have to suffer in silence! Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 There are times where I feel she is interested in me too because she gets quite flirtatious with me and gets upset when other women are brought up and show an interest in me That is probably you projecting and more wishful thinking... but I dont know want to do. Get a new job. I know I cant act on anything as it will be career suicide. At least you aren't considering making a move on her! Guess I will have to suffer in silence! You *do* have options. Again, start looking for a new job... Remove yourself from the unhealthy situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GingerVixen Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Damn, I didn't want to be in your shoes. What can I say? Try dating other people. Will that make you forget her? No. But at least you won't spend every single minute thinking about her. But are you sure you're so fond of her or isn't it purely sexual attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentmichaelscarn Posted January 1, 2016 Author Share Posted January 1, 2016 Damn, I didn't want to be in your shoes. What can I say? Try dating other people. Will that make you forget her? No. But at least you won't spend every single minute thinking about her. But are you sure you're so fond of her or isn't it purely sexual attraction? You're probably right that is purely sequel attraction. We've worked a lot of long hours together over the course of the past year. It's just strange that hit me so suddenly. Never really saw her in this light up until the past few months. Link to post Share on other sites
Beach Guy Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 She probably wouldn't get involved with you currently due to professionalism reasons/conflict of interest. Get another position first, then ask her out. She might say yes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 Ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentmichaelscarn Posted January 1, 2016 Author Share Posted January 1, 2016 Thanks for all the advice thus far. It sure is tough, let me tell ya. We spent a good chunk of the day today texting back and forth about meeting up at a new years parade. Unfortunately, I was with my niece all day and couldn't make it (although I did try to talk her into going, nothing like a 7yr old buffer haha) Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentmichaelscarn Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 So...my boss really knows how to keep her on my mind. She was going to a concert out of town yesterday. She sent me two selfies of her and was texting me a ton. Ugh! I might have to buck up and just tell her how I feel... Link to post Share on other sites
Jammer25 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Just reading this, I would be wary of how much you both have already blurred the lines of professionalism. If you like and value your current job, pull away. Given how close you two are, however, it could affect your work dynamic too. Has she ever hinted in any way at being into you romantically? Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentmichaelscarn Posted January 5, 2016 Author Share Posted January 5, 2016 I'll be honest with you in that I am not very good at picking up clues in regards to her having an interest in me romantically aside from showing some jealousy when another woman shows an interest in me. She does however, seem to hang on every word I say, and her body language (At least according to google) seems to imply she's into me. I would ask if there were clear cut signs to know and look for, but that probably is a whole nother thread right there. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I hope that you realize the risk you are taking. If you and your boss start dating one of you could be fired. Many companies have policies against superiors dating subordinates. Even if you don't get fired, have you thought about what could happen if you became a couple and then there was a breakup? I was casually seeing a man I worked with many moons ago. It was awkward because he was the office cutie and other women hated both of us. When we stopped seeing each other, I didn't like coming to work and seeing that man all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agentmichaelscarn Posted January 9, 2016 Author Share Posted January 9, 2016 I understand the risks, but for now I'm acting as a friend to her, resisting all urges to take it any further. Again she makes it tough though. Last night the team went out and she distanced herself from the group just so the two of us could talk privately. When I left, the conversations didn't stop, she was texting me from the time I left until I went to sleep (a good 2 hrs). Link to post Share on other sites
dsj Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I dated a superior before. Once I was certain it was going somewhere I quit and got a different job. Some companies allow dating but usually never allow you to date your boss. Do you have options to transfer to another department? You have to make a decision here. Either you want your job or you want to date this woman. One of these requires you to leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Hi Agent, the advice by dsj is spot on. If you really value your job AND your developing relationship with your Boss the change your job or get an alternative position. How senior is this person to you? Just be sensisible and do the right thing before you get carried away. Link to post Share on other sites
Padme Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I understand the risks, but for now I'm acting as a friend to her, resisting all urges to take it any further. Again she makes it tough though. Last night the team went out and she distanced herself from the group just so the two of us could talk privately. When I left, the conversations didn't stop, she was texting me from the time I left until I went to sleep (a good 2 hrs). If your boss is hitting on you it's sexual harassment. If you carry on with her she could get herself fired. If your feelings for each other are serious, one of you needs to quit, or she needs to step down from her position of authority. If it's just lust, find someone else to get your rocks off with. Link to post Share on other sites
dsj Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 If your boss is hitting on you it's sexual harassment. If you carry on with her she could get herself fired. No, it's not. If your boss hit on you, you turned them down, and then they continued to do it, it's sexual harassment. If they hit on you in a sexually explicit way, it's sexual harassment. If they hit on you, and did it in a completely inappropriate way that made you feel uncomfortable, it's sexual harassment. The mere act of hitting on someone at work (superior or not) is not sexual harassment. There may be other company rules your boss is breaking here... but sexual harassment isn't one of them. Especially since the sentiments may be mutual here and you never once mentioned you feel uncomfortable or that it's harassment. Check your company handbook for any possible rules against dating co-workers and act accordingly. I'd strongly suggest either finding another position within the company or another job altogether before pursuing a romantic relationship. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut and cut off the flirting. Link to post Share on other sites
ddf44 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Get a new job!!! Link to post Share on other sites
RRM321 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 It's also possible that what your boss appreciates most is the feedback she gets from her sexual power and presence. She may not be "in to you" so much as feeding off of you. You mention that you feel angry and jealous when she speaks to other guys - is this because she displays all the same behaviors with them also? Link to post Share on other sites
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