Is she interested? How to progress?

[aha]

This question related to a girl I met from an online website for meeting friends (not a dating website).

 

For starters, we don't really text much - only really when we are organising a meetup, or when she is travelling to me. I can't work out if she is a big phone person or not, I have never seen her get her phone out in front of me.

 

Okay, so last Friday, it was my third time meeting with her. We were supposed to go ice skating (she was delayed, so we missed it - she seemed upset), but we ended up going bowling - and then she came back to my house. We had a takeout and watched some horror movies.

 

Throughout both movies, we were sat next to each other - I noticed our legs, arms and shoulders were regularly touching. She may have been leaning towards me a tiny bit. During the course of the second and final horror movie, I plucked up the courage to put my arm around her. We were sat on my bed.

 

We cuddled a little bit. Then she changed positions, so she was lying with her head on my chest, and her hand on my stomach. She was stroking my stomach a little. I started stroking her arm and hand. She said she nearly went to sleep.

 

So, I'm not sure, is this a sign that she likes me or is interested in me? Bearing in mind this was my third time meeting her? She's coming again at the weekend for more movies. She said she found it nice and cosy. Should I progress things, if so, how?

[Dekho Karachi]

of course she is interested. Understand one thing about a woman. If she feels insecure or fearful from you, she would never fallen asleep ( which I doubt she really was) .

 

Dont wait . Next time if you get in a moment like this just go for it . Good Luck

[aha]

of course she is interested. Understand one thing about a woman. If she feels insecure or fearful from you, she would never fallen asleep ( which I doubt she really was) .

 

Dont wait . Next time if you get in a moment like this just go for it . Good Luck

 

Thanks for your reply. Does any of this sound "friendly" or "platonic" for two people who have only met three times?

 

I'm not actually sure if she did sleep, she said she was tired, and felt like she was nearly going to sleep.

 

What should I do next time if the cuddling opportunity arises?

[todreaminblue]

Thanks for your reply. Does any of this sound "friendly" or "platonic" for two people who have only met three times?

 

I'm not actually sure if she did sleep, she said she was tired, and felt like she was nearly going to sleep.

 

What should I do next time if the cuddling opportunity arises?

 

its not just friendly , if it happens again enjoy it for what it is...dont try and push anything sounds like it is happening naturally no need to force the issue.....

 

just relax she doesnt sound shy..let her decide how fast or slow it goes......deb

[Standard-Fare]

Next time kiss her. You have the green light.

[aha]

its not just friendly , if it happens again enjoy it for what it is...dont try and push anything sounds like it is happening naturally no need to force the issue.....

 

just relax she doesnt sound shy..let her decide how fast or slow it goes......deb

 

We both struggle with anxiety, if that changes anything?

 

Last time we met, and this time, we were meant to meet in the week on one of her days off. However, these two times (when I asked if she was still okay for that day) said she then had college, or to see a girl friend she hadn't seen in a while. But then suggested we meet on the Friday or the weekend. Does that mean she's not interested?

 

Next time kiss her. You have the green light.

 

How would I go about that? This may seem daft, but I can't crack out of the mindset that I felt like I forced her to cuddle with me. Would she have retaliated differently if she didn't want to cuddle?

[PaperCrane]

I learned this the hard way. Not making a move in this almost exact scenario ended up giving me tremendous heartbreak. DO NOT WAIT to do something.

 

Women are ACUTELY aware of their body, what it is and is not touching, and what is touching them.

 

The simple fact she is trusting of being vulnerable with you (head on the chest reveals their neck, which is very vulnerable and puts her body 'under' yours) is a good sign.

 

Next time you two are alone, do not care about circumstance, and do what you did when you watched the movies and move your hand into hers and go for a kiss. Trust me, if you're posting here about this it is important to you, so don't hesitate to put yourself out there to take what you want.

 

It's easy to go for a kiss, simply lean in and place your lips on hers, instinct will take over and drive for you after. Just enjoy the ride.

 

A girl will most generally tell you to stop if they don't want your touch. A lot of the process is them trusting you. Building that trust is going for it, but being respectful about it. If she didn't trust you she wouldn't have almost fallen asleep on you.

Edited December 16, 2015 by PaperCrane

[preraph]

Especially since you both struggle with anxiety, you MUST kiss her as soon as you see her next time -- on the mouth. Nothing elaborate. Just to set her mind at ease that you are not going to be too shy to act like a boyfriend. Then do whatever you two pass the time with and cuddle and kiss her. Neither of you are probably anywhere near ready to go much past that point, so just enjoy kissing lots for as long as that lasts and don't worry about trying to advance past it until it comes naturally.

[aha]

I learned this the hard way. Not making a move in this almost exact scenario ended up giving me tremendous heartbreak. DO NOT WAIT to do something.

 

Women are ACUTELY aware of their body, what it is and is not touching, and what is touching them.

 

The simple fact she is trusting of being vulnerable with you (head on the chest reveals their neck, which is very vulnerable and puts her body 'under' yours) is a good sign.

 

Next time you two are alone, do not care about circumstance, and do what you did when you watched the movies and move your hand into hers and go for a kiss. Trust me, if you're posting here about this it is important to you, so don't hesitate to put yourself out there to take what you want.

 

It's easy to go for a kiss, simply lean in and place your lips on hers, instinct will take over and drive for you after. Just enjoy the ride.

 

A girl will most generally tell you to stop if they don't want your touch. A lot of the process is them trusting you. Building that trust is going for it, but being respectful about it. If she didn't trust you she wouldn't have almost fallen asleep on you.

 

Especially since you both struggle with anxiety, you MUST kiss her as soon as you see her next time -- on the mouth. Nothing elaborate. Just to set her mind at ease that you are not going to be too shy to act like a boyfriend. Then do whatever you two pass the time with and cuddle and kiss her. Neither of you are probably anywhere near ready to go much past that point, so just enjoy kissing lots for as long as that lasts and don't worry about trying to advance past it until it comes naturally.

 

Thank you both for your advice, that really helped.

How do I know when to go for a kiss? Is there any way to test the waters beforehand? Is it possible to know if she's asking for the same thing?

[Standard-Fare]

You're acting like you've never kissed anyone - is that the case?

 

No one can "force" anyone to cuddle with them. The other party would reject it or else go rigid enough to show very clearly that they're uncomfortable. Instead she seemed to melt right into you. She wanted to be there.

 

If something like that happens again all you have to do is lean your face close to hers, see some response from her (like she'll tilt her face too) and then you go for it. Simple as that.

 

I'm guessing she wanted you to kiss her the first time and was wondering why you didn't.

[Qboro90]

Thank you both for your advice, that really helped.

How do I know when to go for a kiss? Is there any way to test the waters beforehand? Is it possible to know if she's asking for the same thing?[/quote

 

 

Test the waters? What do you need to test? She already has shown that she wants you to kiss her. You should feel supremely confident and secure in leaning in to kiss her. She's watching movies, on your bed together, laying on you, making physical contact by rubbing your stomach and allowing you to stroke her arm and hair.... Do you think girls do this with just friends? No shot. You may have met on a friends site but everyone knows that is just a facade for dating.

 

Next time she comes over to hang out, be confident knowing that this girl likes you and you have it in the bag. Seriously, there's no risk. If she didn't want to kiss you, and didn't like you/find you attractive, then she wouldn't continue to hang out with you and come to your place. She's even driving to you... Dead giveaway.

When she's laying on your chest, just lean down, and kiss her. You can turn her chin gently so she looks up at you and then go for it. And if I were you, I wouldn't wait till the very end of the date to make a move either. Place your arm around her as soon as she sits down next to you, feel free to be affectionate and trace your fingers over her as you sit there... Don't regress and take it painfully slow again with legs touching, leaning in, etc.... Move past the 7th grade, this girl is a gimme.

[aha]

You're acting like you've never kissed anyone - is that the case?

 

I have only kissed one girl before, so I'm really inexperienced in this area.

 

Update on the situation, I'm getting mixed signals.

 

We met up for the fourth time before Christmas. We went ice skating. She held my hand. I tried to "interlock" our fingers a few times, but she undid that and would go back to just holding my hand. She wore gloves that I brought along for her.

 

She came to my house for movies again, and we cuddled from the minute the movie started. I noticed there was a time when she was rubbing my inner thigh. There was also a time when she held my hand close to her "parts". I don't know if this was accidental. We held hands for a small time, before she asked if she could tickle my arm/hands. She also rubbed the bare skin on the side of my stomach, I did the same to her.

 

Before she left, she thanked me for her gifts. Showed me some photos of her family on her phone, and then I thanked her and kissed her on the cheek. She then kissed me on the cheek.

 

I didn't really hear from her over Christmas. But as soon as she got back she sent me a photo of her with her presents I got her. After wishing her a new year and suggesting we meet again, she suggested we go the cinema next week.

 

She said she'd have a look what was on in her text, I replied, but she didn't reply back. We have a day to meet, but not a time.

 

How are my chances looking now? Any tips for the cinema?

[aha]

Ok, if anyone's still reading this, another update...

 

Saw her a few days ago. I made a remark about someone nearly sitting on me on the train. She asked if it was a man or woman. We were laughing, and in a jokey manner (and by accident), I said "It was a man, don't worry". She then asked "why would I be worried?"

 

Yesterday we were texting, and she was telling me about a group of guys that approached her, as one thought she was attractive, and asked for her number. She gave it to them, and said she thought one of them was cute. However, she isn't the right age for her so won't progress it.

 

I'm thinking these are signs of disinterest, despite everything that's happened above?

[Survivor12]

I have to ask--how old are you?

 

The poor girl is pulling out every trick in the book to get you to make a move. She told you about the other guys to make you jealous--or appreciate her enough to step up.

 

I find it interesting that everything you mention is a definitive sign that she likes you. If you were as naive as you make yourself out to be, how would you know the significance of these particular behaviors? C'mon! How many girls put their hand on your inner thigh? Do you really believe that means that she doesn't like you? Of course not!

 

You know perfectly well that she's into you so why are you here asking a group of strangers what you already know?

 

How do you proceed? You respond by letting her know that you are interested in her. Either you kiss her or you straight up tell her that you are attracted to her. Ask her out on a date--just the two of you. Just do something!

[aha]

I have to ask--how old are you?

 

The poor girl is pulling out every trick in the book to get you to make a move. She told you about the other guys to make you jealous--or appreciate her enough to step up.

 

I find it interesting that everything you mention is a definitive sign that she likes you. If you were as naive as you make yourself out to be, how would you know the significance of these particular behaviors? C'mon! How many girls put their hand on your inner thigh? Do you really believe that means that she doesn't like you? Of course not!

 

You know perfectly well that she's into you so why are you here asking a group of strangers what you already know?

 

How do you proceed? You respond by letting her know that you are interested in her. Either you kiss her or you straight up tell her that you are attracted to her. Ask her out on a date--just the two of you. Just do something!

 

Thanks for your reply. I don't wish to disclose my age, however, I do have a form of asperrgers, coupled with low self-esteem. One of my struggles is reading and understanding indicators of interest, and body language in general.

 

I recognise the significance of these signs from articles I have read, however, I can't be sure if they apply to my situation - if I'm "jumping the gun" etc.

 

With the things such as touching my inner thigh, I can't get myself out of the mindset that it happened by accident.

 

Another thing is that I have made a few comments to her such as saying "I'm the best guy in the world aren't I?" (In a not-serious tone), but she has replied (in a serious tone) with "I'm not sure about that" or "I wouldn't go that far".

 

We have also arranged to meet up a week in advance, a few days before I'll ask if she's still okay to come, and she'll say "oh I'm doing something else now". So I have to prompt her before she'll say she can't come anymore.

 

Thanks again for your reply and help, but I genuinely, honestly, don't believe this girl likes me when little things like that crop up. I just don't want to take things further, and possibly mess up a friendship, if she doesn't reciprocate.

[preraph]

One good time to kiss is after you hug her goodbye for the evening and then just go in for a mouth kiss. Doesn't have to be fancy. If she acts like she likes that, then maybe another one

[Heracles]

You think you have a friendship but you will find yourself with nothing if you don't make a move.

 

You get all the signs that she is interested in you but you are still hesitating.

 

If she agreed that you were the best guy in the world, then what? Are you the best guy in the world? Do you want her to lie to stroke your ego? Who is the best guy in the world? Why does that even matter?

 

Make a move or not. The choice is yours. Just remember that your hesitation is killing her attraction to you and soon she will flake on you and you won't see her again.

 

You are playing the game to - not loose.

You are not playing the game to win.

There is an enormous difference between the two.

 

What do you want? What will you do about it?

[TheTraveler]

Thanks for your reply. I don't wish to disclose my age, however, I do have a form of asperrgers, coupled with low self-esteem. One of my struggles is reading and understanding indicators of interest, and body language in general.

 

I recognise the significance of these signs from articles I have read, however, I can't be sure if they apply to my situation - if I'm "jumping the gun" etc.

 

With the things such as touching my inner thigh, I can't get myself out of the mindset that it happened by accident.

 

Another thing is that I have made a few comments to her such as saying "I'm the best guy in the world aren't I?" (In a not-serious tone), but she has replied (in a serious tone) with "I'm not sure about that" or "I wouldn't go that far".

 

We have also arranged to meet up a week in advance, a few days before I'll ask if she's still okay to come, and she'll say "oh I'm doing something else now". So I have to prompt her before she'll say she can't come anymore.

 

Thanks again for your reply and help, but I genuinely, honestly, don't believe this girl likes me when little things like that crop up. I just don't want to take things further, and possibly mess up a friendship, if she doesn't reciprocate.

 

All the answers you seek were written in this thread and you ignored them. This girl did like you, but you didn't read your own thread and act. Good luck.

[aha]

All the answers you seek were written in this thread and you ignored them. This girl did like you, but you didn't read your own thread and act. Good luck.

 

So today was the day when I plucked he courage to make the move. I basically told her I thought she was attractive, and asked if she was interested in progressing our relationship.

 

Things went downhill. She told me that she doesn't see me "like that", and that she never has done. Cue "you're not my type" etc.

 

Concerned to hear she never has seen me like that, I pointed out some of the signs she has given off which would suggest the contrary (cuddles, touching etc). She told me that she just thought we were growing closer as friends, and didn't mean to "lead me on".

 

Awkward silence followed, and she decided to cut our afternoon short not long after. She also said it's best we distance ourselves for a few weeks/months.

 

It's left me quite confused as to what constitutes as genuine flirting to say the least. Unsure as to what happens next...