The Next Big Thing Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 I am at university. THere is a lot of girls. I can go up to stranger girl and talk to her. I can keep the conversation going. I have done that many times. I didnt create this thread so I can learn how to attract girls/women. I try to be myself always and be the best I can be. I just want to know how to get closer to girls and possibly proceed to dates. 1.There are some girls Im interested in but we have talked just a bit because we dont see each other that often..how to get closer to them? Its so easy to get close with someone you see everyday but what about someone you see once a week or less + if they are never alone...and you are interested in this person? When Im interested in a girl I usually talk with her a lot to get to know her better. But if she is never alone how can I get to know her, have a solid conversation with her. If Im not close with her yet, she will probably not go anywhere with me, at least not alone. So how can I get to know a girl and get really close with her in situations like this? 2.Also another thing connected to first one: how to get girl´s/women´s trust? I know some girls probably trust me on certain level because we are good friends and we have known each other for a long time. So MANY conversations. I did it just by being myself and being supportive if they needed. But how to get their trust if you "dont have that much time". In other words, there is a limited time window when you will possibly meet this girl. Maybe next year she will not be in university anymore, or whatever. And you see her just once a week or less, like I mentioned in first question. Plus you have no opportunity to get alone with her. Just occasionaly see her , greet her, speak few sentences. How to get her trust you and get closer to her if its like this?? 3.After how many conversations should be the first date? Or instead of date just go on casual lunch? When inviting girls out like this, should they immediately feel its a date or should they rather feel like "just going to spend good casual time with this cool guy"? Because I for sure believe that there is such a thing as inviting a girl out too soon. But maybe Im wrong. I feel like most girls get defensive when they feel like you are sexually interested in them, or at least too early knowing them. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 The act of dating & that time alone together is part of the get to know you process. You don't have to get to know somebody before you take them on a date but with young college girls, having some foundation is helpful. There is no set number of conversations before a date. If you are concerned about her trusting you make it a day time date in a very public place. Work up to the more romantic night time dates. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The Next Big Thing Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 The act of dating & that time alone together is part of the get to know you process. You don't have to get to know somebody before you take them on a date but with young college girls, having some foundation is helpful. There is no set number of conversations before a date. If you are concerned about her trusting you make it a day time date in a very public place. Work up to the more romantic night time dates. But how to get a girl I dont know that well yet to a date? Should it be something like we have both free time at particular time so we can spend it that we go to lunch together? OR should it be like lets meet somewhere at Saturday for example? You know, the second one seems to me too direct, like it would be obvious Im going after her. Is that good? Or is it better if I just ask her out like "Im going to go to.... or Im going to eat at...Im going to see... ..you wanna join me?" Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 It sounds like you are getting into the friend zone firmly again and again. You can't really get out of that. You need to use those strong communication skills you already have, and bring some flirtiness into the mix right off the bat when you meet these girls. You can't be the harmless friend for months and then turn it on. Yes be obvious, the last thing a woman would want is to be unsure if she was just asked on a date or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 It's a combo The easiest & least risky is Hey, I'm going to be at such & such a place (a bar, a school event, a party) on Saturday. It would be cool if you & your girlfriends dropped by. If she shows up, she likes you. If she doesn't you know she's not interested. Next easiest with least risk, Hey I noticed we both have some time now. Let me buy you a coffee at the Student Union (or other nearby cool place within walking distance) Asking for a Saturday date is much tougher on you & less likely to result in a yes from a girl who doesn't know you. Because although dates are designed to let two people get to know each other young girls don't really want to spend time with relative strangers. Save this for after she says yes to one of the 1st two. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 The problem with calculations like this, is while she's possible not thinking of you at all, you're building up this image of her, the relationship possibilities, etc, leading you to become way too invested, much too early. Been there, done that. Eventually I learned there's no time like the present. If I met/was talking to someone and I thought we'd clicked, I'd just say something like how about we go grab a cup of coffee, soda, something non-threatening in a public place, but clearly showing I was interested in them. Worrying about dates, specific plans, etc., came later... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The Next Big Thing Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 GunslingerRoland, d0nnivain and WaitingForBardot, THANK YOU guys so much! I will use your advice! Link to post Share on other sites
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