emmajane77 Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Hi, I have posted about this problem before, but now the problem has moved on. It is about a guy who I have fallen for. We were good friends saw each other every day and there was chemistry, but at that time he was getting over an ex. He made an advance once, so I know he liked me, but he was always a bit hot and cold, and I wanted to be dated so I decided to leave it and give him time. He went home over the summer and during this time I missed him a lot. I was going to tell him on my return , but he hasn't come back to where I am living due to some problems with his visa. We have written to each other by e-mail, and he said he would tell me all when he arrived. He didn't arrive so I mailed to ask to Skype as I thought he would be a bit down and might want to talk. He said yes and that he would contact me but hasn't, and that was two weeks ago. I know he has been online a lot so now I don't know what to do. I feel that he has cut me off, and now I can't contact him again as it would seem desperate and needy. I just feel really sad without him. I was so happy last year as he made me laugh a lot and now I feel quite empty. I have tried to get on with things and see other people but I end up comparing them to him. I feel in limbo I guess. He evidently doesn't feel the same way otherwise he would have been in contact. Should I mail to tell him how I feel or tell him that I miss him or should I just wait and be patient to see if he comes back, or if he contacts me. I feel I have been patient for too long with him. I know last time that we were getting on really well and then he went home in the holidays and saw his ex and then when he came back he was distant towards me. I know that he hasn't broken off contact with her even though she is with someone else. Perhaps he won't come back and I just need to move on too. I have a regret that I never told him how I felt when he was here. What would you do in this situation? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
RubyWoo Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 I am not great at giving advice and I can relate to you as I tend to think that when someone doesn't contact me they are not interested... but you have to think about what you feel here. Do you feel that there are things that have been left unsaid? Do you think you would feel better if you told him how you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
Author emmajane77 Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 Hi, yes I know I would feel better as I have been carrying it around for too long. I was waiting to see him and tell him face to face but now I don't know if he will return as he hasn't been in contact. I am worried that if I send a mail, he won't reply back, but if I don't tell him, these feeling may just continue and I won't move on as I will always be wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
RubyWoo Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Then by all means go ahead and tell him how you feel! Even if nothing happens at least you know you did everything in your power to move forward. And he might not say anything now out of confusion or whatever, but he will know how you feel shall he think about it and decide to pursue you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author emmajane77 Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 Yes I think you are right, then at least I can say I have done everything I can, and then if he decides that I am not the one for him I will accept it and move on, but it would be tragic to think that he liked me all the time and didn't say anything as he thought I didn't like him that way. I think I will tell him and I will feel a lot better in myself, maybe I will feel more free. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your reply to my message, and your advice on the subject. Link to post Share on other sites
AGoodFriend Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 ...you really may be in love with your friend. If you have gone out and you compare everyone to him, then he is truly the one you want to be with. For whatever reasons, he is giving you the cold shoulder. I'm not clear on how "you left it and gave him time." Do you think you hurt him in the process? Also, he may have met someone else that he is really interested in in the meantime and is focused on that person. I think you might as well send him a final letter explaining how you feel. Be prepared to not receive a response. That will burn you initially, but it will also give you a sense of finality and closure. Much better to cut something off before it gets worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts