Trauma_Luna Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 (edited) Lets start with this, the girl best friend is "N" The ex girlfriend is "D" I met N because she is friend of my ex girlfriend D, but after some time we became like best friends, D an I even had a lot of problems when N was around, D was so jealous of her.. I never gave her reasons to think that, i was truly in love with D and was very happy with my relationship. N was really just my friend, even when she is so beautiful and attractive, i never saw her with different intentions, just the friendly ones. In the last year D changed her ways with me and started hurting me a lot, she even cheated on me once and i forgave her. N was like my therapist, she was always for me and i was always for her. She was so helpful with me when D cheated on me. In the last months, D left me again because she thought i was not interesting to her anymore. I called N asking for help and she said she could not help me this time, and said things like if she wanted us to break up. N and I hang out a lot, like a couple, we go out to have dinner, to drink, we go to dance, we know each other very well, she has opened with me and i have done the same with her. BUT we have NEVER ever talked about being something else. She has sent some signals. One time she said "If i could have a relationship with a friend, that would be you indeed". She was talking with a friend of her once and i was around, then she said "i would never ever date a friend's ex" then when we were alone she said "You heard what i say? I mean D is my friend, but not that kind of friend". In the time that we have been good friends N has dated with lots of guys but it never ends good for her. Last time a guy dumped her i went to her house to give her some company hoping she would feel better. She was crying and i couldn't resist it, i really wanted to hug her so bad, but i didn't. I said things to her like "you are so damn beautiful that i can't believe a guy dumped you" and stuff like that, She smiled and said "Why can't anyone make me feel as good as you do?" The thing is that now that i am single, i realized she made me feel the same way, with D things were always so tense and stressful, and when N was around it always cheered me up, I always woke up wishing to see her again and share some quality time with her, i realized i liked her a lot. We are going out to dinner tonight and i really want this time to make her feel it different, but how do i do it without scare her? I can't stop thinking of her at this moment, i really really like her. How do i take the first step? Just for extra information The night D and i broke up, i got drunk and called N, i asked her to please go to talk to D and convince her not to dump me again, they are friends after all. She said she couldn't do that and the i was on my own, i said "you said you were in my side! how can you leave me alone now?" she replied "well i am on D's side now" and hung up the phone. I felt disappointed and didn't call N in a while. A friend we have in common told me to please call her and fix things up, i did and she was indeed happy to see me again, i said "i only called you because i need a drinking partner and i dont find anyone better than you" she said "so are you just using me? well that's fine for me as long as you are around again". We are having a good friendly relationship again, but i now want to go further. Edited October 2, 2015 by Trauma_Luna Link to post Share on other sites
buck3200 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 and your waiting for what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trauma_Luna Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 and your waiting for what? I don't know... I really don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
buck3200 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 well if it takes some liquid courage next time your drinking with her make a move. Link to post Share on other sites
skier10 Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Please do something about this sooner than later. These things are so easy to see from the outside but the self doubt you feel when you are invested in the outcome is very real. I am in a very similar situation, every I hang out with my 'friend' and don't act I feel like a coward, and fool for not doing so afterward. All the signs point to her being totally into you, go for it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trauma_Luna Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Please do something about this sooner than later. These things are so easy to see from the outside but the self doubt you feel when you are invested in the outcome is very real. I am in a very similar situation, every I hang out with my 'friend' and don't act I feel like a coward, and fool for not doing so afterward. All the signs point to her being totally into you, go for it We were supposed to go to have dinner yesterday and i was going to declare there, but a guy from her job invited her and she cancelled me, ****. I am the president of the "Friends for ever" country. I spoke with her best friend and she said "don't get confused by the way she threats you, she is like that with all of her friends". Then i told her what she has told me, about being the only one able to make her feel good and stuff and the friend was very surprised and said, "well she doesn't say that to all of her friends, you should totally try it" and ended up with "she does not see you as a possible couple because she doesn't think she can, that why she doesn't care and go out with guys, but if you show her you are interested, things will totally change". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trauma_Luna Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 She asked me to go with her to the gym tomorrow and after tht we are going to have some drinks, i will let her know my feelings there. Wish me luck. Link to post Share on other sites
glycerine Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 She asked me to go with her to the gym tomorrow and after tht we are going to have some drinks, i will let her know my feelings there. Wish me luck. I just read this, I'm curious to know what happened... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trauma_Luna Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 I just read this, I'm curious to know what happened... She got sick and we couldn't meet. But i saw her yesterday, i couldn't tell her my feelings because there were friends around, but in a moment we were alone she said "You know what grind my gears? i wish i could find someone like, but i am convinced you are unique" Link to post Share on other sites
Truth34 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Dang, the two cancellations make the anticipation build up like crazy. Try to be cool about it, bro. Easier said than done! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trauma_Luna Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 Dang, the two cancellations make the anticipation build up like crazy. Try to be cool about it, bro. Easier said than done! Damn i know, i am going crazy, i will cal her tonight and if we can meet i will make the move, wish me luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trauma_Luna Posted October 15, 2015 Author Share Posted October 15, 2015 We hanged out yesterday but the first thing she said was, "D told me she is sad about the break up and that you didn't answer her calls, how are you?" I said i was fine and sure that i never want to get involved with D again. We skipped the topic an everything went awesome, but due to that first topic on the table she came up with i didn't think it was correct to reveal my feelings.. DANG! Link to post Share on other sites
glycerine Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 We hanged out yesterday but the first thing she said was, "D told me she is sad about the break up and that you didn't answer her calls, how are you?" I said i was fine and sure that i never want to get involved with D again. We skipped the topic an everything went awesome, but due to that first topic on the table she came up with i didn't think it was correct to reveal my feelings.. DANG! Make your intentions clear man, don't be afraid to change the subject, stop making excuses, you're thinking too much. Call her and tell her "I have a secret, but can't tell you over the phone" if she says "tell me now or what's this about" don't spill anything (in a funny way, not creepy), if she doesn't seem to care, change the subject. I'll bet you she'll want to know, if not right there later. When you finally get to tell her DON'T CHICKEN OUT, like telling her some bogus secret. Make your intentions clear, that's all you need, no luck. In the worst case scenario there are MILLIONS of girls. Link to post Share on other sites
froz Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I think it's best to go for it when you have an opportunity like this. You don't want the whole what if scenario to keep replaying in your head. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trauma_Luna Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 I haven't had the chance to speak with her, but i think it wont go well... she hasn't responded any of my messages, we were supposed to go out on a roadtrip tomorrow but i think she will cancel. Maybe i started to put too much attention on her and she freaked out. Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 I wish I could draw A highway sign for you saying Warning Friend Zone Ahead. I was there twice in my life and it's not a nice place to be if you want more than friendship. Don't play coy. Tell her how you feel. She either accepts the offer or rejects it her choice not yours. The problem is that she still has a relationship with your ex GF and may. It want to sacrifice that relationship. If that's the case any rejection is no reflection on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trauma_Luna Posted October 23, 2015 Author Share Posted October 23, 2015 Agh i just don't get her... We always text and we make plans to go out and spend some time together, but when the time comes she never responds, she cancels or she simply text me like at 11:00 pm with a "I am sorry for not being able to be with you today"... I am really really frustrated. We spend all the last sunday together and everything went perfect, i couldn't tell her my feelings because she started talking about my ex, how i was feeling about the breakup, and how she thinks their friendship is over, and i thought it was not appropriate to do it just after that chat we had. Today we were supposed to go get some drinks and i am here sitting in my pc writing in this "reply-less" forum waiting for her to call, thing that's not going to happen. I am seriously thinking on throwing the towel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trauma_Luna Posted November 5, 2015 Author Share Posted November 5, 2015 It has been a month and i haven't made the move. Link to post Share on other sites
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