Jump to content

Struggling with on and off feelings


Recommended Posts

I've been struggling with feelings for a friend of mine at university for about a year, the feelings generally come and go so I'd say that I've liked her for about 6 months. When I don't see her, the feelings go away but if I see/interact with her, the feelings come straight back.

 

The feelings originally came round a year ago, I wanted to ask her out straight away but I got admitted to hospital (she was present and saved my life,) so it was somewhat delayed. I ended up asking her out a month later to which she turned me down and the feelings went away when I went home for the summer.

 

She acted strangely towards me when we both came back to uni, which to summarize: she got protective of me, wouldn't live me alone and continually asked whether I was okay for a couple of weeks. I approached her about it and she claimed it was nurse mode and she denied having feelings for me or trying to play me. As it turned out, she was "seeing/FWB" someone else and the feelings went away and it was awkward for a little while but we got back to normal being friends.

 

This year the feelings came back strongly, where I freaked out and subconsciously pushed her away by acting like a complete knob (mostly alcohol was involved) to her. Its making me think I have commitment issues which is a different issue and I'm researching it atm. I spent most of the year apologizing to her, she forgave me everytime without question but I feel that the damage has been done. The feelings had gone away, but came back this week when I saw her again as part of a group but I didn't speak to her.

 

I'm thinking about treating this like a breakup and going NC until I can get these feelings under control. Would this be a good plan? Let me know any other suggestions you have and they would be hugely appreciated.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I was going to post in Coping.

 

The day after I posted this, I bumped into her on a night out where we hung out, danced together and she held my hand. At the end of the night (she hadn't been drinking and I'd sobered up, so I decided to bring my feelings up.

 

I told her how I felt about her and she told me she only ever saw me as a "close friend." She explained that she forgave me so easily when I was a knob to her, because she (somehow) knew that I wasn't doing it to cause offense and still regularly spoke to me because we're "close." We agreed that we wouldn't talk anymore until my feelings went away.

 

I will be seeing her 2+ times a week which is out of my own control, but I will be implementing NC as I see fit. These feelings of rejection really suck, but I'm going to be really busy at university this year so I'm hoping that it won't be long before they go.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...