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I don't know what it is


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He is 33 and I am 23. He has built an international career in finance; doesn't think about money and has travelled most of the world. I am a student, interning and sometimes asking his advice if its from the field - usually he eagerly shares his wisdom.

 

He says I am beautiful, but not his type. We do occasionally have sex, but it seems I want it much more than he does. From technical side it is amazing - he always makes sure I have an orgasm first and never lets me go until I am satisfied. But he doesn't seem to have an urge to touch me, hug or kiss.

 

We both don't want a relationship (me - because it would be long-distance; no idea about his motives)

 

He repeatedly said I am smart and "will grow up a good woman". Nevertheless when I am with him I act and talk stupid and can't come up with a topic to talk. He is strongly extraverted and talkative when in a group, but with me usually silent. He cares about my professional path and strictly warns me about bad moves.

 

And after all this written above, he says he wants to meet up regularly (when I am in the country) and communicate. He takes me to various intellectual and sports activities, doesn't have a problem paying for me, but will never act as a boyfriend.

 

Sometimes it seems, he is mentoring me.

Sometimes I think we are close to being friends.

Sometimes I wish he would just hug me.

 

I don't understand what this man wants from me and I am confused. Anyone had a similar situation?

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Most of all it just seems like he is getting exactly what he wants out of what you have. Sex, company, someone to share his wisdom/experience with and no need for attachment or things to be more complicated than that. You seem to want more, if not now but perhaps eventually. Best way to find out someones motives is to ask them, but if you are otherwise content with this relationship, why change anything. As long as neither of you are hurt or will be hurt down the line, then you should proceed as you wish. If you feel like you want more, then you owe it to yourself to ask or you'll just keep wondering what his overall agenda is with you.

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for me, ambiguous arrangements like these can distract you from finding something else. If you want something else, end it. If you are fine with the ambiguity, stay in contact with him.

 

But don't forget you deserve more if you want it.

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