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Friend, potential for something more?


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There is some strange situation, there is a girl, like 12 years younger, i never considered her as interesting, i was always teasing her and i still do due to her nature to get all red. We started to talk a bit, asked her out for a drink once (never declared or even thought about it as a date), then this became quite regular during last half of year, we meet at least 2 times per week, mostly alone. This week we are going to opera, etc. What the funny thing is, during this time i have figured she is a great girl, somekind of a soulmate and it was quite surprised on my own, thoughts when i once cought myself starring at her legs, figuring out that she is a "babe". She might be a potential for a partner but i dont want to spoil something if it is considered as a friendship from her side... I dont care about age difference, but i really dont want to be creepy...

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What does she talk to you about? Does she talk to you like a girlfriend, you know, about her man woes and all that? If so, you're a friend to her -- unless she used to do that and seems to have stopped doing it lately. Does she ever touch you casually on the arm or shoulder or anything at all physical? Do you ever touch her casually, and if so, what is her reaction? Have you been paying for all the outings like a date? Or does she go Dutch?

 

After considering all that, to me, there's two ways to go. One is to just see how she reacts to polite touching, like hand on back leading her in the door or touching legs at the movie, or taking her hand on the sidewalk. If she flinches, don't do that no more. If she seems to warm to it, there you have it.

 

The other approach is to be blatant that you are inviting her out "on a real date," and use those words. "Mary, I was thinking I should take you out on a real date Saturday. What do you think?" Now, this will prompt questions or comments. The more questions, the less interested she is. But if she says, "That would be GREAT," you're in.

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Talk to her if she's over 20. If she is not, leave it be because the life stages are too different at this point.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Ok, to give something back to the forum, the end of the story (or the beginning):

 

2 weeks back, we went out for a dinner, and it was a dinner packed with emotions, at least from my side, we stayed there until they closed down, in one moment i went out of words and she noticed it. I sent her an SMS before going to sleep that we need to talk. Next day i was direct, i told her that i have feelings for her and she responded that i am out of luck. It was like someone would hit me with sledgehammer, but i didnt go into "goodbye forever" mode even if she expected it, i explained her, that it started as a friendship and this rejection doesnt change anything. The next days were a bit awkward, but i forced myself into not beeing different as before and i didnt make the whole thing a big deal, i just accepted it as a fact. And I didnt make the whole thing a taboo and was talking about just casually, like about weather :).

 

Yesterday we were swimming in sea, naked, in middle of the night, and i did get a kiss... the moral of this story, *uck the stupid advices all over internet that if you are rejected you should just break all the ties. It is just a stupid idea, sometimes the stars only need to align.

 

Now the completely different part of the story has started, having a relationship, i already know i will spoil her as hell...:rolleyes:

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