EMY711 Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 I was intimate with a friend I had feelings for one night. We recently talked about our feelings for each other and due to circumstances in his past life he ins't ready for a relationship with anyone. He wants to meet people and establish friendships because right now he doesn't have any. He stated he has feelings for me and doesn't want me out of his life. He wants to build a friendship with the next person he plans to be in a relationship with because he wants to get to know the person for who they are before becoming intimate. He apologized and confessed he didn't want to take things further with me that one night because he doesn't want to hurt me if things weren't to work out in the long run. We have hung out after the conversation and have done well but I the last two times, I had expectations that maybe something will work out. So I find myself getting upset with him. He tells me it frustrates him and he gets upset that i'm upset and doesn't like seeing me that way. He asked what he can do to help and I told him I can't talk to him anymore until my feelings go away. I feel as if Im driving him away from my emotions and I do want a friendship in the long run because I value that. Im more worried and embarrassed by my emotions but I can't help but express them. Any one from experience could give me advice I'd appreciate it. I don't know what I should do right now. He is attracted to me and cares about me so much but do you think expressing myself hurts the attraction he had? should I keep my distance, move on with my life without texting and if our friendship re-kindles then let it be? Any help would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
mavendark Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Um... it sounds like he wants to keep you around for backup or something. He's giving you mixed signals and that's a no-no. If you made it clear that you want to pursue something with him and he doesn't want to do anything with you, you should just have no contact for a while. Until your own feelings settle down of course. I think that seeing him while you still have feelings for him will first get your hopes up for nothing, and secondly will make you emotionally revolved around him. Keep yourself away from that and distance yourself for a while. It's for your own good! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Yes, you absolutely did the right thing! You need space to get over him. You might want to be good friends with this guy but it might not be the best thing for you. It is very hard to be around someone as friends when you have romantic feelings for them. It is difficult to hide, not matter how hard you try and it hurts your self esteem. You also have to think about how it will feel when he meets someone else and you have to pretend to be ok with it. I don't think it is fair to you. Weigh up the pros and cons, and do what is best for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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