The end of an era?

[Fionna]

Hi -

 

I've been in a full-time time graduate school and will be graduating soon. I have a classmate that I really like. I am 6 years older than him. We are the same star sign, we think-alike, we have the same preferences and likes, we talk on chat every day, we sat in the class next to each other 80% of the time, we are working on the thesis project together. I know a lot about him, he told me a lot about his family and life and vice versa. We also had couple of smaller disagreements that we smoothed out quickly. We often had a lunch together at a school canteen alone. His culture frowns upon age difference and in his country the age difference is usually +/- 3 years. In his culture people don't play dating games and the communication is usually very straight forward. He often tells me half-jokingly that I should find a local bf. We are both studying in a 3rd country (not our countries of origin).

 

Anyhow, we are getting closer to the graduation so I purposely asked him couple of questions to gage his feelings:

 

-me: what will you do with all the free time on your hands now that the classes are over?

- him: we are still working on the thesis

- me: it was much heavier work load before.

- me: you should look for a gf now that you speak the local language

- him: haha

- him: I need to find a new apartment

- me:are you staying in this country for a long?

- him: yes for a job, it's a unique opportunity

- me: 5 years?

- him: something like that

- me: i would only stay if something or someone really ties me to a place

- him: you should really think deeply if you want to stay here. you don't like the people here

- me: silence...

- him: didn't you say that country x has a developed industry of your interest?

- me: yes, it does

- him: you should try there

- me: thank you for the advice

- me: will you miss the school?

- him: yes, the studying part

- me: long silence

- him: long silence

- him: and you, will you miss it?

- me: yes, will miss studying too ... ( I of course didn't think that)

 

 

Anyhow, is it safe to conclude that there was never anything there on his part? And that I was fooling myself? And that I basically let myself develop all these feelings when clearly there is nothing going on?

 

Thank you!

Edited June 30, 2015 by Fionna

[preraph]

Well, with you telling him up front he should go find a girlfriend, I guess you'll never know because telling him that is indicating to him that you are not interested. Why would you do that? It's the opposite of how you feel. Was it a test to see if he would say "Oh, no, I love YOU"? Because no one would do that after being told to go find a girlfriend. So he told you that right back and whether it was for that reason or he sincerely thinks you should, you'll never know unless you are honest.

[Fionna]

Every single day he tells me I should get a local bf. Every single day I tell him I don't want a local bf. It became comical. So, I wanted him to experience how that feels.

For example, I had a Mac issue that impacted our project. He is a computer scientists YET he still tells me I should get a local bf who knows computers.

Basically, for any problem in life he tells me I should get a local bf (not from either of our countries).

He doesn't give this advice to other female classmates.

 

I've been depressed and crying all day.

Edited June 30, 2015 by Fionna