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Female friend and I doing date things but where do we stand?


centaur of attention

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centaur of attention

I have a friend whose boyfriend broke up with her several months ago. Over the next while I did a lot of things with her as a friend but I have come to realize that I am really interested in her. I didn't push things too hard for a while because I wanted to give her the time and space to get over her breakup.

 

More recently however we have been doing a lot of things that are very date-like. Over the past weekend we went to breakfast, then went for a drive then went to a museum. At breakfast the waiter made a comment about us being a couple, which we then kind of joked about/pretended to be for the rest of the day. Throughout the day we hugged a lot, and she did the playing with her hair thing. Later, she made a point of telling my brother that the waiter at breakfast thought we were dating, she didn't say anything negative about it, just brought it up.

 

I feel like she is giving me all the signals of liking me but I just want to hear someone else's input.

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I have a friend whose boyfriend broke up with her several months ago. Over the next while I did a lot of things with her as a friend but I have come to realize that I am really interested in her. I didn't push things too hard for a while because I wanted to give her the time and space to get over her breakup.

 

More recently however we have been doing a lot of things that are very date-like. Over the past weekend we went to breakfast, then went for a drive then went to a museum. At breakfast the waiter made a comment about us being a couple, which we then kind of joked about/pretended to be for the rest of the day. Throughout the day we hugged a lot, and she did the playing with her hair thing. Later, she made a point of telling my brother that the waiter at breakfast thought we were dating, she didn't say anything negative about it, just brought it up.

 

I feel like she is giving me all the signals of liking me but I just want to hear someone else's input.

 

In a way, you being around and doing date-like things with her after her break-up has made you a surrogate boyfriend. It's like she had a rebound without actually rebounding. That's not necessarily a bad thing, and it seems like it's helped her move on.

 

It sounds like you're on the cusp of possibly transitioning into a relationship. Her bringing up that comment to your brother, in my opinion, seems like her way of trying to put that discussion on the table. So, talk to her about it, and tell her what you think.

 

I would usually caution with going from friends to dating (you can't really go back once you've crossed that threshold), but outside of weighing the pros and cons (which it sounds like you have), it seems like she's entertaining the thought as well.

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