Hannahlily Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Hi all Hoping you can help or at least shed some light on a confusing but surely repetitive subject. There is a FB guy (I've never met him) who messages me fairly frequently. Sometimes, every couple of days, five or ten and occasionally three weeks will pass before he contacts me again. We talk about issues that we are both involved with (we have friends in common, too) and we talk for a while, and sometimes hours. He always contacts me first, I very rarely message him. He isn't flirty, (or doesn't seem to be) although he has told me my opinion of him is important and that he considers me a friend. (Perhaps that is my answer). I really like him, not sure if he's just being friendly or if he actually does likes me. Sometimes, I feel as though he invents excuses to talk to me, but its hard to say. i generally remain friendly/non flirty with him. He didn't message me for about a month, but recently has started contacting me again, twice in one week. I will likely be meeting him at some point, as we do have mutual friends and interests, but I guess i would like some opinions in order to move on from this or perhaps consider sharing my feelings with him. Any thoughts? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 He could be taken. He could be shy. He could just not be interested enough to ask you out. I'd lean towards he's with someone. Why don't you just ask him. Say "So are you married or going with anyone?" Just ask. What could it hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlily Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 He could be taken. He could be shy. He could just not be interested enough to ask you out. I'd lean towards he's with someone. Why don't you just ask him. Say "So are you married or going with anyone?" Just ask. What could it hurt. Yes. He's definitely not taken, but I agree he could be shy. I think its more likely he's not interested, other than a friend. I just wanted to get some insights into whether or not i was overestimating this friendship or if perhaps, some attraction could be there on his part. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 What are your feelings for him? I think he probably has some attraction to you due to the "your opinion of him is important" comment. Usually people don't say that sort of thing without some interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlily Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 What are your feelings for him? I like him. Just not quite sure if he does. Its just so hard to tell, if he's just being friendly or he's contacting me because of feelings and I'm not quite at the point where I'm brave enough to hint. He doesn't seem the flirty type either, he's more on the serious side, so a part of me feels intimidated to flirt with him. Like he wouldn't know what to do. lol Do men contact women just on a friendly basis or do they contact women because they like them? I can never figure this out. Link to post Share on other sites
Bohonia Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I would recommend meeting him with your mutual friends and seeing if you have any sparks offline before you tell him about your feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlily Posted April 27, 2015 Author Share Posted April 27, 2015 I would recommend meeting him with your mutual friends and seeing if you have any sparks offline before you tell him about your feelings. i think so, too! Haven't heard from him in over a week. Decided I'm an online friend, with common interests, he likes to talk to occasionally. I'm essentially just projecting my own feelings and thinking he feels the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Bolacool Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 i think so, too! Haven't heard from him in over a week. Decided I'm an online friend, with common interests, he likes to talk to occasionally. I'm essentially just projecting my own feelings and thinking he feels the same. Just like the above advise, go to meet him with other friends and find out how things comes out after that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlily Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 Just like the above advise, go to meet him with other friends and find out how things comes out after that. I think he's too inconsistent. Generally, if someone likes another, they don't wait three weeks to contact someone they're interested in. I've been recalling conversations and despite our common interests, I realized he's never even asked me one personal question. Nor does he greet me or even say my name. These are all red flags in my book. If he's acting this way online, i can't see how real life would be different. Likely worse, especially if deeper feelings are involved. thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlily Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 Just thought I'd update on this. I'm still talking to him on FB semi regularly. (he initiates) and despite me putting up a status indicating I was in his city, he never tried to contact me to meet at all. I even talked to him online when i was there and he didn't even mention trying to get together. I've got my answer now. Sad, but now I know. thanks for the responses Hannahlily Link to post Share on other sites
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