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Reconnected with fwb/ best male friend after 10 years..


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So, I will try to make this kind of short.

 

Iv'e had this best friend since middle school. We are both in our 30's now and have reconnected after 10 years. As young people, we both had feelings for eachother. but as life happens, he met someone and so did I. We reconnected via email every couple years, but never saw eachother. It's like something always pulls us back together.

 

After a few years of not talking, in our early twenties we reconnected and hooked up a few times. Talked constantly for about a year. Then our partners found out, and we started nc. That was really hard on us both.

 

Fast forward to about 2 1/2 months ago. My husband passed away about a year and a half ago.. When he finally heard through the grape vine, he contacted me. It's been a whole whirlwind of emotions. The first 6 weeks or so it was just like old times. Talking for hours upon hours, sometimes 12-14 hours a day!

 

Somewhere along the way, I kinda have started to develop feelings..I know we can't actually BE together (just life and everything that goes along with it, and we live hours away from eachother) and I am totally okay with that. I don't even want that kind of relationship with him I don't think. I think he has developed feelings again as well..

 

We had arranged to meet up last weekend and because of a miscommunication on my part, it didn't happen. I think he was actually hurt that I "Flaked" (was not intentional, I really wanted to)

 

It's been a few days, and he isn't contacting me at all.. The contact has dropped somewhat in the last few weeks, as to be expected of course after the initial high of reconnecting, but it was still every single day.. So now I am confused. I apologized and explained what happened. I wish I knew why we was being distant now..

 

I need to figure out what exactly these feelings are, what I really want and how to deal with him not texting/calling me back. I am trying to give him space. I think what we both kind of want is a fwb situation like we have had in the past. He is my best friend forever and I have missed him so much. We just connect, like we always have since we were 13.

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So, I will try to make this kind of short.

 

Iv'e had this best friend since middle school. We are both in our 30's now and have reconnected after 10 years. As young people, we both had feelings for eachother. but as life happens, he met someone and so did I. We reconnected via email every couple years, but never saw eachother. It's like something always pulls us back together.

 

yes, but don't imagine it's healthy....

 

After a few years of not talking, in our early twenties we reconnected and hooked up a few times. Talked constantly for about a year. Then our partners found out, and we started nc. That was really hard on us both.

I imagine your partners found it quite hard, too...

 

Fast forward to about 2 1/2 months ago. My husband passed away about a year and a half ago.. When he finally heard through the grape vine, he contacted me. It's been a whole whirlwind of emotions. The first 6 weeks or so it was just like old times. Talking for hours upon hours, sometimes 12-14 hours a day!

If he's still married, this is not a good way to go....

 

Somewhere along the way, I kinda have started to develop feelings..I know we can't actually BE together (just life and everything that goes along with it, and we live hours away from eachother) and I am totally okay with that. I don't even want that kind of relationship with him I don't think. I think he has developed feelings again as well..

If he has feelings, and you have feelings and he's still married, then this really is an unwise process to follow.

Of course you want that kind of relationship. Well, at last, you want SOME kind of relationship. But if he is still married, it's a traincrash waiting to happen. No good will come of it....

 

.....

It's been a few days, and he isn't contacting me at all.. The contact has dropped somewhat in the last few weeks, as to be expected of course after the initial high of reconnecting, but it was still every single day.. So now I am confused. I apologized and explained what happened. I wish I knew why we was being distant now..

With the apparent lack of discretion, it could be his wife is protesting.

And rightly so....

 

I

need to figure out what exactly these feelings are, what I really want and how to deal with him not texting/calling me back. I am trying to give him space. I think what we both kind of want is a fwb situation like we have had in the past.

 

So is he still married, or not?

What complication is stopping you guys getting together for good?

 

He is my best friend forever and I have missed him so much. We just connect, like we always have since we were 13
.

No, he's not your 'best friend for ever'. If he were, he would be moving hell and high water to be with you, so something is amiss here.

I think you need to back off and cool it, and wait and see what he does next.

 

if nothing at all happens in a week - move on.

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Is he married or single? If he's single, you should visit face to face a few times, including a vacation stayover just hanging out to see how you really get along.

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melodicintention

Move on, he's tasted the pie and he's moved on. Never sleep with a man you want to keep in your life until he makes you his girlfriend. FWB never last and you can't recreate the past. Best to move on and don't sleep with a guy until he professes his love to you if you want them to call back after doing the nasty.

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Is he married or single? If he's single, you should visit face to face a few times, including a vacation stayover just hanging out to see how you really get along.

 

No, he is not married.

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