Ultraviolet75 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 About 6 months ago, I started spending a lot of time with a coworker. He was in a relationship and I was newly separated with a child. We really enjoyed each other's company and we're both attracted to each other. He was constantly telling me how beautiful I was, that I was the smartest woman he had ever met and that we had an incredible mental and emotional connection. But, he also told me that he had commitment issues and that (while he had thought of dating me) the thought of dating someone with a child was a mental barrier. Our friendship was mostly platonic with the exception of a few drunken makeout sessions. About 4 months after we met, he broke up with his girlfriend. Shortly thereafter, we both acknowledged that we had feelings for each other. Nothing further happened until one drunken night (a few weeks later) we hooked up. No sex bc I said no but I did give him a blowjob. He texted me normally the next day but then proceeded to not communicate for week and neither did I. I finally texted him and suggested that we clear the air. When we met, I asked him whether he stopped communicating bc he thought that I had relationship expectations. He said no but that he was weirded out bc he was " used to seeing me I a certain light and saw me in a different light that night". What a does that mean? That he has some Madonna/whore complex? He seemed to be very aroused by me that night. Is he scared of intimacy with someone who he has an emotional connection with? I'm confused!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Before anything happened he told you that he had issues with the fact that you have a child. Stuff happened & he now sees you in a different light. I suspect his whore / Madonna complex is kicking in because he has a hang up & doesn't see moms as sexual beings. I don't know if he lost respect for you but I give you permission to lose respect for him because he can't reconcile motherhood with continuing to be a person, who has needs including sexual ones. The hang up is his, not yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mizz Layta Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I don't think he lost respect for you. Maybe things will be weird and awkward from now on if you are trying to resume platonic friendship with him again .only if you let them. How do you feel about him? Are you interested in dating him? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I do think he had the Madonna/Whore thing going on. Not a good sign. Causes all kinds of double standards. Anyway, you know he doesn't want a kid or a relationship, so that's not even on the table. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultraviolet75 Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 One additional detail. Immediately after the act, he said " I really really respect you " I thought that this was a bizarre thing to say after the fact. Link to post Share on other sites
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