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Slept with a long-time friend of mine.


CarsandTattoos

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CarsandTattoos

Hey guys, first time poster on here and I'm not even sure this is the right section to post in, so if not, please forgive me.

 

I'll just start here, sorry if this gets to be a tad long.

I've been in an on and off again relationship with the same girl for almost 3 years. And lately, I haven't felt a strong connection for quite some time. Idk if it's just me, or what. But I just don't feel that "spark" like I used to.

 

But I have a very good friend that I've known since middle school. She's always been extremely funny and the girl next door type of pretty. Always a good time to hang out with. Well we hang out maybe once or twice a month, mainly to go grab a drink and talk about work and whatnot. She dates around while I stay in this relationship that I'm in. We've always been good friends and we used to "talk" in high school. We're both 23 right now.

 

Maybe 3 years ago, we were hanging out at her house with some friends, drinking and smoking like 20 years old do. All of her friends had left and it was just us, we ending up making out for a while and didn't proceed to do anything else. We made out for a while then fell asleep. I woke up the next day and left. It was somewhat of an elephant, but we moved on and acted like nothing ever happened. That was 3 years ago.

 

Fast forward to Tuesday night of this week. We've been getting drinks like I said, maybe twice a month together with friends. Well she invited me to a bar Tuesday night and I met her and 2 of our friends there. We drank and had some laughs as friends do. Then we left the one bar and went to another down the street. We all proceeded to drink and have a good time, when towards the end of the night she started to get a little touchy-feely with me. Then we started holding hands before we left. When everyone decided it was time to hit the road, she sent me a text saying, "you're more than welcome to come to my place if you want." So I was drunk and I've always had feelings for her, so of course I did.

 

I met her at her house, and she said I could crash there if I wanted. She was already in "booty" shorts and a tank top when I got there. (I assume just getting ready for bed). I stripped down to just my underwear and jeans and got into bed with her. We watched Netflix for about 30 minutes or so in between talking. She said that she was texting our friends while we were at the bar, saying she wanted to make out with me. I guess she felt the need to tell me that. Then, well, we had sex. Her knowing that I'm in an unhappy relationship at the moment.

 

The next morning, I got up early and left, because we both had work. And later in the day, she said she was sorry for inviting me and she shouldn't have. I completely understand if she feels guilty, as do I because I'm now a cheater.

 

What I want to know from you guys, is why did that happen between us? Drunken courage? Something that has been boiling for a while to finally burst and act upon? Or just a drunken one-night stand? I'd like your guys opinions on what happened between us Tuesday night. (PLEASE SAVE THE "YOU'RE A CHEATER" comments, I'm well aware of what I did, and I'm not exactly proud of it.)

 

Thanks in advance!

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I can definitely say that when you're drunk you cant think straight. Even if you're a little tipsy, you can do very silly things.

 

With that said, I think that since you were intoxicated, you couldn't hear yourself saying this is wrong. Was she drunk as well?

 

You say that you're in a unhappy relationship right now, so maybe you're searching for some other form of happiness with a girl whom you had feelings for?

 

But like I said you were drunk so it could just be a one night stand like you suggested.

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If you're in an unhappy relationship, leave it.

 

Nobody gets any medals for being unhappy.

 

Or cheating.

 

Rethink the relationship you're in. It's not right that you slept with your friend. Know that when you get into bed with the opposite sex - then sex is likely.

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Well, alcohol breaks down our walls and inhibitions. Really, in a way, it shows us what we actually want without all the barriers.

 

When you guys woke up, whatever 'barriers' you guys had came back.

 

You cheated, yes. But you can come out of this hurting everyone involved a lot less by telling your girlfriend and ending it. Regardless of the reasons why it is an unhappy relationship, be honest about it. In the least, just break up with her.

 

Then you need to talk to your friend. If this was what it took for you to leave your unhappiness, then it wasn't overall a 'bad' thing, although it is pretty immoral and ****ty. If you actually have had a thing for her for so long, tell her. This will always hang over the two of you now, so it is best to address it promptly in the way you see fit.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Personally don't tell your gf just leave the relationship on other terms.

 

To me It's quite childish to share your guilt with your gf. Your responsible to hold that burden and carry that guilt to yourself not her. She didn't do anything why make her feel worse.

 

Telling her just makes you look like a scumbag. **** happens. Keep moving

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  • 3 weeks later...
DatingDirection

It's all how you feel about it. Was it just a one night stand to you? Do you have feelings for her? There are a lot of questions to ask yourself at this point. But you also need to evaluate the relationship you are in right now too. I would separate the two relationships, and evaluate them both. What do you want in a lover? You're only 23 so being serious with anyone at this point is out of the question. On the other hand that doesn't mean I promote cheating. So one question off your list is, how do I handle this one with my current girlfriend, b/c consider that relationship gone, since you cheated on her.

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